how do I stop my daughter from throwing fits

Tasha - posted on 05/07/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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She decided after some school time that she was going to throw a fit after dropping her pencil on the ground and even when she was completely capable of getting up and getting it she instead threw the hugest fit cause I wasnt going to get it for her....I on the other hand had to fix lunch for my 1year old and was not able to, even if I wanted to! I looking at the time realized it was time for her nap again another fit over something else so I picked her up and she began screaming and kicking me as if I were beating her and grabbed every wall on the way to her room! Any advice on this situation would be great Im at my breaking point and realize any advice at this point would be just wonderful!

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Rhonda - posted on 05/09/2012

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My daughter (who is now 12 years old and super sweet) did the same thing. I tried EVERYTHING that every book had to offer. I felt so defeated and finally I decided to just look the other way or walk out the room she was in. Apparently, it is no fun to scream and kick if noone is watching or reacting to it because after about 3 or 4 more fits, they stopped. I was thinking, gosh, I wish I would have thought of this earlier. *But beware: Our fits could last up to 30 mins and get extremely loud at times! Good Luck and I hope it helps.

Elfrieda - posted on 05/08/2012

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It sounds like she was exhausted from being at school and it being her naptime and hungry and everything. Tantrums happen, little kids just aren't very good at regulating their emotions yet.



In your case, when you realized that it was naptime and she was throwing another fit, I think you did the right thing by picking her up and bringing her to her room. You might just need to refine your carrying technique, that's all! Maybe if you hold her across her middle, with her arms pinned, she will be more manageable. At least she wouldn't be able to hold onto things on the way. I wouldn't worry about her being upset, just stuff her in her room and let her take her nap. Everything will be brighter when she wakes up. :)



Try not to let it upset you, it's her job as a toddler to have tantrums, it's how she's learning about feelings. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It might help both you and her if you identify the emotion she's feeling, like "You are so tired and you don't want to get up and get that pencil. But Mama is making lunch right now, so you can wait until you feel less tired, or you can get the pencil now. Mama's not getting it for you."



And when you're carrying her to her room, you can tell her, "You feel angry! You feel so angry because you're tired. After your nap you will feel better. Sleep well, baby, I love you." and then leave her in the crib or lock the bedroom door and don't feel guilty that she's upset. She's supposed to get upset, that's how she's learning she's a different person than you! :)



Try as hard as you can not to get upset in response, because then you'll (even accidentally) grip her harder when you're carrying her, and she might start being scared as well as mad, and that's just adding fuel to the fire! Also you'll feel better if you can emotionally disengage from her tantrums a bit. It would be silly to react to her tantrums as if it were coming from an adult. If my husband were throwing things and screaming, my blood pressure would shoot through the roof, but when my two-year-old does it, it's more like *sigh*.

Medic - posted on 05/07/2012

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I second Katherine....just pay it no mind. Let her have her fit, she gets no attention, then when she uses appropriate communication praise her.

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