how to get him to stop breastfeeding

[deleted account] ( 28 moms have responded )

My son is 13 months old and though it is sometimes more convenient and I love doing it, I need to get him off. He doe not sleep through the night and does not take well to sippy cup(or bottle since he never took one). It's that I can't go out as often or leave him for longer than a few hours since he needs the milk

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Beth - posted on 07/15/2009

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really at this point it's more of a comfort thing. my daughter was 3 when i stopped. it was so hard to stop. but if u dont now, then it will be awhile before you can. if he is not sleeping through the night it is most likely not b/c he is hungry, but b/c he is looking for you and for his comfort item. ur ninny!! lol

i didnt listen to my sister, a mother of 6, when she said "if you dont stop by 1 1/2 you'll never stop!". boy was she right.

does he just nurse at bed time yet. if not, then start reducing how often and when u nurse him. cut back the day feedings. something funny my sister has done, put a bandaid across the top of your nipple. so he doesnt like it. be sure it sticks well. dont want it to come off while he's trying to nurse. also, try having him spend the night away from you. you'd be surpirsed just how well they can sleep through the night when mommy isnt around! lol. i learned this when i had a hospital stay for 3 days. my husband had no problems with her sleeping the whole nite.

and at 13 months, it's really great you still nurse!! but he doesnt need to nurse. my daughter never took a bottle either. your in for a tough ride.

on the other hand, one of my nephews weined himself at 15 months.

i'd increase his foods. pump for a bit until ur comfy with giving him whole milk. put it in a cup and he can have it that way. please let me know how it goes!! good luck!

Aislynn - posted on 07/12/2009

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have you been exclusively breastfeeding him? no baby food or anything?

i didn't introduce my oldest son to solids until sometime after 9 mos.. and boy did I regret it. He had been exclusively breastfed until I found out I was pregnant again. Weening him was hard work, he wouldn't eat anything he was supposed to. If it was something that wasn't supposed to go in his mouth, it did. If it was food, he wasn't interested. I can't remember how we did it exactly, but it took a lot of repeated offerings and just all out stubbornness.

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Cleaver - posted on 07/18/2012

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i nursed mine until he was a year and a half and at that point it was bed times only one night i decided i was done its been almost half a year and he goes to nurse still but doesnt actually remember what hes supposed to do after

[deleted account]

I didn't fully wean my two boys until roughly 18 months old. We nursed just morning and night. But, I gave them a cup very young. At this age....even though the drs might not like it (HA HA) I put a little ovaltine in milk and then warmed it up. My boys are 2 1/2 and 8 1/2 and they still drink it like that! It will make the cup easier!

Nicole - posted on 07/15/2009

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I had a very similar problem with my son. I started trying to wean him to formula from about 6 months, with no success. I even went as far as trying him on diluted cows milk very young, increasing his solid food intake and even went as far as full cows milk because his older sister would share with him. Nothing worked and by 14 months I was getting a little bit fed up. Finally, one of my friends who was still feeding her 2 year old offered a wonderful solution that I had never heard of.... hone & salt! Just put a small amount of honey on your nipples and sprinkle salt on them. Offer your son his feed as normal, and I am almost 100% sure that he will never ask for a boob again. it worked for my girlfriend and myself after 1 try!

Deanne - posted on 07/15/2009

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My sister is going through this at the moment. Her son is 18 months & is still on her boob. Funnily, my sister also was breastfed until she was 2 years & I remember my mum putting coffee or that stuff nail biters use that tastes awful to try & get her to not want the boob anymore.
It's hard for you but also hard for bub to adjust, trying to get the same comfort is just not possible! But it can be done. I wish you good luck!
(I was devastated my girl self-weaned at 10 months!)

Christina - posted on 07/15/2009

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The midnight ones are so hard to stop. My daughter slept in my bed for her first year, but when I moved her to her crib, midnight feedings were no more. I did it incredibly gradually: the sleep and breastfeeding changes. I can completely relate to feeling more traumatized by it than your child. They have learned everything they know in such a short time, so changing routines are easier now than ever. But now, she sleeps in her bed peacefully and no longer nurses. Being firm and consistent helps tremendously.

[deleted account]

I had a heck of a time getting my daughter to take to a bottle or cups. So, I gave up and then, tried again with success with the Nuby clear soft top sippy cups. They're sold in twos at Target or singles at Walmart. My aunt recommended these to me. After watching me go through every other brand. Now, my daughter is using a Spongebob Munchkin hard spout, but that's because she really likes "Bob-Bob".

[deleted account]

Hi, Ashley! My entry will not be very helpful to you, but your q & a session was helpful for me. So, thank you!!



