How do you handle a 2 year olds Temper?

Amanda - posted on 05/02/2011 ( 58 moms have responded )

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My son just turned 2 April 7th & It seems his temper is getting worse...I don't know what to do...I'm pregnant with my 2nd baby & I would like to get my son's temper calmed down before October...He is always wanting something that he can't have if I won't give it to him he will throw himself down swing his arms every direction kicks his feet screams....He doesn't listen to anything I say I tell him no that doesn't work, I tap his hand that doesn't work, time outs don't work neither...I'm about to lose it....I need help please

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Julianne - posted on 05/02/2011

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pick him up, put him in his room and walk away. dont talk to him until he calms down. if he comes out screaming do the same thing again till he comes out quiet. then put him on your lap and tell him you love him but screaming is not allowed any where but in his room. if he wants to scream he can do it in there but not any where else. i found they stop very quickly when they lose their audience. My middle daughter and youngest son did the exact same thing when they were told no or had to wait for anything. It took about a week of me doing this consistantly but they are both much calmer and kinder. My son just turned 2 in march

Kacey - posted on 05/02/2011

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You should set boundaries for him. Each time he throws a fit or screams at you, let him know that he is going to lose something. Have it be something little like a coloring book or a toy. When you put him in timeout, do not give in to his tantrum. Ignore his bad behavior until he comes around and is being nice. Children need parents to set rules for them.

Alison - posted on 05/09/2011

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Let me share a few things that I have learned:

1 - Your son will change a whole lot between now and October, just worry about today

2 - The times that I have been the most frustrated with my 1st child is when I was overwhelmed with my two children and I "needed" her to cooperate. It is unfair to expect her to act differently than another 2-year-old (or 3-year-old). When I remind myself that I chose to have a second child and not her, the stress is suddenly lifted!

3 - focus on disciplining behaviour that is "unacceptable" (rather than "undesirable). You'll find that a lot of the "undesirables" will go away over time, as long as they are not rewarded.



Take a deep breath: "This too shall pass"

Casey - posted on 05/06/2011

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Amanda I realise your son is only two mine is only two and a half but his been acting up since just before his second birthday and they may not be able to talk to you properly at that age but they do understand alot of what you are telling them and they definately understand your tone, timeouts don't work on my son cause he doesn't sit still long enough and it just makes it worse, yelling at him just makes him yell louder, smacking him just makes him cry more and taking his toys away from him or stopping him from watching his favourite shows just causes a whole new problem, thats why you need to walk away from him and not give him a reaction yeah for the first few times he might scream even more but eventually he'll start to understand that it's just not going to work.
I know your frustrated but everyone is just trying to be helpful and give you suggestions but it seems like you've done everything and tried everything or you think that it's just not going to work for your son.
I don't think trying to get a diagnosis for his problems is going to help cause at 2 years of age his far to young to be diagnosed with anything alot of what you say his doing is very much just normal two year old behaviour you just have to find a way of dealing with his problems that works for both of you but staying calm yourself and being consistent with him is going to be the best solution.
And trust me I know how frustrating it is when you're dealing with their naughty two year old issues and your stressing about having another baby cause I am having my second baby in 3 days time and I am still dealing with dylans crap from time to time but the people who are telling you that it will pass soon are full of crap it doesn't just pass or go away thats why you have to find a way to deal with the issues and stop them from getting out of hand before he gets older and the tantrums get worse.

Jenny - posted on 05/06/2011

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Hi i know what this is like, but try and ignore him when he persists or try the complete opposite and try diverting his attention imediately you feel the temper rising for example when he stats say something like oh look do you know what i just saw outside,come and see and then use your aimagination like oh i saw a little snail sliding up our bath but hes gone can you see him, sounds ludicrous but works for me and then they have forgotten about the temper,the more he gets your attention smacking or not hel do it all the more , good luck hun x

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Demiana Fahmy - posted on 11/27/2012

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hi all i have read all your comments and its really helpful, my son is 22 month old and he is very easy to get bad temper and most of the time it ends up by hurting himself and it lasts for 1 hour and more, however i am asking if this happens outside how to handle i tried to leave him an ga away and telling him that i will leave u here alone and he is not responding and he will increase his bad reaction, rolling up on the floor and finally it ends up by hitting him and shouting and this is not our way at home normally we ignore him but i couldnt do that ioutdoor and i want to controll it before getting worth.

