My 14 month old son smacks me and my husband.

Lisa - posted on 10/10/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son is our youngest of four children and he is our only boy. He started smacking in july. He has also started throwing terrible tantrums as well, violently thrashing his body around and screaming like he's being hurt. None of our three older daughters have never acted this way, even as toddlers or now as teens. One time my son got mad because I took the remote away from him and he smacked me so hard he bruised my nose and knocked my glasses off my face.

My husband and I also don't agree on how to handle this behavior. My husband smacks his hand, which only gets my son to smack Daddy's hand back. I stick him in his crib when he smacks me, which I also know isn't helping, but, I am at a loss as to what to do. I've never been smacked by one of my children before this, and trying to reason with a 14 month old is easier said than done. What can I do to stop this behavior?

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User - posted on 10/10/2013

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lol Im crazy thought it read 14 yrs old, and Im thinking" you are going to smack his hand back?!!" lol anyway...

With the tantrums, do you give it any attention at all? If so dont. Its only for attention and he is thinking that is how he is going to get it. Ignore him, go to a different room, but still be able to see him to know he's safe, just so he doesnt think anyone is watching. He should stop after a few minutes, but if he gets in a spot he might hurt himself or someone else definitely put him in his crib so he cant harm anything, and wait until he stops before you get him back out.
I must say me and my hubby are on different terms for disciplining our son too, we come together on most stuff but some things (the more important things) we just are opposite on. I think its a good thing though, because men arnt typically as emotional as women and you can usually come to a good agreement that isnt to strict or too lax.

As for the smacking too. Kids do all this negative stuff for attention. They say I cant get attention this way, but I know if I hit mommy shes gonna notice me.And they would rather have negative attention from you than none.

Not saying at all you do not pay attention to your son, but their little minds cant comprehend as ours and they have a limited view on things.A lot of kids do this. To help with this, at every thing he does good, start tellin him how proud you are, and praise, praise, praise. He will love it. Even the littlest of things, putting his fork back on the table, thank him. The more positive attention he gets the more he will strive to make mommy and daddy proud and the less negative impulses he will have.

It is unacceptable for kids to hit, and to me at 14 months, he is way to young for time out, spanking, hand swatting, all that stuff. Its a tougher situation they are learning so much, but its much ahrder on parents to teach them right and wrong. I know mine at that age, did not benefited from any of those, they just cant learn from it yet. Have you tried when he does hit to direct his attention immediately to something completely different? I mean not showing your anger, frustration, tiredness (he is looking for that) but say picking him up, taking him to a toy in a different area, and play with him. Make sure you tell him everytime as soon as it happens that he can not smack, that it hurts mommy,and redirecting his actions into something positive. Your not giving your own negative attention to the smacking but staying firm that its unacceptable, but showing him you like it better when he is being nice and playful and that you are willing to enjoy his company when he is being good
It takes a lot of patience for a toddler boy, and Im sure you already know that for any toddler it takes patience lol. But if yours is anything like mine, he is full blooded boy through and through, hes rough naturally, and loves dirt, trucks, (play) guns, etc. My boy just is not as gentle and relaxed as I would like him to be, and I also have to keep on him, or his natural energy will take over lol He isnt bad most of the time, hes very energetic is all lol I can just imagine having a girl, how different it would be!

If you stay consistent with this, trust me you will see a difference with in the first day. It takes time for him to stop the behavior, but it shouldnt take more than a week for you to see his smacking cut in half or more. God gave us mothers strength, and its just for situations like this. :) God Bless and I hope you the best

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