Is there a easy way to get my daughter to sleep in her crib/bed and not with me?

Joey - posted on 11/10/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )

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she will only sleep in her crib for a few hours and then the only way for her to get to sleep is in my bed and when i put her back in her crib she wakes up instantly, she is only 13 months i dont think she is quite old enough for a toodler bed

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Nicole - posted on 11/13/2010

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You should try and break this habit as soon as possible. There was a child that I would watch frequently and he only could fall asleep in your bed and he was 6 at the time. His mother couldn't get him to sleep in his own bed until he was about 8. If she can't get out of her crib by her self, you should start a routine with a bath, brush teeth, read book and then tuck in her crib. You could put soothing music on so she can focus on the rhythm of the song. When you leave she will cry you will have to come in there a few times to reassure her that everything is fine. Eventually she will fall asleep. Keep doing this and she will get so used to the routine that she will know that it is bedtime when the music comes on. I had to do this with my daughter and my sister is now doing this for her son (who is 21 mos old) and it works like a charm.

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Stefanie - posted on 11/30/2010

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Me and my husband have to put are kids to bed my daughter is 6 and my son is 3 we have to lay with them until they fall asleep other wise its a crazy house I'm also in an apartment so its hard to just let them cry it out really we have a routine between 7-730pm getting ready for bed, and by 8 pm the latest there asleep.Then at least my husband and I have time for are self.But in the end we play musical beds the kids wake up and we all end up in diffrent beds..its crazy we have tride every thing in the end we figure there gonna get older and it well stop they just want comfort i guess.

Tracey - posted on 11/30/2010

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Tough love. Sometimes when she cries you have to ignore her. you have to get a new routine in place.

Sandy - posted on 11/29/2010

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Read the book Sleeping through the Night by Jodi Mindell. I used the method with 2 kids, and my 2yo is a great sleeper, and well, the 7 month old we just started the method with 3 days ago, and it's already getting a lot better. The book also has great information regarding sleep in general.

Leanne - posted on 11/24/2010

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Such good advice. We had to do the controlled crying as my little boy woke 4 or 5 times a night just to be picked up. So we did as tresillian told us. We had 3 nights of hell with him screaming and not hapy but each night the crying got less and less and now we say ok bed time little man and he runs in and grabs all is teddies, buzz, woody and his pillow and sleeps without a drama. Normally sleeps from 9pm to 8am. So I would suggest taking notice of many of the posts in here. It will make you have a much better time with your baby and she will have more sleep.

Ashley - posted on 11/21/2010

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Self soothing is not a crime. It will probably take about three nights and it will feel awful, but you are not doing any harm to your child by letting them cry themselves to sleep...They will be comfortable in their own bed, you will be comfortable in yours and you will have established a sense of self accomplishment in your child.

Danni - posted on 11/21/2010

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try a night light, and weaning her from you. holding her in her crib, then holding her hand, standing by her crib, then good night. dont make eye contact with her. could be fear of dark or separation anxiety eg if she is now in care, or stayed at ie nannas house. a night time routine and set bed time helps as well tea bath teeth book bed. if your child stays nannas or else where stress that she MUST follow the sameroutine. trust me one night being rocked to sleep can be enough to start over. maybe try a teddy. or controlled crying method both are tough i know the weaning one takes a week or two. but worth it. the main part is trying to work out the source of the problem. even to the point ofshadows in window or research night terrors. my eldest suffered from these at this age which is uncommon until 2yrs old. to have them in bed with you can be comforting to both parent and child in short. i do know of cases where the child was a young teen and still sneaking into parents bed.

