How can I stop my son being so violent?

Mary - posted on 01/23/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi. Need some advice. My son is 2 years old and soo violent. When he was younger he used to play fight a lot with his daddy so I'm worried he's taken that to heart and thinks its ok. I can't take him to play groups or anything like that because he hits and pushes other children and its so embarrassing! Also I have a 8 month old daughter and even though sometimes he is absolutely lovely to her, lately he has started to hit and smack her as well, or jump on her when she is playing on the floor and hurt her. And he's the worst with me and my partner, his daddy, if we have a go at him for doing something, he gets really violent towards us, starts hitting out etc, its absolutely awful. He will be going to nursery next year and I am dreading it if he carries on like this, don't know what to do :( Please help x


View replies by

Gigi - posted on 01/26/2013




How is his speech? Can he express himself through words? If he can, encourage him to tell you why is he angry and talk to him about it.
As for him being violent towards you when you discipline him, just stop him - gently hold his hands and look at him and tell him "we don't hit, hitting is bad". Then put him in a time out. Time out can be done in many ways depending on a child. If he will trash around on a chair you can put him in his room or in a corner.

The main thing is to be consistent (so, never let hitting go without your reaction) and not to flinch if he tries to hit you - just gently tell him to stop. Same goes at playgroups.

Cecilia - posted on 01/23/2013




First he must learn hitting is bad. Every time he does it he needs a punishment right away. Soon as he does it. I don't care if its the middle of the grocery store punishment has to be followed through with. You can try timeouts it isn't always helpful at the age of two. He will have 2 minutes (one minute per age) Soon as he hits or pushes you pick him up and put him in time out. In the home it should be the same spot, buy a special chair for it if need be. the time starts when he sits still. If he gets up say nothing and put him back. (this part might take 30 minutes the first time) After two minutes you tell him what he did wrong and tell him he needs to say sorry. Then hug him and tell him you love him. Say nothing during the time out. Don't respond to anything.. not i hate you, i love you, mommy i'm sorry.. They will do it all. If you're in the store when he does it, find a spot out of the way a bit for him to sit on the floor. Either that or leave the cart and take him to the car for time out.

Is he hitting out of anger or fun? I think either way maybe get him one of those inflatable punching bags for his room. He can hit that but not people. Make it clear that toys and people are different and that when he hits people it hurts.

No more rough housing with husband either. He might be getting it confused. Most of all do not punish by smacking his butt or hand, you're only teaching him that hitting= power and that it is okay to do.

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