keeping the relationship going

LaMia - posted on 07/18/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )




How do you guys keep your relationships from getting boring as a mom? My daughter, who'll be 2 in August, had always slept in the room with us until recently and suffers from night-terrors. Plus everytime we found a peaceful moment all I wanted to do was sleep and with money being tight, well you get the picture. how did you deal with being a first time mom trying to maintain a relationship?


Janessa - posted on 07/25/2011




I've been there and still am sometimes, and it is a constant fight with being so tired. One thing I came to realize though is it is important, and I have to sacrifice something to have any time alone with my husband. Sometimes that was sleep. Some days I just can't do it, and my husband understands, but I am tired everyday, and so on those days that are not too bad, just normal I make the sacrifice. With our first, we actually would blow up our air mattress and get our sleeping bag and have a camp out downstairs, and sometimes watch a movie. Now with four, any alone time we have at night or otherwise we just try and spend it together in spite of being tired. We are tight on money too, but we have family near by that can watch our kids every now and then and we take advantage of that when we can, and we will do inexpensive things, or things that don't cost money. Like taking a walk together, or just going to get a shake, just being alone together is what matters. When we don't have babysitters, we spend time at home after they are in bed. Your relationship with your husband is what will keep your family going and happy it is the most important thing, even more so than your child because if it fails your child suffers from it too. It is kind of like when you have to put your mask on first, not your child's in an airplane. I know how hard it is though and I'll be the first to tell you, some days I just can't, but I try and make an extra effort whenever possible. Hope that helps.


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Amanda - posted on 08/02/2011




I have 2 1/2 yo twins and yes time together as a couple is hard, and we dont really have much for babysitters as my inlaws wont babysit and my parents already watch them while we work. We have learned to be creative and do things after they go to bed. Nap times work best for a quickie and cuddle time. after the kids go to bed, we get done what needs to be done then before going to bed, no matter sometimes how tired we get some in or shower together or at least try to cuddle in bed together and just talk. light candles helps. But it is hard with a baby, and even though some nights I would love to just sleep, its worth it to spend some time being intimate with my husband then falling asleep. Plus - helps you sleep better and relaxes you!!

LaMia - posted on 07/22/2011




nap times are good for quickies but not for maintaining a healthy relationship. A baby-sitting co-op seems like a great idea..thanks

Ann Marie - posted on 07/20/2011




Is there any way you could swap babysitting with another mom? Or set up a babysitting co-op in your neighborhood? Then you could get some time out without the cost of babysitting. And it doesn't have to be a fancy date; just go for a picnic in the park or something.

Celia - posted on 07/19/2011




my husband and i suffer from a boring relationship right now too, and its caused some depression on both of our parts. my oldest will be 4 in oct and money was kinda tight with her, but now we have a newborn and its even tighter, plus like you said all i want to do is sleep. if you get any good ideas shoot them my way lol.

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