Francesca - posted on 10/07/2011

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Hey I read that you think time outs don't work for you but perhaps like me you were doing them for the wrong reasons. Putting my 2 almost 3 year old now in time out never helped. She would go right back and do it all over again. Use time out for exactly that - Time Out for you and your son. I have found the best form of discipline is ignoring. Not easy to do at all so I just pretend to ignore. Then if it gets to a point where I'm going to explode from not being able to stand it any more, then I put her in her room and tell her not to come out until she is calm. I have to hold the door shut for a few seconds so she gets the message and then go out of the room. If he comes out and is calm, you have achieved your goal. You don't say anything to him after as really you are just using it as a means for you both to calm down. Ignoring really does work but you have to stick at it. It will get worse before it gets better too but keep with it! Good luck!

Danielle - posted on 10/07/2011

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Amanda I feel what your going through. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and 6 mths pregnant. My son has the worse temper in the world and I work at home and my husband works all the time. I to am at my wits end with my son. But time outs work for my son sometimes. I usually have to send him to a corner or his bed and he gets the point. It's very stressful and mentally exhausting. Hang in there hopefully its a stage!

Christine - posted on 10/05/2011

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I know it's hard but when my son throws a temper, I react in a firm tone "We do not talk rude in this family. Talk nice." When things get out of control, I try to avoid the ping pong (back and forth) arguments by immediately placing him in time out on his bed. He is allowed to come out when he's able to talk nice.

Abby - posted on 10/04/2011

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You should push and push as hard as you can to have someone assess him. Try preschools, counselling agencies, other online forums that can connect you to other moms who have already pushed and gotten results. It's for your sanity and your kid's safety. Always call someone before you lose it. Take care.

Brook - posted on 05/09/2011

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my son is the same way. Drives me up the wall any more I just shut him in his room till he is done with his fit. After he is done I get down on his level and tell him that we don't be mean as i call it. If he is mean then he has to stay in bed and doesn't get to play with any toys or play outside. Some days that works really well and others it just doesn't. I hope this helps.

Cara - posted on 05/07/2011

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I am in a very similar situation with my 23 month old son Westin! He is very hot and cold, he will go from happy and playing to screaming and throwing a fit so quick. He slaps and kicks and screams bloody murder and sometimes will end up hurting himself from throwing himself down on a toy, etc. I know how frusterated you feel, I just keep thinking that he will grow out of it. I usually just give him a stern warning once or twice, and if he keeps it up I put him in his room, close the door and walk away. He wil lscream and scream and call MOMMA MOMMA but eventually he will give in and quiet down, and then I just ask if hes done. Sometimes I have to repeat this pattern 3 times ina row before he realizes that hes not coming out of his room until he stops. Its really stressful, but just remember that you aren't alone, there's lots of moms feeling the same way as you, and just be persistent with whatever punishment you decide to do. Good luck!!!

Shannintipton - posted on 05/06/2011

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How do I handle a 2 year olds temper? Not very well. {:+)

Heather - posted on 05/06/2011

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My son decided he was going to start doing this in stores. So I'd just walk away and let him throw his fit. (A safe, visable distance) Your son understands theres a new baby coming and is realizing he cant have all of your attention so he's rebelling. But by just walking away, its showing him that his behavior is not acceptable. Don;t even say anything other than " when you are done, get up and stand by me" (or go play, or go to your room, or whatever).

Trinity - posted on 05/06/2011

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i have 2yr. old twin boys, and let me tell you, i get a lot of temper tantrums a day! The best thing i can tell you is, unless they are hurting themselves while throwing a fit, just ignore him. I will completly walk into the other room, where i can still see him, and show him that I am not paying any attention at all. This usually helps me. Good luck!

