How do i cope, my daughters father died.

Kat - posted on 03/31/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter is 4 and her father passed away a year ago. The pain has not got any easier I think I've just got a little better at masking it, but I'm not the same person and I hate who I am now. I used to find it so easy to have conversations with people, such a people person, now there are times I don't want to leave the house; terrified of seeing anyone I know As I might have to have a 'pointless conversation'. I know it's not 'pointless' but when such massive things have happend I find it impossible to happily participate in mundane chatter. This makes me sound so bad I know, and incredibly grumpy. I wish I could have the zest for life I used to feel. This is a year on now and I just hope this isn't the 'new me' but I don't see how I can find a way out of this - I feel like I can't turn to friends and family because I get so anxious about just having conversions with people now. So I don't know how to make this better.. sorry if this sounded so self absorbed .. I realise I'm lucky to be here and have a beautiful daughter I just want to be back to my old self or at least the best I can be for her future and my own sanity.

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Gabrielle - posted on 04/07/2016

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I don't want this to remotely sound glib. I definitely don't want it to sound that way because I am so so serious. Whether it is a death of a loved one or a death of a dream, we have to FIGHT PAST THE HURT. Just recently I found our family overwhelmed with job loss and previous to the job loss, the loss of income due to less work hours. Trust me at the age of 60/61 that thought is so so scary and every relationship is less important than what I was feeling. I happened to be reading a scripture in the bible that I had read tons and tons and tons of times but this time, I saw something that I had never ever seen before. I read where after Jesus had prayed in teh Garden of Gethsamene he came and found his disciples sleeping and Jesus woke them and asked his disciples why couldn't they watch with him for one hour. It said that they fell asleep because of sorrow. He didn't say " Aw, guys, i know how you feel.e told them to get up and don't cry!!! This was literally my injection of hope. When we lose our way, our loved ones our dreams, it is like losing our breath, like we can't breathe, we can't go on. We have to fight past this and each day is a fight but there is HOPE and crying makes us keep holding the hurt so that we are unable to push past the pain so my encouragement to you is to fight because the fight of faith is a good fight because you win. I will be praying for you because you are so close to your situation that it is like being nearsighted and putting on glasses for farsightedness. Everything is blurry. I have walked in those shoes as I am sure many others have when we are close to a hurting situation. Be blessed!!!

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