my 2yr old is picking up annoying habbits from his 4yr old cousin, like crying to get his way..HELP!

Alicia - posted on 11/15/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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my son see that his 4 yr old cousin cries to get his way from his parents or get other kids in trouble for no reason, get toys to himself, and get thing when he wants, getting whatever he wants with no punishment, no consiquences for throwing a fit, so now after just being around him for 3 days, now the last 2 days, my son has been trying to do the same thing, but it only annoys me and really gets to my nerves...HOW DO I STOP IT OR WHAT CAN I DO, MY PATIENTS ARE BEGINING TO RUN SHORT! I have always taught my kids to share, play nice and play fair, and fits where never thrown over toys and especially not to get another kid in trouble just because they're playing with one of your toys or the toy you wanted at the time or even suddenly decided that you wanted it, but since he saw that it worked for one kid, now he's trying to do it to, I just don't know how to get him to see that it's wrong and shouldn't be done??

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Firstly , I'd speak to the cousin's parents and explain your problem to them. Tell them if they can't / won't fix it , you'll have no choice but to keep your child away from him. Raising children are hard enough as it is , bad influences just make it more difficult.
Otherwise : Authority born of love will give you obedience out of love.
Maybe I'm just old fashioned , but nothing beats a hiding. BUT they need to know the difference between a proper hiding and just a whack on the bum. Soon , you can just ask , "Do you want a hiding ?" They'll know exactly what you're talking about and stop their bad behaviour.
Ignoring doesn't help !
If you're in a public place other people get inconvenienced because you're ignoring your misbehaving child. Sort the child out and let him / her know it's unacceptable.
Also , the child's room should be a place of safety and comfort. If your way of handling bad behaviour is time out , it should be in a neutral place where there are no distractions. Surely in his / her room all the toys are readily available ? Where's the point in that ?

Jennifer - posted on 11/16/2009

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Well it is very hard to keep your temperand i totally understand. I have the same problem with my three year old. But you need to show him you will not tolorate that kind of behavior. Every time he acts out in a way you don't like put him in time out. In my own exsperance with my childern. once they are in time out they cry but when they stop crying i go to him and sit at his eye level and explain that i don't like that behavior. I ask him what is he going to do diffrentlly next time. After a one talk i notice that he doesn't seem to do that again. It happens often when we are out in public and i've noticed that if i remove him from the grocery store when it happens and give him a time out in the car with me, he understands that he cant (and i wont allow) him to control what is going on. It was really difficult for me at times to leave the store and interrupt my shopping but in the end he is at a point where we don't have to do that often. Now all i give is a warning and he will listen. they aren't too young to take away something they like. I just menchen that i will take away cartoon time and he understands how serious i am.

Kirsty - posted on 11/16/2009

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Your son is testing his boundaries, to see how far he can go to get his own way!
My son has been doing something similar. My son will be 3 in December. At the moment he yells at me and throws himself on the floor. You could try the naughty corner (or something like that) and see how that goes. My son hates the naughty corner and that works quite well!
If you have seen the show Super Nanny, Jo Frost shows you how to do it. I also think she has a book too.
See how you go!

Sarah - posted on 11/16/2009

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Ignore the fit. (easier said than done I know) He'll eventually learn it doesn't work for him.maybe if the other parents notice you not giving into maybe they will fallow. Tantrums are hard to brake once they become a habit. My daughter is a prime example of this. she 4 now we have a safe spot that she can go and be alone for a minute or so until shes ready to play nicely and with out the fits.

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Prachi - posted on 05/29/2013

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Isnt the association of your kids and his cousin far more valuable? All 2-3 yr olds will attempt this crying technique sooner or later ..... please dont distance the kids for this reason - let them bond. He will learn good things , bad things everything... but he has a cousin to share experiences with.. that is far too precious. Your parenting control issues seems very small

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