Carly - posted on 05/06/2011

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I'm in the same boat as you. I hate to say it, but we gotta ride it out. They don't call it the terrible twos for nothing. It really really really is terrible. I go off and cry sometimes (especially like the time I got hit in the eye with a "Weeble", I cried more out of frustration than pain)
Smacking doesn't work because then he thinks it ok to hit since we do, so we gave up on that. Good luck with trying to get him to sit in time out, you might as well sit ON him if you want him to stay. My son is the same way about toys, he doesn't have a favorite or one he really cares about and no security object either.
I read in a magazine that at this age they are just testing you, every moment of every day, testing you and usually will decide that whatever it is that they want to do, they'll do it because to them, it's worth the punishment. It's not necessarily ADHD or anything (does your boy sleep? mine sleeps like a rock, solid 11-13 hrs a night, ADHD kids don't sleep like that) he's just excited. about everything. all the time LOL
I also agree with the poster who said they are smarter than we think they are. I have recently found that explaining a situation, like the air conditioner, he freaked to see it in his window and carried on to my husband for about an hour, but once I explained what it was, he was ok with it and went to sleep. I'll make him compromises like, we'll go outside later if you clean up your toys and let me tell you, he holds me to it.
I am super frustrated too, but we'll get through it. Just try to stay calm and if you have any family/friends offering to watch him- even if its for a few hours here and there- take the offer!!! keep yourself sane! it's ok for you to need a time out too :)

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2011

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Not recently but I have they just sent me a play therapist which didn't help none I just moved to a different town in January so I have found anybody here to even help they just said it sounds like a normal 2 year

Jessica - posted on 05/06/2011

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Have you considered talking about your son's behavior with his pediatrician?

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2011

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Thanks Jessica...Ever since I got pregnant it's so frustrating cause I am so tired & Also it seems that his temper has gotten worse he has kicked me in my stomach he has head butted me in my stomach & he's never done that before till now...I don't know what it is but I want to get him calmed down before the new baby comes

Jessica - posted on 05/06/2011

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You have to handle it with humor. Just walk away when he is having a tantrum, and once we calms down, then try speaking to him calmly. My son is two and my baby girl is due October 7th. If you show your son that he cannot get a rise out of you, we will stop. It has worked for me. Also, now might be a good time to introduce time out. NOT when he is kicking however, *gotta protect our baby bumps!* If he is kicking just leave him where he is, if he isn't, then plop his hiney on the couch and sternly say "time out!" and walk away. Do not acknowledge him for two minutes. After, walk up to him and say, "ok, let's play", or something to that respect. Another idea, have you tried distracting him? "Mommy, Cookie?" If its close to dinner or something try saying "After dinner baby, let's play with your fire truck! Vrooom Vroom!" Hope this helps!!! Congrats on your new baby, and good luck! ♥

Karli - posted on 05/06/2011

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Hi Amanda, it is a slow process but it will be worth it I promise. As far as your son not sharing or being mean because his cousin has touched his toys, you are in the completely normal zone. My kids are 2 and 4. Children do not develop a sense of sharing until they are about 2 yrs old but my daughter turned 2 in Feb, and she still claims that everything is hers and she has total meltdowns when someone has something that she wants. Even the neighbours kids toys apparently belong to her. My 4 yr old has very recently decided that sharing is a good way to fun with other children so I would not stress too much about the sharing thing. If he is mean and hurts his cousin then by all means I would use a time-out, but the key is to not be angry at him when you put him there even though you could be raging inside. It is a simple thing as gettinhg down to his level, tell him that the rule of your house is no hitting and he may have a time out. Then walk away, count to 10, or 1000, a few deep breaths. when you have calmed down enough. Talk to him, tell him that you understand that he got mad about his cousin playing with his toys and it's okay to be mad but not okay to hit or push etc. and that in your house we share. Done. It will take time time but he will learn it fast. Don't underestimate what he understands. He may not have the verbal skills but he does know what you are saying. You'll also probably feel good too simply because you did not lose it. I know that on days that I lose it on them I feel like crap! On the days that I can take a step back and teach them I feel so good about my parenting skills, I think you might too.

Jessica - posted on 05/06/2011

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(quote)Everybody else's kids might now how to do all this stuff but mine doesn't....My son is not gonna tell me what he's feeling or tell me what's wrong...He can only say certain words...When he is throwing his tantrum he's not gonna stop & listen to me if i tell him i am gonna take his toy away...My son just turned 2 April 7th it ain't like he's almost 3 where he should be able to understand more...How old is all your guys kids anyways they sound like there older than 2...My son does understand time outs I will put him in there & let him up in 2 minutes but once he gets up he'll play with his toys than he's off to do what he got in trouble for in the first place (quote)


My son was like that too. Can you imagine the frustration he is feeling not being able to speak and tell you how he feels? My son used to bite because of that. Try teaching him sign language it actually helps their speech develop and will keep both of you more sane in the meantime! You can get the baby Einstein video to start off with and there are websites as well to help teach you some simple things. You will be surprised at how much this will help cut the tantrums down. And one thing to remember even with his limited speech he can still understand far more then you think. So sitting down with him when he is calm and talking with him about controlling his temper and how you expect him to act will and does help. Also be consistent with how ever you decided to handle him and he will catch on. Good luck and I hope you find something that works for both of you.

