How to handle 2yo in church?..

Sarah - posted on 01/24/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Myonly child/ daughter who si 2yo going 3 this april is running inside the chuch thats why all the grandma's in front were very nervous coz she might fall..i brought toys,,writing materials..gadgets..food just to let her stay uptight in one place..but she's still keep on walking and mostly running around and make friends to everyone..me and my husband cant focus on the whole worship..thats why we end up to go downstairs and just hear the sermon from the speakers outside until the mass is ended..my husband decide not to go anymore for 3 weeks now to hear mass and we ended up hearing and watching from tv..he told me we jsut go alternately to church and not bring our daughter until she get old enough like 4yo..pls help me??

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Elfrieda - posted on 01/25/2013

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Have you tried explaining what you expect BEFORE you go in? I was amazed at how my toddler responded when, a bit worried that he would never listen, it occurred to me that I had never really told him what the rules were, just shushed him and told him what not to do in the moment.

So at breakfast, and again on the way to church, I told him that we were going to go to church now, and there would be singing, when he could sing as loudly as he wanted and dance, too. After that it would be Pastor Name's turn to talk. It's not mommy's turn to talk, and not Thomas's turn to talk either. That's when he can play quietly with some toys, have a snack, and colour. After that it will be time to play with friends, cousins, etc.
When we got there I told him how far he was allowed to roam by making a line with my hand and repeating "here yes, here no." and he did his testing and protesting while the singing was going on, so by the time it was necessary for him to be quiet, he was. It was amazing! I mean, we still needed to take him out a lot, but he was really trying. He just hadn't known what I wanted. Now he's 3 y 2 months, and he can usually sit through the whole thing with minimal noise. (I allow him to wiggle as much as he wants, play on the floor with cars, etc, as long as he doesn't make noise and stays in the boundaries, which I redefine every time)

So I would suggest you still go, just be aware that you won't be able to concentrate like you would without her. That's okay, that's just the season of life you're in right now. She's only two, it's unreasonable to expect her to act like an adult, but at the same time you still need to teach her.

Isn't there a nursery? At our church it's 0-2, and there are sometimes volunteers there, and sometimes it's just open and often I'd offer to watch a couple of people's children who were in there and send them back into the service, and then in following weeks they would do the same. It turned into a pretty regular thing for 3 of us couples that each had a 2 year old. If there are 6 adults taking turns watching the young ones, that's only 1 in 6 Sundays that you miss!

I don't think it's best for BOTH of you to go out when she gets too disruptive, that way you both miss it. You could do alternate weeks like your husband suggested, but instead of leaving her home, let her try to sit in church properly, and then when she can't stand it anymore, that's when one of you go out with her. And she'll get better and better as she gets older.

Sarah - posted on 01/24/2013

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You have to teach her how to sit. Do not allow her to run around. One of you sits on the end and the other on the other end of her...so she is in the middle. You may have to do some disciplining in order for her to stop doing what she has been doing.....once you allow the line to be pushed back it is hard to redraw that line without having resistance. No matter her age if you don't teach her how to act in church she is not going to sit nicely. There might be times you will have to take her out that is to be expected. When you take her out you talk with her about how she needs to sit nicely in church. Set-up a reward system for her. If she has sat nicely in church that day when you get home she then gets a sticker. So when you take her out you reminder her about sitting nicely and what you expect out of her. Then you go back in and sit down. They do learn, but it is also a process. I have 3 kids, my youngest is 20 months old and all 3 of my kids have sat in church with us from day 1. It can be done. There are times we have to step out, but the only way kids learn is by doing.....so we sit towards the back with on of us on the end of the pew so if need be we can get out. This also prevents them from escaping and running around.....that is a BIG no no in my book and no matter the age you will know it by the look I give you. This is also the beginning of teaching them to respect the church building and God's house.

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Sarah - posted on 01/25/2013

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to september wilson

yes but the service is after the main one..thats why all the mothers who have 4yo below were downstairs and just listening from the apeaker wired outside...thanks and maybe i will ask if they can move the schedule ahead of time while the service for the adults is going on..

Sarah - posted on 01/25/2013

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to elfrieda
thanks for that encouraging words..we are 1st time parents for our adopted daughter.

.thats why we are on our challenging times raising her..as the other mothers told us thats really normal to have a kid whose full of energy like our girl..

we have told our todler many times how to act inside the church.. but when we go to our in laws my DH nephew who is 3yo whose super dooper active that time when our daughter started to walk thats why she imitate him whatever she does everytime we visit to our in laws..

the church in my inlaws its just small that it seems your just inside of a big living room..unlike in our home church its huge and its really noticeable when a kid is roaming around..and both of us embarassed when our daughter is roaming around, running here and there....

my husband and I realized maybe its in her genes that she is like that..coz both of us are very prim and proper person..but we love her dearly even she is not our own blood..maybe now that shes approaching 3 yo this april she will be more attentive..its really extra challenge this whole stage of her 2yo days that we are really tested by her activeness whenever we will go..

its also a factor maybe at our set up at home im the fulltym mom who stayed 24/7 ...while my Dh his working in the city and he goes home on weekends...thats why im the disciplinarian and my DH is very more on spoiler coz of the time he spend to our girl..who is willing to give her most everything she want..thats why im kind a stres out when they are together and most of my rules have been broken when DH comes home on weekends...

before, when our only child is just a baby he is the one more focus during weekends since thats the only time for them to bond as father and daughter coz on monday my DH will go to his jobsite for the whole 5 working days....

thanks so much for ur insights maybe..we have to have more and more and more patience trying everything as we were trying before to have a baby...maybe God is teaching us a lessons for this..to be more patient..LOL! Thanks again and Godbless :)

September - posted on 01/25/2013

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Does your church not have Sunday school for little ones? Maybe you could find one that provides those types of services until she is old enough to sit still.

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