My daughter is 19 mo and is still nursing and not sleeping through the night. Some days and nights are better than others, as you know. I still have problems with leaving her, but I think that it's more from separation anxiety. She deals better when there is lots of activity around the house. I've toyed with cold turkey, but I haven't had the strength to resist the tears. I'm beginning to think that I'm going to be more traumatized than that she is.



My daughter is only nursing for sleeping time routines (but there are times that I get duped lol). And I have found that if someone other than me puts her to sleep she'll go with/out a cup. I just have to figure out the mid-night feedings though...



Well, thank you for letting me share.

Christina - posted on 07/15/2009

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I stopped nursing my daughter about 2-3 months ago, when she was 1 &1/2. It was a very gradual process for us. She also never took a bottle or had formula, nor did she care for pacifiers. I stopped nursing her so frequently during the day as she was eating solids well. Then I was down to night-time, morning and naptime. At first, I tried to cut the naptime, but it was difficult trying to get her to sleep and I have things to do while she naps, so out of convenience, I would nurse her to sleep for her nap. So, I switched to stopping night-time by rocking her and snuggling her so the switch wasn't completely traumatizing. After just a few days, she knew she wasn't going to nurse at bed-time and she went to bed peacefully and stayed asleep. Over a few weeks, I stopped all together, and replaced nursing with snuggling ( I would have a sippy cup of whole milk available, though she never nursed it while sleeping.) Now that my little girl is almost 2, she has become more independent and it is great for me, personally, to not be needed so desperately. My daughter, husband and myself have been sleeping better. It's difficult at first, but babies can be quick to adapt, and it is so worth it! Good Luck!

Cheri - posted on 07/15/2009

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I have three boys and they are 6, 5, and 4 now. Oh yeah and they were planned because, I get this question a lot. I breastfeed them all till a year old. Which the doctors said you can't breastfeed and be prego at the same time. I think he was amazed. It was tuff at some time holding the baby above my growing belly but, the I just layed down in bed with him. Plus I think there was some sort of bonding between brothers because, when he layed on my tummy my unborn baby would kick the crap out of my big boy. Now to weening him off I put whole milk in a sippy cup and he threw it at me several times and cried. I just held in there and didn't give up I gave him the chioce of water or mik during the day when he got thirsty he got the cup and used it. As for nighttime I called in Daddy and he would read or talk to him or just lay there until he just went to sleep. Which ended up giving them a strong bond and me time to a much needed sleep. Food we just gave him finger foods or cut things up into bite size. He picked it up fast because, he watched me make dinner and he ate what we ate most of the time. The key to it is patience and I think when I look back that it was maybe more me then him not giving up breastfeeding. I would think we have such a strong bond and now we won't but, my boys still are very close and we find such fun finding other things to be close and do together. Hope this helps and good luck for a several stressful nights which will be over soon enough.

Clare - posted on 07/14/2009

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My son is 2 next week and I have only just managed to stop feeding him. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I tried all suggestions such as offering more food, offering milk from a cup/bottle etc.etc. My health visitor had been telling me for months to just stop- cold turkey, I didn't want to do this, but in the end I bit the bullet and just put him in his cot and said milk is all gone. Yes he cried and screamed for half an hour but then fell asleep!-not nearly as bad as I thought it would be! It's been 3 weeks nw and he still sticks his hand down my top and throws a tantrum at any opportuniy but I feel so much freer. This option is difficult and was my last resort, but it's worked.

Brandy - posted on 07/13/2009

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I just weaned my daughter at 20 months and I work full time. Definitely picked up solid foods more during the day (much more often than when she just ate baby food) and milk. Had a hard time switching her to milk in a cup also, but we just kept plugging away. However, when I stopped nursing her as much in the evening, she started sleeping better. She learned that she had to eat/drink something and those things were more filling and she started sleeping MUCH better (She would still wake up every 3-4 hours). Sometimes it takes time for them to adjust and its okay to give in every once in a while... like if he has a bad day and you KNOW he hasn't eaten/drank as much milk as much as you'd like, go ahead and nurse. We slowly weaned to an early feeding (I actually had to wake her up to feed her before I left for work!) and a night time feeding before she went to bed. She would sleep for 12+ hours a night, uninterrupted at that time! Since I had to wake her up to feed her in the morning, we cut that one next and it was a breeze. She woke up a little earlier (30 minutes to an hour), but no big deal. After I weaned her off nighttime feeding, she went right back to sleeping in every day. She now sleeps from 9-9 every day! One thing that I found helps with weaning is to do it at a busy time. I don't think my child is unique in that being busy and having visitors and doing other things distract her and she didn't even realize mommy was skipping her nursing time. I would of course, give her a cup of milk as she was playing/visiting/etc (and sometimes I would also have to remind her to drink it - "where's your cup? take a drink!"). That worked for me with the pacifier and nursing. In the month since I've weaned her, she's only tried twice for "mama milk" and didn't really fuss when I explained she was a big girl and drinks her milk from a cup now. Right back to playing!



