my 19 mtn old has EXTREME separation anxiety!!!

Brooke - posted on 04/09/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have been home with my 19mtn old since birth & just recently when we go to play groups & I'm still in the room, he will play abit then whine & want up. I try ignoreing it & walk away while he's crying behind me but I feel so bad for the other people that are there to have to hear it. So I decided to start going to the ymca they watch your kids for a max of 2 hrs so you can work out, I thought this would be a great way to separate from him. The 1st day was fine, he did cry when he seen me through the window on my way to pick him up. The next day he wouldn't even let me put him down. I had to peel him away & bolt...he did stop crying before I went to work out but when I came down to shower I heard him SCREAMING. I felt so bad for the people in there that were watching him that I went & got him and didn't go shower. So my question is do I go back & try it again? I just feel so defeated these days & feel so bad for the people that have to listen to his high pitch scream the whole time.


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Merri - posted on 04/15/2010




I was a stay at home mom until my son was 18 months. He goes to a babysitter now but the first month of him going was tough. He would cry and throw tantrums. After the first week what I did was over the week I had him play in his room by himself and would seperate myself alittle bit at a time from him at home. Then when we would go i would allow him to bring something special like a toy. Doing that seemed to make the seperation a little easier. also try getting to whereever your going a little early and staying with him for a little while until he gets use to it. Also i make sure to tell him what time i will be back and when i get there I say see its 3 oclock and I am back

Caroline - posted on 04/15/2010




Maybe try little separations at home but talk to him about where you are going even if it is just to pop to the toilet. The awareness they have that you and he are two separate enitities has been realised and it is very scarey for them. My son is the same and it kicked in about that age. He is now 21 months and we still have times where he needs to know where I am to be near me but it has lessened to some degree. Once confident you do come back your son may be able to deal with longer separations better, and ones outside the home and his comfort zone x

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