Jessica - posted on 05/06/2011

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I'm not sure what kind of things he is asking for but when my daughter asks for something at the store or something like that I always tell her I will think about it. I think the word no sets off a lot of temper tantrums and I try not use it often. There are still times when it needs to be send but I find when they are always being told no it just brings them down. As far as things in the house she can't have I try redirection and show her the things she can have. And when she is throwing an uncontrollable fit I walk a way and tell her I will talk to her when she is down, or sometimes it's a sure sign someone NEEDs a nap and cuddle times with mom. I've done this with all 4 of my kidos and it seems to work for our family.

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2011

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I will try it karli..Something has to work...My son is a very stubborn boy...Just like I have my Niece for a couple of days she is 9 Months younger than my son & he is mean to her badly he pushes her he doesn't want her to play with none of his toys he hits her he does everything he possibly can...People has told me it's cause everything in here is his & he's the only child...I'm trying to teach him to share as well but don't really know how to if he refuses to listen

Elise - posted on 05/05/2011

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I haven't read half the posts so I don't know if anyone has mentioned this but I found with my daughter, who is 2 1/2, that sticking to one way of 'punishment' instead of swapping and changing what the consiquences are helps. So maybe you should pick one way of doing it and stick to it. We do time outs and that works for her. She now knows what happens when she is naughty and all I have to do is mention time outs and she stops what she is doing. Doing things one way works really well. Having a routine of sorts so she knows what to expect during each day stops alot of tantrums too. We don't stick to anything strict just have meals, bath, outside time, etc at the same time everyday. Good luck with it all and just know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Karli - posted on 05/05/2011

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Hi Amanda, I hear your frustration when I read your posts. I started to teach my son about the things that he was feeling and about all of the emotions and they felt inside his body. It did not happen over night. My son is now 4 and he has been telling me over the last 6-8 months that he is beginning to get angry or frustrated or upset or sad but only because I have taught him what those feelings are. Children are not born knowing what feelings and emotions are. They need to be taught just like ABC'S and 123's. If he is in the middle of a complete tantrum, you are right he won't hear a word you say but if you just sit by him and describe the emotion he is feeling he will learn it. I'm not saying to eliminate time-outs, if he breaks one of the rules of your house, calmly place him in time-out. If he hits you with a toy, the toy is gone... but if you want to actually change his behaviour then you need to teach him how to behave correctly. Time-outs are a punishment because they happen after the fact. Talking to him about why he did what he did and how he should do it next time is teaching him. I did not get a full on conversation at 2 yrs old. I got a lot of nods and smiles and sometimes whining at me as he pulled to go and play. I understood that every time I talked about his feelings was a tiny little victory. 1 day at a time and my payoffs are just barely beginning. I know in my heart that in a couple of more years he is going to be able to come to me and talk about emotionally things and stuff that hurts his feelings. I also know that he will be full aware of others' feelings as well. What a great bond to have with your son? Don't just right it off so quick try it once a day, if he cries just say oh you look so sad, why are you sad? He may not answer but he will have a name for what he is feeling.

Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2011

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My sone is almost two and a half. Ur son may not be able to communicate that well yet but they do understand what they r doing is wrong. If he goes back to his toys and doing what he did befor then the toys need to be put away. Out of sight. If it means taking everything away so be it. I have totally cleaned out my sons room and taken away his favouite toy he has to sleep. It may take a bit and u need to stay strong but the point will get across. Be as persistant as him. It will pay off.

Sondra - posted on 05/05/2011

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What worked for me , this might sound crazy, but i would throw myself on the floor and do the same as my kid was doing. She hated it!! If you dont think you can do it have your husband do it! It worked for me but every kid is different my youngest is almost 2 and has yet to have a bad attitude! She wasnt even a year old when my daughter turned two and saw me do that she didnt like it. Now my daughter just crosses her arms and walks off. Its worht a try!!