A couple other thoughts after looking at some other things... even though he's never liked BM any other way, you might try pumping and giving it to him in a cup. It might surprise him into taking a cup (that was a struggle for us) and then you can switch him to whole milk.



I have NEVER given her anything at night to take to bed. I honestly think it would just be substituting one thing for the other and another battle to fight later on.



Good luck! You just have to find out what works for your kiddo! I always felt awful when I figured out she truly wasn't getting enough food/BM/milk. It's the worst when they just can't tell you what they want! Just use your common sense - you know your baby better than anyone else!

Lupita - posted on 07/13/2009

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thats very weird....mommy is the essential part of a babys life so...i think that was a very bad thing to do...sorry if u get offended bkuz of my comment but first time parents should be more careful by asking for advices from other parents.

[deleted account]

Quoting Wyatt:

My girlfriend and I stopped our son by moving my girlfriend out the house for 1 week and he leanred that he can deal w/o it. It takes some crying and screaming, but its worth it. Im a dad by the way. lol



And you are on Circle of MOMS why? ;)



Your toddler son was w/out his Mommy for an entire week?  I couldn't imagine.  That sounds so traumatic to me. :(  Then again, my 7.5 year olds have never been away from me for longer than 5 days....

Wyatt - posted on 07/13/2009

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My girlfriend and I stopped our son by moving my girlfriend out the house for 1 week and he leanred that he can deal w/o it. It takes some crying and screaming, but its worth it. Im a dad by the way. lol

[deleted account]

My 15 month old son still nurses all the time during the day and usually twice at night. I try to not let him nurse more than that even if he wakes up. His sisters didn't start sleeping through the night til I started weaning them at 13 months, but I'm trying to let him self wean. I may not last that long, but we will see. Other than not sleeping I really don't have any reason to wean him and I really don't sleep well anyway, so....



I don't really have any helpful advice. I haven't been alone in 15 months cuz my son totally freaks out if I even just leave the room.

Melanie - posted on 07/13/2009

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I have a 13 month son that I am still breastfeeding as well. However, we are down to nursing in the morning when he gets up (between 6-7am) and in the evening before his bath (usually around 6:45ish). I started working on weaning him a little before11 months. I worked on nightweaning first around 10.5 to 11 months. Nothing was working until 1 night I moved his nursing to before his bath (around 1 hr after I give him dinner). He was confused the first night or so, but nursed and then had his bath, lotion, pjs, book and song while rocking with Mommy. Then into his bed and he STTN. He had only slept through the night a handful of times previously. Anyhow, after 3 nights of doing this it became our new routine and if he wakes at night now, we do offer a sippy of water if he doesn't go back to sleep, sometimes he takes a few sips, othertimes not.



We've been up with about every couple of nights recently because he is teething and the molars are hurting him. However we have not nursed at night since around 10.5 months. It was amazing how easy it was to stop that when previously I had tried not to nurse at night and he would scream forever!



Also, after I night weaned, I dropped the session after his morning nap, replacing with a snack and sippy. Then a few weeks later I dropepd the session before afternoon nap. This one was a little harder and I rocked him to sleep a few times. He gets a snack and sippy right after the nap now. He doesn't ever drink a lot from the cup at one time, but is not ever constipated so he is drinking enough throughout the day between nursing, water and milk.



I'm planning to drop his evening session in the next month or so and then drop the morning session by 15 months if he doesn't give it up on his own. There is so much info on getting started but so very little on weaning. Good luck!!

[deleted account]



Quoting Heather:

I am right there with you... I am always hoping to find better suggestions and help... my son will be 1 on Saturday, and its not that I don't want to nurse him anymore, its that it os the focus for everything. He eats solid foods, and does really well. He isn't nursing for hunger. He also isn't sleeping solid thru the night without nursing. So I can totally understand how you feel. This is our first boy, all of our daughters were never as aggressive with nursing like our son. He wants total control and it is a job just spacing out the time he nurses. So I am sorry I don't have any great suggestions, but if you find a trick or something that helps big time...please let me know! best of luck to you....



