Mean, whining two year old

User - posted on 05/05/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My two year old son whines constantly for everything he wants!! He cries for everything until he gets it. My husband gives him whatever he wants and picks him up whenever he whines. I am not sure how to handle that. What should I do or will be eventually break out of it? Also, he's very mean!

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Sarah - posted on 05/05/2013

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You have to set the bounaries. Right now he is doing those things because he can and it works. You have to teach him what is acceptable and appropate behavior. For being mean you need to set limits. If he hits it is a time out and a firm and short explaination on how it is not nice to hit. If he is taking something away from someone it is explaining and teaching him how he needs to ask if he can play with it and not just take. Then you have him give the object back to the person he took it from. At 2 yrs old they are only concerned with themselves and what they want. You have to teach them that just because they want something does not mean they can just go and take it. Require him to say please and thank-you.

For the whining......stop giving into it. That is the only way it is going to stop. You don't want a whiney 15 yr old.....I have seen a few and the whining looks much worse at that age. Once he realizes that the whining is not going to get him what he wants it stops. I also have a rule......you can whine all you want in your room, but once you come out of your room I don't want to hear the whining. It is amazing how fast the whining stops when there is no one to listen to it.

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Kyrie - posted on 05/26/2013

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Your husband has trained him to whine for things. You must both be on board for this to stop. Then, he will have to try to communicate. Reward any effort to communicate that's not whining.

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2013

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My niece is like that. More mean then whinny. She is also taking to "Asking" for things with her soother in her mouth. When she whines I just tell her nope not picking you up, say up. If she stops and says up I pick her up. My niece doesn't talk and she will be two in July. She says wow and up so its hard to know what she wants. Ignore Ignore Ignore the whining. As for the mean TIME OUT CORNER. Working wonders with my niece. She is the picture of mean. Hitting, punching, kicking, bitting, head butting, pinching, pushing, throwing things at you. You name it she does it. I give her a warning then put her in time out the next time. At least you are the main disciplinarian. By the end of the week she is a little angle. Over three days her parents undo everything I have done. Just don't give in and things will change. They always whine no matter how old they are, we just have to show them that they get nothing with this tone. With my son I also whined back, he didn't like that.

Pink - posted on 05/23/2013

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Explain to him that nobody can understand what he wants when he wines, and that if he wants something, he has to ask nicely.

Gail - posted on 05/23/2013

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You should boundaries while he is still young. Let him know that he won't get everything right by whining and being mean and do not give in to him. Stand your ground and your husband should help you with this. My 2 year old throws things around when he cannot get what he wants but I ignore him and he stops.

Eva-Lotta - posted on 05/22/2013

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Our two year old has been screaming for everything so we have persisted with "you have to ask nicely". If she wants water it is "can I please have some water", if she wants a cuddle "can i please have a cuddle". This stops her in her tracks and breaks the screaming / whining as well as teaches her to speak properly and that you get a lot further by being polite. It is tough and you have to be more stubborn then the kids and you have to be consistent (both you and the rest of the family)! It takes time but they get it pretty quickly when they realise that they actually get what they want when they do ask nicely... :)
Good luck!

Joyce - posted on 05/22/2013

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NOPE, he won't. Try this, but no promises here. Oddly, this worked for my oldest daughter, now 30. She was a consummate whiner. Moment to moment was UGH! Finally, one day, I said, "honey, 2 years old cannot speak like this bc no one knows what they are saying." I had to do it a few days and then, no more. For her this worked with nearly everything: toilet training, brushing teeth, staying in bed, napping, coming into the house from playing...and for every age until she got savvy from being in school with other kids! For her, it was like "life by a rule book." It may not have been fair, but some behaviors like whining cannot be allowed to be continued. lol This decidedly, did not work for the second childon any level...paybacks?? I guess!

Bree - posted on 05/22/2013

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My daughter is 3 and we are going through the same thing. She speaks very well, but when she is whining I always say to her that I wont be able to understand what she needs or wants unless she uses her normal voice. Usually it takes a couple of tries but eventually she realizes that if she stops whining then she will get a positive response from my husband or myself. I believe they understand exactly what whining is at this age, they know that if they change their voices that we will respond, I have heard my husband say to my daughter please stop whining, and in a whiney voice she has responded "I'm not whining". We have been using this method and it has slowly been getting better!!!

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