Last name help with a 3 year old!!

Alison - posted on 08/27/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Ok, long story short....my daughter's "dad" hasn't been in the picture for 2.5 years out of her 3 years of life. She listened to me on the phone saying my full name to make appointments, etc. and started saying her name as her first name and my last name even though legally she has her "dads" last name. I just went along with it because I was going to court to get it changed anyway. Well only 1 week before I could legally change it, he paid child support and that means that I couldn't without his permission anymore (i already went through lawyers and courts, etc so thats out of the question). So my question is, did any of you moms have to tell your kids at a young age that they need to start using a different last name and they did okay with it? I told my daughter that she is very special because she has 2 last names, but only uses her legal one now and she does fine with it, but I just don't want to confuse her. Anyone else relate?? I came to terms with having to use her legal last name and i'm okay with it, even though he is not in the picture very much. That last name may be the only part she has of her dad if something were to happen to him down the road. But I just don't want this to be a big mix up for her

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Amanda - posted on 08/29/2012

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I don't have experience being a parent with a child with a different last name, but growing up my last name was different than my mother's even though she was a single parent. It didn't bother me growing up, I just had my father's name. I was never confused as to why I had his name, my mom explained it to me. I didn't care that I had his name until I was almost through with highschool, and had I not gotten married at 20 I probably would have had it legally changed myself, so in the end it wasn't a big deal. I know this wasn't exactly the advice you were looking for, hope it helps you a little.

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