Kim - posted on 11/20/2010

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No, I agree, not old enough yet. Sounds to me like she's not getting an early enough nap... and that her bedtime she is treating like a nap, then waking up after a few hours. My twins did that for about a month or so... (horrible), but I just kept at it putting them back in bed.
Once you rule out an ear infection, then try moving her to a once daily nap that happens around 1:00. Hopefully, she would sleep until about 3-4. That should have her ready for real bed by nighttime. Also - make sure when you take her to bed, show her the dark outside and say, Ok, bedtime now, see you in the morning. ;)

Brandy - posted on 11/20/2010

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By six months a child doesn't need any milk throughout the night, and most children wake up at some point during the middle of the night, and they just have to learn to settle themselves back down. Usually they will cry for at least ten to fifteen minutes straight when they are first learning to settle themselves back to sleep. My son has been in his crib in his own room since he was 3 months old, and he is now fifteen months old. From 3-6 months, I would get him and nurse him when he woke up and then rock him back to sleep and put him back down in his crib. From six months on we started doing his bedtime routine, and we wouldn't rock him to sleep, we would put him in his crib to let him put himself to sleep, which is recommended. The first night, we did his routine, I put him in the crib, and he started screaming. Even though I was crying with him, I knew he was clean, dry, and full, and he was just crying. I sat at the end of his crib so he could see me, but I didn't look at him or say anything to him. It took about 45 min. of him screaming, but he put himself to sleep. It only took a few nights of doing this before he started getting used to it, and then the crying spells were short, usually only five minutes. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but so worth it. Now when he goes to bed, I put him in there, he lays down, I cover him up, and sing him song and give him a hug and a kiss. He doesn't even cry anymore. He loves sleeping by himself. He goes to bed around nine, and wakes up around 8:00am. This has helped me be able to get 8 hours of sleep almost every night. Also, if he does wake up now, I usually just change his diaper, tell him it's still night time, and I put him back to bed, and he goes right back to sleep.

Janessa - posted on 11/19/2010

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For me we had a rule that they couldn't be in our bed. (Of course we make exceptions when they have a nightmare now, but still it is only long enough to comfort them, not the whole night.) When they are newborns that is hard, but if you start early, it isn't a problem as they get older. It isn't too late at 13 months. You will have probably a couple of rough nights, but if you don't give in, and she knows it. It will run smoother. Everyone including her will get more sleep. You can go in and I would recommend it so she knows you hear her, but don't take her out, and don't stay too long. Anyways, that is what we did with our kids, and they all sleep very well and have since babies. But again this is just what we did that worked for us, but you are her Mom, do what works for you guys. I have snuggle time with them when we aren't supposed to be sleeping.

Sara - posted on 11/19/2010

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My son woke up about ever 2 hours until he was two. You can all laugh because it is totally funny. My hairdresser's daughter had a barbie doll head (the one you brush the hair and put make up on). He saw it and walked out and said mommy look. He was in love. Since he was a tiny baby he always wanted to lay on my hair or touch my hair to go to sleep. Lucky me the hairdresser told me I could have the doll (like he was going to let anybody have it back). That night and from then on he slept through the night. So we took of the base and sawed off the posts and the rest is history. Don't get upset when the doll becomes mom and you become girl. That will change after a few months. He is four and the doll has some nappy hair. But sometimes when you can replicate the need for mom in bed it works. Let me tell you 2 years later Mom (the doll) still lays at the end of the bed but it is not a must have. He has a new one called sister who he can brush her hair. Let me tell you he is all boy accept when it comes to womens hair. hahah.

Renee - posted on 11/18/2010

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It's really important to establish good sleeping habits early on. Unfortunately, I found, it's just not easy...you have to let them cry it out.You'll have to get a bedtime routine (bath/a little tv/bedtime story), that makes it easier. Then put her in bed for the night. She'll cry the longest the first night and over the next few nights it will get less and less. Just keep in mind, if she's only crying to be picked up and she doesn't need anything else then she's really ok. Getting proper rest is the most important thing.