Amanda - posted on 05/05/2011

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Everybody else's kids might now how to do all this stuff but mine doesn't....My son is not gonna tell me what he's feeling or tell me what's wrong...He can only say certain words...When he is throwing his tantrum he's not gonna stop & listen to me if i tell him i am gonna take his toy away...My son just turned 2 April 7th it ain't like he's almost 3 where he should be able to understand more...How old is all your guys kids anyways they sound like there older than 2...My son does understand time outs I will put him in there & let him up in 2 minutes but once he gets up he'll play with his toys than he's off to do what he got in trouble for in the first place

Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2011

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I know this may sound weird or even harsh but try grounding him from the things he likes. My son loves watching his favourite movies in the car but when he throws a trantrum he looses that. We then talk it out and i let him know why and make sure he understands. He will ask the next day mommy can i watch a movie an i will say no and then ask him do u know why mommy said know and he will give me the reason from the previous day. I dont give in, i make him go a few days with out it. He has learned and has on and off days but thats the terrible twos for you. Also stick with ur punishment. My son learned quick i was making empty threats. Once i started following through with them it was a whole new story.

Casey - posted on 05/05/2011

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My son has similar temper tantrums too and his two and a half and honestly at this age you can't reason with them and all they are really looking for is a response from you so don't give them one, if he asks for something and you don't want him to have it then just say no and keep on walking if he screams ignore him if he throws himself on the ground then let him the less reaction he gets from you the more he is going to realise that playing up is not going to get him very far. I know it's hard when your out in public and your kid is throwing a fit on the floor but if anyone looks at you just smile and keep walking because at some stage of their lives they were kids themselves and most will at some point in their lives experience their own child throwing a tantrum so don't worry about the looks.
Once your son is over his hissy fit get down to his eye level and explain to him that by behaving that way he will not get what he wants and that it is not acceptable to behave that way, have him apoligise and then give him a hug and leave it at that it's best not to harp on negative things but just reward him and praise him when he does behave nicely and eventually he'll get the drift that good things happen when you have good behaviour. Goodluck and hang in there ;)

Jennifer - posted on 05/04/2011

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I just find with our girl,if she is yelling , hitting,etc. I send her to her room ,until she calms down, then she may come out. Is he still in a crib, if so even a little calming down time without any toys may help. but encouraging him to use his words will workout in the future.

Jennifer - posted on 05/04/2011

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OK, I said ignore the temper tantrum, not ignore the child. Giving your child attention while they're throwing a fit, or putting words to their emotions is not going to do a thing if they can't hear you above their screaming. When they're crying or screaming, as loud as it sounds to you, it's even louder in their own heads because it's coming from them. And often times the reason why they're throwing a fit in the first place is because they either couldn't get their own way or they're not listening to you in the first place, so why would they stop their fit TO listen to you? Once the fit is through and has stopped I would try to talk to them THEN, but NOT while they're having a fit. Ignoring their tantrum is what works best because then they learn that doing so doesn't give them the attention (or toy back, whatever else) that they are seeking. It seems to me that many of these moms agree.

Yeah, I really hope that you get some sort of thing to counteract that? I cannot imagine :( Oh, and yes, I hope my older daughter doesn't get to be bi polar because apparently her father was and she is such a happy and out going child! (:

Meagan - posted on 05/04/2011

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my son has gotten his temper from my husband, he is two and a half and thinks the world revolves around him,lol most of the time it does; but when he does throw a tantrum i put him in his room and he has to staythere until he is done at first he started to inch his way out of his room screaming at the top of his lungs but i just kept putting him back in his room, now he stays in his room until he is done with his fit and then he calmly walks out

Amanda - posted on 05/04/2011

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Thanks Jennifer I have been on Depression Medicine since I was 17..I quit taking the medicine but wants my son was born I decided to get back on it because of him is why...Since I have Depression I hope my son doesn't end up with it...My son is a happy little boy but has a bad temper if something doesn't go his way just like if he can't get his toy to do something he will get really mad

