How do you discipline a 5 year old for peeing on themselves due to laziness..watching tv , etc.?

Jessica - posted on 08/05/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




My son is about to begin Kindergarten and he still pees on himself, at times. I read on line that you shouldn't discipline them for it, but that seems ridiculous. The last time he did it was before he got on a 5 hour plane ride and instead of teliing someone he chose not to so he wouldn't get spanked... but he traveled in his own filth and sees nothing wrong with it! I think spankings are ok, but I fear I could traumatize him or something. Please help with any advice. School is about to start!


Kristen - posted on 08/05/2009




i put my two year old in a freezing shower to "wash off" the pee (and poop if required) and told her if she did it again that she would have to take another freezing shower. she hasn't done it since.

Jessica - posted on 08/05/2009




Have you taken him to the doctors? Are you 100% sure he is doing it out of laziness? It can take up to age 12 for the bladder to fully develop. His brain might not be sending those normal signals all the time yet. He maybe very well be having accidents.

Eleanor M - posted on 10/21/2012




Hi Jessica,

First, please make a medical appointment to make sure there is nothing wrong with your son. Children are notorious for bladder infections and you wouldn't really want to keep throwing your son in a cold shower for something he can't control. If he doesn't have a medical condition, you try some other form of discipline than spanking. Because if he is afraid to tell you he has to pee now, he will be afraid to tell you more important things when he gets older because he is afraid of what you will do. Cold showers might work or it might make the wetting move from the daytime to the nighttime - then you add bedwetting to the equation too.

Kids always like something or hate something. Take away favorite things and give him things he likes when he goes to the bathroom. Lastly, don't leave toilet time to him. Turn off the televison periodically and make him go to the bathroom. Make tolieting a must do before you leave the house.

Finally, 5 year olds are starting to realize things like 'private parts' and 'private' activities, like going to the toliet. He could be too embarrassed to tell you he has to go. Open up the lines of communication and try to redirect your mind from punishment mode. If you make him feel comfortable talking to you now with a small embarrassing thing, like going to the toilet, he will reward you by coming to you when his friends try to get him to do something like try drugs later in life.

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Melissa - posted on 08/05/2009




When my oldest went through potty training he did the same thing. I used related consequences such as, no tv all day if he was too busy watching tv to go potty. I know it is hard, but your son also needs constant reminders. Every 30 minutes to an hour. I know that is frequent, but as he has less accidents you can lay off more. He will get sick of you telling him to at least try, if he says he doesn't have to go. Tell him if he went on his own you wouldn't have to make him at least try. Eventually he will start to go on his own, if only to get you to knock it off. I never spanked my kids for accidents, even if they seemed less than accidental. Oh and if he does go on his own give back a privilege you had taken away.

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