 



 



Thank you so much...even though you don't have advise, you are the first one who is going thru the same thing and understands.  My son stopped taking a pacifier too and i think, like you said, it's not always because he is hungry to eat but he just wants that to pacify him.  My son takes food as well and I'm sure it's not helping I stay at home with him so when he throws a fit, I just nurse.  When my mother in law watched him through the day when I was working, she would fill him with food but as soon as I got home at six thirty, he would nurse every hour on the hour.  The pediatrician said I need to stop nursing and of course the lactating consultant says keep going. I do enjoy nursing its just time consuming when I haven't gone away from him for more than a few hours since I know how he gets when he wants milk...he sometimes won't take food and will only calm down for the breastmilk.  He would never take the breastmilk any other way either. 





 

[deleted account]

thanks, yes he doesn't take to well to baby food anymore and seems to like fresher food. When I push the foods, he tends to need more milk at night and is up more often. I never gave hima bottle....he will hold the cheapest plastic sippy cup but it doesn't seem to make him full. I have tried to not feed him at night but he throws the BIGGEST fit and doesn't calm down. He starts hyper ventilating too. I have tried the graduate sips milk that is strwberry flavored but I have to pour it into his mouth for him to really get any

Aislynn - posted on 07/13/2009

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Oops.. Just remembered your son's over one year old, so the whole check up on the milk thing prob'ly doesn't apply. my bad.

Aislynn - posted on 07/13/2009

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Quoting Christy:

Try milk instead of formula. I switched both of my kids to whole milk at around 9 months. They needed the extra fat and protein in whole milk and seemed to like it better that formula. Plus it is tons cheaper!!



Just wanted to note that my kids' pediatricians have all suggested to wait until they were at least a year old before introducing whole milk.  I don't know the reason behind it, so I thought you'd just want to check before you try it.



My first son, the one I wrote about earlier, was very hard on me.  My husband used to walk him around for an hour just so I could sleep w/o him attached to me.  He wouldn't take a pacifier, he'd rather use me.  Honestly, don't know how I found the time to get pregnant the third time around.  LoL.



My second son (baby number 3) wasn't so hard on me, but he wouldn't take a plug (aka pacifier) either.  He also started teething much ealier than his brother and I finally reached a point where I couldn't be a good mother/wife/person with the small amount of sleep I was getting and how often I was being bit.  So, I started introducing water (sometimes with only a splash of juice or crystal light tea) to get him to take a bottle or sippy cup.  It helped that his older siblings used sippies and he could have one like them.  Oooo!!  Maybe that'll work?!  Getting matching waterbottles or something?  So he could copy Mommy and Daddy?  Sorry, the idea just came to me.



My fourth child (and my last cuz I am SO DONE) breastfeeds now too.  He doesn't sleep through the night, but it's slowly getting better.  He's 7 months.  I'm trying to introduce a sippy now, pretty much per the doctor's recommendations.  She said to try and skip the bottle all together.  Which hasn't happened cuz I've purchased those special bottles that are supposed to simulate bf'ing and I have the babysitter use those with formula when I go out.  He's not taking to them so well though.  Oh well.  Me rambling again.  Good luck! :D

Heather - posted on 07/13/2009

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I am right there with you... I am always hoping to find better suggestions and help... my son will be 1 on Saturday, and its not that I don't want to nurse him anymore, its that it os the focus for everything. He eats solid foods, and does really well. He isn't nursing for hunger. He also isn't sleeping solid thru the night without nursing. So I can totally understand how you feel. This is our first boy, all of our daughters were never as aggressive with nursing like our son. He wants total control and it is a job just spacing out the time he nurses. So I am sorry I don't have any great suggestions, but if you find a trick or something that helps big time...please let me know! best of luck to you....

Christy - posted on 07/13/2009

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Try milk instead of formula. I switched both of my kids to whole milk at around 9 months. They needed the extra fat and protein in whole milk and seemed to like it better that formula. Plus it is tons cheaper!!

Alicia - posted on 07/12/2009

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Now that he is older, you can increase his solid food intake. If he's getting full on more solids then he will be less hungry and easier to train with the cup. When my daughter was about 13 months she was breastfed and she didn't want baby food. I started her on fresh fruits and vegetables in a manageable consistency and this worked. Just a suggestion :) I also liked using formula for 12 mos +. Wal mart has a really cheap brand that is vanilla flavored so it doesn't taste like typical formula. She took to it way better than she did with typical formula.

Alicia - posted on 07/12/2009

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Now that he is older, you can increase his solid food intake. If he's getting full on more solids then he will be less hungry and easier to train with the cup. When my daughter was about 13 months she was breastfed and she didn't want baby food. I started her on fresh fruits and vegetables in a manageable consistency and this worked. Just a suggestion :) I also liked using formula for 12 mos +. Wal mart has a really cheap brand that is vanilla flavored so it doesn't taste like typical formula. She took to it way better than she did with typical formula.

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