Hitting in Daycare

Mary - posted on 11/19/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My just turned 3 year old daughter is apparently hitting and choking kids at daycare. She has been in a in home pre school since last year. I went to pick her up last night and the lady says how my daughter picked up a plastic knife in the playroom and stabbed another kid with it. She says that she will choke other kids for no reason. I agree my daughter can get really excited and choke and hit, but I have never seen her do it with rage. This lady told me I need to consider getting my child counseling to find out why she is doing this. I would do this except for the fact that my daughter is not developmentally delayed or does she have issues of rage that I have ever seen when she has been playing with other kids. I have also worked at a mental health facility with kids with extreme issues and I would have to say that she is not exhibiting any of these characteristics. I want to help my daughter if she is really having issues, but I am not going to put her under a microscope and be evaluated for being a normal 3 year old. Any thoughts on this would be helpful.

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Danicia - posted on 11/20/2013

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I wonder if talking with her and explaining "nice touch" vs "bad touch" would help. I know my 2yr old has choked me a few times just out of excitement, never rage, and I have sternly expressed distaste and disappointment in that behavior which seemed to curb the behavior. Start cracking down on your daughter at home about the hitting/choking etc with an unfavorable consequence such as time out or whatever floats your boat. Explain that if she does that ANYWHERE she will get in trouble (if you want to give the daycare provider permission to continue consequences i.e.-timeout go for it that way there is consistency and accountability for her actions everywhere). she's 3 yrs old, she's going to push boundaries. when people assume that it's mental/psychological I just want to roll my eyes. kids will be kids, they just need to learn acceptable behavior from nonfavorable- it doesn't mean that they are damaged in the head to push boundaries! good luck!

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Mary - posted on 11/20/2013

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Wow... You sound just like the daycare lady... This comment was very unhelpful!! BTW.. There are plenty of real knives in my house,and if she has ever seen one or picked it up in front of me, she has never tried to cut me or run around and stab people. She just turned 3 and she does not have anger issues

User - posted on 11/19/2013

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ok when is it ok to choke and hit and stab? only if shes laughing and making fun??i wouldnt care if she was having fun its not execrable to do that in anyway,, by 3 she should know that hitting is not nice, and stabbing and choking isnt something that a 3 year old should know so either someone has been letting her watch things that are not for her to watch or someone has been showing her that cause thats not something that some one just wakes up doing ,, now if you say she never does it in anger with you while your watching her with friends and she does it at daycare see if the daycare can film her doing it with out the kid knowing then you can know,, and yes i would see why your kid does that cause again some hitting is ok but NEVER choking and stabbing weather its fake knife or not what would have happened if she got to a real knife??

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