My 4yr old is bullying in pre-k

Stephy - posted on 12/12/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

4

0

1

My son started pre-k this year. The beginning he had some adjusting issues but he made friends fast and all was great until about 3 weeks ago. The one best friend has some how turned into my sons target!! (Heavy sigh) I do not condone this type of behavior and we are not aggressive in our home. His dad and him used to rough play but I have stopped that and since then we have tried to express to him the importance of keeping his hands to himself and thinking before acting.
It’s 3 weeks later and today’s action to the classmate is terrible. I have now punished him with no toys and no television and if he continues I will take his toys away and that’s it!
I don’t know if I’m being to hard but he’s very intelligent not because he’s my child but because he is!! I speak to him kind of like a grown up. I do not know why he is bullying!! What else can I do? Does punishment make it worse? How do I get him to stop? Are there bullying shows I can watch with him? I don’t know where to start.
Sending out an S.O.S

3 Comments

View replies by

Rachel - posted on 12/20/2017

1

0

0

Stephy - Oh those days I remember so well....my daughter, when she was young, did the same type of things to her friends of all people. It took a few times of observing her that I realized that she was trying to communicate her dislike of how she was being treated or how she wanted her friends to play. At their age they are just learning how to communicate and express their emotions. When misunderstood they get frusterated and naturally respond with what they do know how to do, use their body. Discipline in a loving, calm manner helps them learn that using our body to communicate what we want doesn’t work as well as our voice. Of course when your in the midst of seeing your child hit another child all you want to do is react with embarrassment and shame and sometimes anger. But stepping back and seeing it from their eyes and showing them how wrong it is to be unkind along with the proper punishment will help them learn boundaries and the right way of responding. Here is a good article that might help, http://bit.ly/2DgIlgp.

Hang in there mama it will start getting a little easier once he is able to learn healthy communication and how to treat others.

Hope this helps...
-Rachel

Kassie - posted on 12/15/2017

16

0

0

I am so sorry you are going through this, but know you are NOT alone!! I haven't really had to deal with my child being a bully (that anyone will tell me :), but maybe seek out a therapists advice? You may or may not actually continue seeing the therapist, but at least you can ask? They may have some great suggestions!
Prayers for you, you are doing a GREAT job!

Avidreader9559 - posted on 12/13/2017

8

0

0

Situations like this with our kids can be so difficult. Sometimes it is hard to determine where are kids are coming from and why they are doing the things we wish they wouldn't do. Since your son is 4, is it possible that he doesn't know how to handle his emotions yet? Is it possible that he hasn't yet developed the social skills needed to act in his current situation? Are there ways that you can come along side of him and help him learn appropriate behavior with this friend?
Sometimes with my kids if they spend too much time together, they get frustrated with each other. Is it possible that your son is spending too much time with the best friend? Could he spend more time with other kids? IMO taking things away at this age can be appropriate, but sometimes positive reinforcement can work better. For example, your son could earn time playing with this toy or that game if he has a good day at school. If you take too much away, he could feel like he can't live up to that standard and just act however he wants anyway. I hope this gives you some other avenues to pursue and that you can find what works best with your son. Blessings!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms