I think i may have a spoiled brat.

Monique - posted on 01/02/2014 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Hi. I am new to this community (just signed up) desparate to find out if other moms are going through a rough time with their 3-1/2 yr olds. My Ava can very moody/fresh & cranky. She is a gemini. One day she is sweet and the next sour. Anyone going through this? She does not listen when told to stop or clean her space . She does not listen if i ask her to do something as simple as help mommy throw this in the trash. Things of this nature. Is my child just a brat or does being a Gemini add to the situation? Thanks in advance

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Monique - posted on 02/03/2014

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Your replies are so very helpful thank you! I cant remember if i mentioned this but now she is using the word "mean" or "being mean" for everything! Mommy is being mean! Daddy is being mean! Grandma is being mean! Then she will say one of us hit her when no one laid a finger or ever will! Im so scared one day she is going to get us in trouble . I explain to her mommy and daddy will be taken away if you tell others this. She will say this when she doesn't get her way! I don't know how to teach her not to use these words! Sometimes i wish she just picked up words like fuck or shit instead! Ugggg so frustrating i developed a nervous twitch in my eyelid!!! I just don't know how to teach her to stop saying and using these words in the text she uses them in. We were in the post office and i was taping a box and she wanted to help. I just wanted to get out of there, car was parked at pump. So i didn't let her help and and she was very loudly saying mommy your mean!! Your being mean to me and she was in tears and everyone was looking. I just said no honey mommy is not being mean to you mommy just needs to work faster so we can get back to the car. Mommy doesnt want to get a ticket. Ppl were giving me faces. So embarrassing.

Joanne - posted on 01/07/2014

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You're not alone. Many moms have difficulty with their 3 yr olds not listening. And some will continue to deal with this situation even when their children are older. I have found the best solution for both child and parent(s). Get this new book on "How to Get your Kids to Listen" it has the best parental recommendations that you will be able to utilize throughout your child's growing years. It even works on teenagers - wow. The book is on http://www.TrueKidsstories.org. You should check it out and save yourself a lot of frustration. Hope this helps.

Samantha Lane - posted on 01/07/2014

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My in laws do not let our kids get their way my husmand always laughs when he gets onto the boys

Samantha Lane - posted on 01/07/2014

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I tell my kids no all the time they don't listen until they fall then they do it again my youngest likes turning TV on off I say no he still does it help

Samantha Lane - posted on 01/07/2014

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My kids light up my day they keep me busy I was in hospital dka my in laws took care both boys now my youngest always want his grandma makes me feel bad I got iv line in leg got clot in leg EET swelled up big they hurted real bad when came home they still hurted went to doctor got x rays foot and leg find some thing out tomorrow

Samantha Lane - posted on 01/07/2014

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I have two boys the oldest be three February 15 my youngest be two june 26 they both hyperactive got to have their way twenty four seven my youngest just started walking

Samantha Lane - posted on 01/07/2014

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I am married he is out state working his mother and father been helping a lot their father be home next saturday

Samantha Lane - posted on 01/07/2014

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My youngest sometimes takes a 5 to 10 minute naps I think cause he's getting older they love sleeping in the van when go to city my oldest doesn't take naps during day he's older hyper all the time

Samantha Lane - posted on 01/07/2014

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If the boys don't get their way they scream throw toys hit but they got to know they can't always get what they want they love going to city love playing outside but so hot out over here Puerto rico

Monique - posted on 01/07/2014

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Aahhh Elizabeth you make it seem so easy!
I have tried and tried to do this exact thing. The explaining , my feelings, how it makes me sad!!! Nothing works! Its her way or the highway.
For example. Yesterday i wanted her to get on the phone to say happy bday to our aunt. She would not get on the phone and said that her aunt camille wasn't her aunt. I then explained how her grandma and aunt camille are sisters and share the same mommy. "No they don't" they are not sisters and they dont have the same mommy! In the brattiest voice! I had to walk away! Just so bratty in all categories from snacks to food to helping mommy with a simple task. Can you get he remote for mommy? NO! :-(

Elisabeth - posted on 01/07/2014

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I have always dealt with children in a unique way. I like the development of mind, I like children gaining independence, and I like helping this by allowing the child to decide from two options (the option I want (s)he to pick and an option that I know the child will not like). It works fabulously as testing boundaries is a behavior that stems from the desire to assert independence. By allowing the child to feel independent you accomplish an end result that helps to resolve the fits of not listening and you are still able to get the child to do what you want without a tantrum.

I do not like hearing children scream and cry. I like a positive vibe and if I can achieve it I will always opt for that first.

I also like to talk with children and have discussions about rules. I explain to them how a certain behavior makes me feel, whether happy or sad. I like explaining why something like having snacks before dinner isn't a good idea instead of just saying, "no". I ask questions like, "do you know why we shouldn't eat snacks so close to dinner time?" Whenever a child knows the answer (s)he will feel so proud. The reason I usually tell a child that snacks aren't a good idea is that I have worked SO hard to make dinner and it will make me sad if the child cannot enjoy it because of a tummy that is full of snacks. And that after dinner we can ALL have a snack!

I know that it isn't easy to deal with others interfering with mommy's rules and discussion with those that interfere is not always an option. Good luck, to you!

Cc - posted on 01/04/2014

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I, too, deal with the spoiling in laws. My sons understand, however, that thee are rules to be followed when I am in charge and rules to follow when with grandparents and aunts/uncles. It gets rough sometimes when in laws are around a lot but you have to put in the work to make her understand. Try and have a talk with your husband because it could be confusing when mom and dad disagree about her rules. My fiancé lets the kids have junk food when I'm not there but if he hears me tell them they cannot have something he will reinforce those rules at least that day. I think as mothers it is our duty to be the "bad guy" where it counts while making sure we have fun with them every opportunity we get. It's very normal at her age to be testing those who watch her and she can now differentiate between personalities and understand who she can get over on and who she can't. Good luck, mom.

Monique - posted on 01/04/2014

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Thanks CC & Evelyn.
I don't want her to walk all over me in the long run. Another problem is my husband. I say no he says yes. He is no help. My in laws too spoil her let her get her way all the time. Like if its before dinner and i say no snacks i take them away then i am the bad guy. Getting ugly looks. Then my husband will say let her have 1/2 the snack then dinner ! I can't win :-(

Cc - posted on 01/04/2014

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Stop giving in! Let her cry and complain. One example of setting boundaries is this...When you let her know that it's time to eat lunch, also tell her that she can not play with her toys again (or something she enjoys doing) until she throws out the garbage and puts her dish and cup in the sink. If she does not clean up after herself, DO NOT let her play with her toys (or whatever you told her comes after cleaning) Let her cry and complain all she wants. It will be a headache for you at first but will benefit you in the long-run.

Monique - posted on 01/03/2014

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I am lost, i don't know what to do. She can be so mean too. She wont stop the brattiness until i give in and she gets her way. Can you give me an example of setting boundries ?

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