How do I stop my 14 month old from hitting?

Kellee - posted on 07/31/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )




My 14 month old son just recently started hitting people and saying "ow". We do not spank him, so I don't know why he started doing this. I started saying "ow" that hurts, please dont hit"...and he laughs! Help!


[deleted account]

My son is also 14mths old and does the same thing. When I say NO or PLEASE DONT he either thinks it's pretty funny or starts crying. We are just trying to be consistent with him and keep telling him NO HITTING and hopefully he will eventually stop as he gets older.


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Hope - posted on 08/06/2009




I have that DVD with Baby Einstein baby first signs. And maybe I will try the more positive words of what you said nice touches, it sounds nicer than no. I use it with her when it comes to petting cats or dogs it wouldn't be any different using it on us when she hits. Although she hasn't hit any animals she's been gentle with them.

Jessica - posted on 08/06/2009




This is a normal stage. Like a person above said just be concistant and firm. Pull them away from the situation. I have put some of my children in their playpen when it's gotten to be too much. For a break for that child and a break for who ever they were hitting or biting.

Kids this age understand they hurt and they think the sun rises and falls for them. They do not understand empathy and they don't understand others have feelings too. They also don't understand right or wrong. So this is all the learning phase of how things work, what is right and what is wrong. They will go through stages where they will test you again and see if they can get away with it again.

Also one more thing to try instead of saying no. Say nice touches and grab their hand and have them pat or rub a person say something positive. Like this is how you show you love someone or something like that. Also have them give you or who they hit kisses and ask them to say sorry. Even if they aren't talking much yet you can still say sorry with them and they will start to pick it up.

ok now I thought of one more thing. If they aren't talking well hitting maybe from frustration. Try teaching them some sign language. This will help them communicate better and feel less frustrated. It also helps their speech along. You sign the words and speak them repeating yourself and they pick up on it well. Baby Einstein has a good DVD and there are many other tools out there for baby sign. I used it with all of my children and it really helped cut down on biting or hitting.

Hope - posted on 08/05/2009




Hmm I wonder why kids start the hitting..cause my daughter was slapping me last night and I kept firmly told her NO and I did not grab her hand very hard but just a slight little squeeze and told her firmly NO HITTING and I just kept saying it til she got the point she didn;t do it anymore. I said it hurts mommy and she gets no cuddles for hitting.

Erin - posted on 08/04/2009




My little 14 month old also thinks its funny when I tell her no hitting. i am also at a loss... if you find a good remedy let me know! i am hoping she just grows out of it. Hang in there!

Candice - posted on 07/31/2009




you have to be firm and consistent. i say NO HITTING and stop her, pull her away from the situation, and if it happens repeatedly i put her on the floor and make it clear that i will not give her attention if she continues that behaviour. keep eye contact while you say it firmly until they break eye contact with you. and do it EVERY TIME.

when they are a bit older, they will be able to understand empathy, and that it hurts when you do it, but they don't have the ability to understand that yet (cognitively). once they do, you can explain that it hurts and that you expect it to stop and expect them to say they are sorry.

it's an age thing, the hitting. it's nothing you did wrong. no one i know raises a hand to my daughter or their kids and all the kids do it. don't feel guilty, just keep trying to reinforce that it's not acceptable.

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