Karli - posted on 05/04/2011

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Amanda, you've already put so many negative labels on your son..ADHD..ODD. It sounds to me like he is a very spirited boy who is very independent. When he has a temper tantrum you need to keep in mind that he has no idea why he is acting the way he is. It is almost as if they get hijacked by their emotions. He is spirited because he feels things so intensely, like over the top. He just needs to learn what he is feeling and how to tell you what he is feeling. It takes time but I promise you it is worth it. Ignoring a child's emotions by shutting him in a room is sad. You posted this thread asking for help and how would you feel if everyone answered you by saying "stop crying or whining" Go away, I don't want to hear it" Or saying nothing at all, no responses. How would you feel? Alone? Sad? Hurt? Like nobody cares? That is how our children feel when we just ignore them or threaten them. They need to learn how to cope with the intensity of their emotions, you need to stay calm and use words to help him deal with what he is feeling. Google spirited children and see if he fits the mould.

Victoria - posted on 05/04/2011

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Oh, and my oldest did not get jealous at all over his little brother. Not all kids do. Just have him help out with the little one as much as you can - get him to fetch you items that your baby needs, and give him lots of praise when he does good things. The only thing my oldest learned was that when I was breastfeeding I couldn't get up to stop him from doing things right away, but I managed to squash him from taking advantage of that!

Victoria - posted on 05/04/2011

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That is so normal! I would simply ignore the tantrum as he is throwing it. Kids really hate it when they are trying to get your attention, and it is not working. Then when you feel you need to discipline, I would put him in the naughty corner for 2 minutes (a minute for the child's age). I have read that it is not good to call a child naughty, etc, but I think that is a load of crap. With my 1.5 year old, the naughty corner works great. After 2 minutes, then explain to him why he iwas in there, and try to get him to apologize, or at least understand what the rules are.

At this age, they are testing their boundaries - you can never give in because they will never learn! Consistency is the key.

Deepti - posted on 05/03/2011

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his terrible twos are even more terrible because u r no longer in position to play and participate with his as u used to do.. u must be having ur health issues and constraints.
but u can surely find other ways to engage his attention like story telling time, playing cards or blocks or just scribbling and coloring will also help.
u need to prepare ur child for the second child as the younger one will demand more attention. kindly visit this useful link:http://perspectiveofdeepti.blogspot.com/...

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011

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I honestly don't think much will prepare a child for another sibling. My older daughter was so much more well behaved before the second one was born and after that she started acting up more. She's getting better about it now, especially since she is able to express herself more. But not a whole lot will help children so close in age from being jealous of the younger one getting so much attention because they need it and taking attention away from them.

Deepti - posted on 05/03/2011

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his terrible twos are even more terrible because u r no longer in position to play and participate with his as u used to do.. u must be having ur health issues and constraints.
but u can surely find other ways to engage his attention like stiry telling time, playing cards or blocks or just scribbling and coloring will also help.
u need to prepare ur child for the second child as the younger one will demand more attention. kindly visit this useful link:http://perspectiveofdeepti.blogspot.com/...

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011

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You were on depression medicine? I'm sorry to hear that ): Believe me, there's days that I wanted to pull my hair out lol actually I still have those days every now and then, but I think it is getting better. Keep your head above the water and persevere because it pays off (: And giving your child a name to the emotions he's feeling, etc. is good, too, as Karli suggested....

Karli - posted on 05/03/2011

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Hello,
Try naming his emotion to him, when he falls to the ground say something like "Wow you must be pretty upset and angry that Mommy won't let you have that huh? Or "You look very mad, can you tell me why you are so upset" Stay very calm and wait for him to respond. If he continues tell him that when he is ready to tell you why he is so upset he knows where to find you and go about your business. When he calms down talk to him about what he was feeling, how his body felt, give him the words he needs to explain it. Then calmly explain to him why he can't have it, I.E it's dangerous, not his, too late..etc. then offer him a choice of something else, he can have. If you give him a choice then he is happy because he is in control. I have a 4 yr old and this brings back some memories. The word no doesn't work, instead of no tell him what he can have/do. Something like "we can't have that right now but we can do this or this instead, what would you like to do. Stop tapping his hand or when you new baby does something that he disapproves of, he will tap her hand which is usually a whack. The trick is to stay calm, tell yourself that he is just expressing emotion he does not have words for yet and I need to teach him those words. I hope it helps.

