how long does your child's tantrums last?

Jennifer - posted on 08/29/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My children seem to tantrum for a long time. My oldest used to tantrum for 2 hours at a time. He seemed to finally out grow the tantrum phase in the last 6 months, and now only rarely flips out. He's almost 4 now. He still can tantrum about 20 min, but he will become reasonable towards the end.

My youngest is 26 months and his tantrums last about an hour. Once he gets going, nothing gets through to him. Time out chair? Wish I could make him stay in it. Can't ignore him very long when he runs out as soon as you put him in it. We've tried shutting the door on him or myself for 4-5 min at a time. No matter what we try, it takes about an hour for it to be over.

I want to know how usual / unusual my experience is. How long do everyone else's children tantrum?

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Sarah - posted on 09/08/2013

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Well, That is EXACTLY what I do Leanna and my daughter has been sleeping GREAT ever since she was born NO issues WHAT SO EVER! She also does GREAT with separation.

Leanna - posted on 09/08/2013

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Put them in the crib and shut the door, NO WAY! They will not go to bed at night if you do that, bedtime will become a battle and separation anxiety will set in.

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2013

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It will take more then one night of doing it for it to get shorter. Mine tantrum for 10 mins.

Jennifer - posted on 08/30/2013

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I asked for info on how long people's children tantrum, not for a lecture on how I'm parenting incorrectly. Just as an experiment, I decided to follow the ignore your child advice tonight. As I thought, it didn't help. Instead of an hour tantrum, it was an hour and 40 min tantrum. So, I'd just really like to know how long other children tantrum.

Sarah - posted on 08/29/2013

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Try putting the 26 month old in his crib when he tantrums. Then shut the door behind you. Let him cry for as long as he wants.....but DO NOT come back in UNTIL he is DONE crying. It sounds like you are paying too much attention to the crying and trying to reason with them to get them to stop. That only makes things worse and longer. If they realize that when they cry (tantrum) they are not going to get attention it will not last very long. I had a friend that once said it is amazing how short a crying spell can be when they realize no one is listening. That is SO true! If they think you are listening it only goes longer and louder.

Zirallan - posted on 08/29/2013

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Our oldest wouldn't dream of throwing a tantrum. She can put on a good sulk but tantrums are out of the question.

Our 1 year old might tantrum for 5 or 10 minutes. It is always met with a swift result of being plopped in her crib with her bedroom door shut until she calms down.

The more attention you give the tantrum, the longer it will go on and the more they'll be inclined to do it. When they tantrum put them in their rooms and tell them they can come out when they are calm and ready to talk about whatever their throwing fits over. If they come out, return them to their rooms and shut the door again until they're calm. Keep doing it for as long as it takes for them to get the point that this is no longer acceptable behaviour. Don't even talk to them except to tell them they have to stay in their rooms to calm down if they come out. Be consistent with it and you'll eventually see the length of the tantrum decreasing as well as the frequency of the tantrums.

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