My 21 month old wakes screaming at night help!!!

Adeana - posted on 05/29/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 21 month old wakes up screaming several times a night, it's also becoming a joke to even make him go to sleep. When I first put him to sleep, he will refuse to sleep, try everything to keep himself awake even though his eye lids are so heavy, and just continue to play for at least 2 hours before he eventually falls asleep. I have a set routine which I have been using since the day he was born as well. Now the wake ups are getting that bad that I dread night times to come. He will wake up at least 5 (if not more) times a night and will sit upright screaming. I'm sure the neighbors can hear him lol. I'm finding it very hard to sooth him and make him go back to sleep. He has been having these wakings since he turned one but are becoming more and more intense. Some people have said that it's night terrors, I have looked up night terrors and I just don't know if my son could really be having that many a night? Plus when he sits upright, he will call out to me or sometimes even get out of bed. His bottle is his security as well which I know is bad but I have tried my hardest to exchange his bottle for a sippy cup and he won't have a bar of it. I have been seeing my GP every fortnight as I'm getting very run down myself and feeling like a walking zombie everyday. Although my son does go to day care which they have told me that he goes to sleep/bed by himself and sleeps with no issues there, hearing this makes me want to scream and rip my hair out as I have tried everything I can to sooth him to sleep and he won't have a bar of it, not sure if its cause he sees other kids asleep there so he knows it's sleep time. My GP also sent us to QE which is a sleep clinic where I have 24/7 nurse care to help me and guide me with what to do. It lasts 5 days and it was useless. They set the same routine that I use everyday since that day he was born, they tried to take away his bottles all together which made that worse at night and just wasn't any help, yes it was great to have that someone there to turn to but once I was out and back at home in his own environment, we went back to square one and if not worse. My GP won't give me anymore answers as he just keeps telling me that one day he will just grow out of this, but I can't continue on like this for another year or months. Can anyone give me some ideas, help or anything on where to go from here? I'm loosing it and becoming very frustrated at night.

Thanks

Adeana

5 Comments

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Cmoline32 - posted on 05/30/2012

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So sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Have you tried a night light and/or light music? My daughter was waking up in the night acting afraid, we put a little owl night light in her room and that seemed to help.

Sara - posted on 05/29/2012

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Is he taking long naps...maybe he's going to bed too early if he's taking long naps...And night terrors from our experience, She would scream out (in terror) but really wouldn't be "awake" ... It's hard to know what to do & I can hear your "tiredness" in your email. My daughter is almost 4 and she still wakes up at least once a night for a 3am snack of yogurt...It's easier to give her 10 bites of yogurt & she goes right back to sleep than to try to ignore her or say NO and hear her cry for who knows how long...so do what you have to do & it will get better...Also, sometimes when she cries like that - the more you try to sooth her, the worse it is...Just go with your instincts & hopefully it will get better...

Adeana - posted on 05/29/2012

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Thanks Jenny
The book you recommended, I have bought already and have tried everything in that book with no avail, I have also bought other books which say the same thing. Not sure where to go from here, so confused on where to start with him. I have tried bringing ds into my bed to sleep but still screams and sometimes won't even sleep with me. He is a very active toddler which makes it hard to settle him.

Jenny - posted on 05/29/2012

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Adeana I'm so sorry and I feel terrible. I can feel how tired you are. It sounds like a nightmare. Children at different developmental stages will have different disturbances in their sleep. So even though you may have followed some sort of baby training technique when he was born, it doesn't ensure or mean that babies will sleep this way forever. I would recommend the book, " The No- Cry Sleep Solution", By Elizabeth Pantley. It sounds like you have been given a lot of advice from day one without much of your own instinct as mother being supported/validated. I would also let him keep his bottle for comfort and if people judge that- screw em! It's a source of comfort and right now there is no need to take that from him. Most important thing right now, is to get you some sleep. Is there anyone that can take ds for the night so that you can catch up on some sleep? At least some for now. Also if worst comes to worst before things can be figured out, you might need to consider putting his bed/crib in your room so that he knows mom is close. And if it's really at a crisis situation and feeling, you might want to try safe co-sleeping until something can be done. Sleep deprivation can be a monster and have some not so great effects on the relationship, including the child behaviors. When I got to such a bad place due to sleep deprivation I did what I needed to in order to get some sleep. I didn't care about books, dr.s thoughts or any one's thoughts at that time. I went with my instinct as a mother. And letting my son cio was not an option for me, personally. I would lower all expectations of yourself and your child right now. Go with your instinct, because you do have it!

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