Nichole - posted on 05/03/2011

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my daughter is 19 months and she already hit the terrible 2s...she does the same.....i took her fav toy and showed her that i was putting it away and told her it was going away calmly....if u yell or scream at them they wont listen...put them in a area where they have no toys etc and let them be there for a bit

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011

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Yes, a lot of toddlers listen initially, but then don't. Just about every child I know tests the limits of their parents. It's a general rule. And there are some kids with really bad tempers that don't have those special circumstances, but, you won't know if he does until he turns 5 I guess....

Amanda - posted on 05/03/2011

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Jennifer Thanks for you help I'll try it but with my son it's not easy...I'm Pregnant with my 2nd baby & since I'm off my depression medicine & anxiety medicine I can't handle half the stuff I did while I was on them...It frustrated me bad

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011

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Continue to ignore it! It probably escalated the tantrum because he wasn't holding your attention or he figures he'll make it louder for you to hear even if you aren't by him. Just ignore it until he stops and keep doing so and see if he has thhem less.

Amanda - posted on 05/03/2011

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Jennifer I had a therapist appointment 1 day & I asked him if I could get him tested for those & he said that they don't test kids till there 5 which my sister tested my nephew at 2 1/2 he acted the same way as my son & he has adhd & ODD and with those 2 together it's a lot worse...I've looked up signs of adhd on toddlers and he has the symptoms of it...He has a really I mean a really bad temper...He has changed actually after he had the MMR shots done when he was 15 months he use to listen but after that nope he refused he became more hyper and defient

Allana - posted on 05/03/2011

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what do with my 2 year old is when she throws a temper, i walk out of the room and pretend not to listen... she stops quickly after that... let him see that its not going to change your mind... hell give up quickly

Michelle - posted on 05/03/2011

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my daughter does the same thing and for the most part we just ignore her, if she starts to get out of hand I ask her if she is done yet and 95 percent of the time she stops to think about it and then stops her tantrum

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011

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Well, if you have concerns of these possibilities, you should have him tested....it is also possible that he's as stubborn as my 19 month old lol, BUT definitely get him tested if you think so!
Yes, I'm sure he knows what those things mean. If I give back a toy to my 19 month old and she hits me again with it (and she has done this to me) I take it away from her all together and put it up and she starts crying and I tell her that I told her not to hit and she hit mommy again so she lost the priviledge of that toy (yes, I really do speak to my child this way lol but it's because it's how I talk....). This has happened every now and again, always the same consequence.
And it is pretty usual for a 2 year old not to want to just sit there and listen, at least I think so. They're pretty active at that age....
OH, and children LOVE to test the boundaries of their parents, too--it's like it's their given right lol. So, even though they know what no means and knows what don't hit means doesn't mean they're not going to do it or they're going to listen. Unfortunately these are things they learn they have to follow, they don't just follow them because they know what it means. How I wish raising children were that simple lol (;

Amanda - posted on 05/03/2011

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He loves his riding toys more than anything...His grandma got him a coupe car last summer & he loves it more than anything he has...I know my son is smart but he won't sit there & listen when I try to talk to him yea he will repeat words quickly when he hears them but that's about it...he only pays attention when he wants to...I think he might have a slight chance of having ADHD...If he hits me with a toy I will take it away right than & I will say you do not hit after awhile i will give it back & he does it all over again he doesn't learn that's the part I don't get is he knows what NO means he knows what don't hit means he knows what things mean he refuses to do them...My sister mentioned he might have ODD cause he doesn't like authority

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2011

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Kids are a lot smarter than we often give them credit for, which is probably our biggest fault lol when it comes to them. He understands more than you think. And they always understand a hell of a lot more than they can say. If my children fight over a toy and I tell them that if they don't share it's going to go up, my 5 year old knows right off the bat what that means....my 19 1/2 month old has seen the consequence and throws a fit about it and I remind her, "Well, next time don't fight over the toy and I won't take it away." They learn very quickly what things mean. He may just surprise you. Then again, if he's not that attatched to any toy it makes it slightly more difficult.

Amanda - posted on 05/03/2011

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Conney my son just turned 2 April 7th I don't think he would quite understand me taking away his toys...Heck he barely plays with half of them as it is he would rather get into stuff he's not suppose to get into

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