Managed to get my daughter back have court on december 23 what do i do?

Francis - posted on 12/12/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Managed to get my daughter back found out that her daddy had left her with his mom and i went and had the police go and help me retrieve my daughter while her daddy was at work. His mom got in the cops face and yelled and screamed and cussed and threatened. well he has filed a protective order the initial one was denied but i have to go to court on december 23, and he is trying to say that i abandoned my daughter and that i have been abusing her and says that his parents saw me abuse her and that i threatened bodily harm to him and threatened to kill him if he called the police. I will have a statement from OCS because their investigation is complete and have found no sign of abuse and i am going to have a note from her doctor too who has never seen any signs of abuse on her as well as some other witnesses and i will have my daughter with me when i go to court and she is not afraid of me and does not act abused at all, but i am still terrified that he will be able to take her from me and if the protective order is granted then i won't be able to see my daughter for 18 months which means she will be almost 3 before i would be able to see her again. Terrified of losing my child does anybody have any advice that could help!!!!

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[deleted account]

Get a lawyer if he is accusing you. Unless asked otherwise by the court, DO NOT bring the child to court. Most judges do not like to see a child put in the middle. Seriously, regardless of what is true or not true, at this point you need a lawyer...call around on Monday morning. I know you said money is an issue, but you really don't have a choice.

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Francis - posted on 12/23/2009

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Wanted to let all of ya'll know that he dismissed all of the charges agaisnt me. He did it the day before we were supposed to show up in court which was today, so yesterday i found out that he dropped all of the charges against me, and i haven't heard from him since, so i don't know if that means that he is done or not. Mabey that means that he is going to leave me alone. I am now living back with my family in Ruston Louisiana, and my family is going to help me get on my feet with sarrah. So we are going to have a wonderful christmas, and she will be with me for christmas. Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas.

Sheryl - posted on 12/17/2009

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I cam sympathize with ya! My husbands ex has tryed to get us for kiddnapping cause she couldn't reach us for an hour, child neglect, she even went as far as to say my 9yr old molested her 4 yr old cps was involved and they found both claims of molestation not founded, CID was involved for the child neglect and was found not founded, and we could produce the divorce papers to the mp fot the kiddnapping but she is now denying visitation and we havn't seen or spoke to the kids for 10 months we have a lawyer but it takes time. We still drive the 3 hrs one way to get them for her to not answer or not be there and we go file a police report. So be prepared it could be a long process and costly at that but in the end it will be worth it!

Francis - posted on 12/16/2009

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I will keep all of you posted. The court date is comming up fast, i already have the information from my daughter's doctors and documents from all of her recent visits. Still waiting on the paperwork from OCS since they are closing my case my worker is putting together paperwork, saying that they found no signs of abuse or neglect, Very nervous, but the paperwork her dad filed, it said it was denied due to no proof of paternity according to law. All he has is a DNA test, to prove he is my daughter's daddy,and it was not a court ordered paternity test, so i am hopeing that it won't be enough. Very nervous about court, but hopeing for the best. If things work out then me and my daughter will be going to my parents house to spend christmas with my family. so here is hopeing for a good christmas.

Sheila - posted on 12/15/2009

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The natural place for a child is with their mother unless it can be proven that she is unable to look after them. My thoughts, as everyone's on here is with you. Please keep us posted and I too pray that you will be with your little one at Christmas. Sx

[deleted account]

As long as you aren't doing anything wrong, just keep being a good mom and get all the documentation you can. We are kind-of going through a similiar thing. In May my step-daughters mom ran away with her and we couldn't find her for 6 weeks. Since there was nothing documented through court the police couldn't do anything. My fiance won temporary custody and her mom gets her every other Tues. thru Thurs. Now we are going back to court for complete full custody and my fiance is extremely worried. I told him all you can do is be the best dad you can be and a judge will see that. Good Luck

[deleted account]

Another thought...hoping the worst case doesn't happen, but in a worse case scenario that the courts do side with him, you will still get to see your daughter...at least in a supervised aspect. Just in case, I would brainstorm the name of someone that your ex would trust around you and your child so that you can propose that person if that happens (which you may want to talk to that person ahead of time). I know that when there was a protection order against my ex because my daughter came home with bruises and welts on her, he was still able to see her in a safe atmosphere per the court's order...and one of those bruises was in the obvious shape of a handprint on her as well as she was old enough to speak out against him and he was still legally allowed to see her against her will, but under the guidelines/precautions of the protection order...though obviously that will depend on how your state does it, but most states want the child to have a relationship with both parents.

[deleted account]

My husband's cousin (the dad) just went through a similar situation. His ex is bipolar/manic depressive and refuses to take her medication. Her own mother testified against her and said she wasn't capable of taking care of her child since she couldn't even take care of herself. So, the father got custody. But, situations like this are rare. His lawyer said that most judges want to keep the child with the mother unless it can be proven that she is unfit. It sounds like your daughter's dad has a lot of he said, she said, but no concrete proof of anything. I wish you all the best and hope that your daughter will be by your side on Christmas Day.

Amanda - posted on 12/13/2009

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you need an attorney...sucks but will be well worth it when it hits the fan so to speak. it's also good advice to not bring your child unless advised by the courts. putting any and all proof together is also great advice...be prepared for anything. he will likely have an attorney...they can be worth their weight in gold... do you best to stay positive with your daughter...cherish your time with her...save your tears for those rare alone moments...but know that many of us weep for and with you.

Andrea - posted on 12/12/2009

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i am very glad to hear she is home and safe with you..I would make sure you have all the paper work and so on.. Also i would still seek the advice of a lawyer just to run things past them.. Keep us posted and let us know what you find out on the 23rd.. Takse care and Best Wishes..

Darlene - posted on 12/12/2009

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Wow. I cant beleive that someone would say that about you if they know in there heart of heart that you did do it. I would get a lawyer. A neighbor on us and we almost lost our kids. My daughter is six and she is austic and she has adhd and our son is two. They would not know what to do. I hope that you will get her back but they have to check on things. We had a couple of weeks to get things together or they would have been gone. And they called it abuse.

Alina - posted on 12/12/2009

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get a lawyer! we dealt with almost the same situation and lost our kids for almost a year. get any and all proof you have together, have your ducks in a row so to speak. i will be praying for you. we finally ended our nightmare but it wasnt easy. dont give up, ever! hang in there and if you want more info contact me.

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