My 4 yr old is socially awkward.

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

I am absolutely heartbroken today! My son's teacher in preschool pointed out to me that he is somewhat awkward; I have a two year old who attracts a lot of attention from other kids when they go out to the playground , but he does'nt do so well. He likes being around other kids and loves to play; he is the politest little boy who plays well. I had to go pick him up from the playground today as he was giving my sister a hard time. He wanted to play with the other kids who were playing a little rough. The other kids didn't want to play with him even though he was'nt as rough as them. He was laughing and smiling but the other kids were busy with each other.

I was so frustrated, I was very stern with him and got him home; yelled at him for not listening to me; I am sitting in my room crying to myself now. Not sure what to do. I am a social person; my husband is shy but very confident - we're both physicians and I am actually an adult psychiatrist - who can't seem to deal with this well.

Please help me!!!!!!

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Lindsaybeach - posted on 01/07/2013

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I know i'm a little late on this post but i just thought i'd throw in a "i'm right there with you" type of thing. I have a five year old boy who is a little immature which sort of sets him behind with his peers when it comes to playing sports and just getting on in social situations. He also has a little speach impediment which can sometimes make it hard for others to understand him. it's happend to us a couple of times where we're at the playground and some kids won't want to play with him but other times when he finds a child who's about a year younger than him and they'll get along fine. I keep reminding myself that when I was a child (30+ years ago) nobody worried about the social skills of a five year old and I'm sure they turned out fine. It's my personal opinion that it's ok that my family and I are his only friends right now. When he gets older and still has problems then maybe I'll put a little more thought into it but for now I'm going to see if time and gaining some experience at school helps him out. I forgot, his pre-k teachers did bring up the words Aspergers Syndrom with me and sometimes we see some things that might go in that catagory but his kindergarten teacher hasn't said boo about it so I'm leaving that alone.

Amy - posted on 04/27/2012

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Did the teacher use the term socially awkward?? I think all kids that age are somewhat socially awkward, or maybe I say that because my son was that way. However that's why we sent him to preschool, was to socialize with kids his own age! He was never in daycare and he was advanced so even when we went to the playground he would gravitate towards the older kids because that's who he could relate too. His first few months on the playground he would stay with his teacher, she encouraged him to go play with the other kids but he always said "I'll just stay her in the shade with you". He eventually got better but he still does much better in a one on one setting. I think you need to give him time, and let him do things at his own pace. I'm not sure if you were yelling at him because he disobeyed your sister or because he's "socially awkward", but either way it probably didn't accomplish anything since it was so far after the fact. Also since you and your husband are physicians you should know that we don't all come from the same cookie cutter and have to accept that not everyone is outgoing and can relate people their own age.

Katherine - posted on 04/27/2012

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I say give the poor kid a break! Not all kids are social like that. He is trying obviously. Why don't you set up a playdate with one of the kids there? Maybe that would help.

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Gigi - posted on 01/08/2013

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If you see things that would indicate that your child could have Asperges you should have him tested to see whether that is true. Part of pre-school purpose is to detect children with asperges and so on, so they can be helped. The earlier you know, the more you can do for your child.

Lindsaybeach - posted on 01/07/2013

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I know i'm a little late on this post but i just thought i'd throw in a "i'm right there with you" type of thing. I have a five year old boy who is a little immature which sort of sets him behind with his peers when it comes to playing sports and just getting on in social situations. He also has a little speach impediment which can sometimes make it hard for others to understand him. it's happend to us a couple of times where we're at the playground and some kids won't want to play with him but other times when he finds a child who's about a year younger than him and they'll get along fine. I keep reminding myself that when I was a child (30+ years ago) nobody worried about the social skills of a five year old and I'm sure they turned out fine. It's my personal opinion that it's ok that my family and I are his only friends right now. When he gets older and still has problems then maybe I'll put a little more thought into it but for now I'm going to see if time and gaining some experience at school helps him out. I forgot, his pre-k teachers did bring up the words Aspergers Syndrom with me and sometimes we see some things that might go in that catagory but his kindergarten teacher hasn't said boo about it so I'm leaving that alone.

[deleted account]

I want to add today that I might sound like a horrible mother but I love my kids to death. He really is a happy smart boy.

I have had some rare days when I am a horrible mother, like yesterday. I made it about me, I was heart broken that the kids wanted to play with his 2 yr old sister not him.

It doesn't matter what the yelling was about, it was just wrong. I feel like I am failing my kids but I will keep trying to better myself.

Thanks for the feedback.

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