Angie - posted on 11/18/2010

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My baby girl does the same thing, I just put her in bed with me, we both get sleep that way and I really dont mind the cuddles. Having her in bed with also made me realize that she has really bad allergies, snores and sleeps with her mouth wide open and was also wheezing. So having your child in your bed isnt that bad and tey will grow out of it no teenager wants to sleep with their mom lol... but I do know the feeling and I do understand why you want her in her bed I went through that to and she just wasnt happy and wasnt sleeping well. So I gave in its what my gut told me to do, just folow your gut :) youll know when shes ready

Jill - posted on 11/18/2010

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I read the Baby Whisperer book & love her approach!! I tried her method 1st with both of my boys (followed it to perfection) but it just didn't work for either of them. I had also purchased & read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth at the same time and after doing the Baby Whisperer method for over a month with NO success, I tried Dr. Weissbluth's method. My first one was sleeping great in less than a week, my second one only took 3 days!!!

Rhonda - posted on 11/18/2010

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Is she cold in her bed? We had this problem too. We put thermal sheets on the bed and used a sleep blanket and it helped.

Keri - posted on 11/17/2010

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sounds like what my son does, even today (unless he's really tired). You know the adage "let them cry it out"? For me, at least, it applied to this situation. If she's 13 months, she's still in a crib and probably still too small to get out of it, so put her in and let her be. It may be hard to do, but eventually she'll realize you're not coming to give her what she wants and will settle down to sleep soon enough.

Carmine - posted on 11/17/2010

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When we moved into our new place our daughter would not go to sleep except on us, and it would take 20 minutes. After a few weeks, and a few cry sessions, she did go back to her old routine of sitting with us for 5 minutes then bed if she's asleep or not. She got really squirmy and slept restlessly in a crib by 18 months, so a couple weeks later we switched her to a toddler bed(our crib is convertible) and she's been fine ever since. If she woke up in the night, she would go back to sleep, if she cried we'd check her diaper, sit with her, and put her back to bed just like at bedtime.

Monica - posted on 11/16/2010

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At that age, my son wouldn't go to sleep without me rocking him to sleep. Then he'd wake up and hour later and we'd start again. Solution? Sleep training. He'd cry himself to sleep without me in the room, but I'd pick him up for a minute evvery 20 minutes. He got used to it and my back recovered from the long hours of rocking. Good luck!

Teri - posted on 11/16/2010

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sometimes food intolerances (not allergies) cause issues with sleep. dairy is a common one. if there is a common time that she is always awakening, then it may be digestion related. may be worth reading up on.

Mothtoflame - posted on 11/15/2010

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i agree that you should not give in to her. i used to get a comfy chair and sit next to my sons cot with my arm through the bars. every time he stood up i would lie him back down no talkin to him ! i couldnt do the cryin thing when he was that young and found there was no way i was sleeping with him screaming anyway. eventually after a couple of weeks he just needed me to lie him down again after waking or sit for 1 min

Amber - posted on 11/14/2010

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I started having this issue when my child was 8 months..We finally decided that the habit had to be broken soon, so we have a set routine, and we lay her down..it was so hard to hear her cry the first few nights but it gets easier, and now she puts herself to sleep every night and sleeps a VERY long time :)
The main thing to remember is that you should only let your child cry for 45 minutes without consoling...which when we started we heard you should go in every five minutes tell her goodnight and then lay her back down, but this only made her a LOT more upset!

Sophia - posted on 11/13/2010

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i had the same problem not so long ago and you have to be crawl to be kind keep on putting her back where she is surpost to sleep she will give up after a while usally takes about a week but worth it and it is a tuff week so you must be strong and not give in. if this doesnt work talk to healthvistor i did it so you can good luck

Clara - posted on 11/10/2010

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There is a very simple answer - she wants to be with mommy - why fight it ? She wont be this age forever ?

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2010

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I had the same problem with both of my kids untill i read Tracey Hoggs the baby whisperer and found it awesome. The key is to follow her rules and be consistant as hard as it is, within a week they were both in their own beds without too much drama.

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