My daughter just turned 2 and I need some help?

Michelle - posted on 05/06/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My daughter turned 2 yesterday I have 2 issues, I have been trying to get her off breast milk as my body can't take it anymore, she is off during the day, I put her down to bed without it, and usually if she wakes up before I go to bed she doesnt get it, its during the night that she gets it, (this is also the other issue) she sleeps in my partner and my bed still, I love it sometimes, but would love some room to move and sleep comfortable, however I literally dont remember getting up to get her at night or anything like that its as if I do it in my sleep (im pretty sure its because im exhausted), my partner has told me that I do get up to get her she doesnt just come in. My partner is no help so its not an option, I dont know what to do as I am getting (for lack of a better word) shit from everyone (my partner and his family mainly but i get looks from anyone I tell) about her sleeping in our bed and still getting breastmilk. Any advice would be really great.



I appreciate all the advice however keep in mind the issues are: first one is I want her OFF the breast, as my body cant handle it, and I want her OUT of my room, you could possibly add advice on getting my partner to help ive tried everything and nothing works. Thanks everyone.

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Vicki - posted on 05/07/2012

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Ok, first of all, the idea of a dairy milk addiction developing out of breastfeeding is ludicrous. I know many families in our community here who have breastfed well past 2 and that's never come up. Some of them are even vegan, no chance of dairy milk addiction there! Breastmilk and dairy milk are different things. I've heard lots of silly reasons for not breastfeeding toddlers but that's a new one!

Michelle I can completely understand wanting to wean. My boy is nearly 3 and still feeding but I'm over it sometimes as well. I'm not going to completely wean him yet but have put more boundaries in place according to what feels right with MY body. He is also fine without me, I do 12 hour shifts, one day and one night a week and he's fine, just asks for boob when I'm there, fair enough.

A friend of mine had success using the suggestions in this article about night weaning http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleepp... There is also good info at www.breastfeeding.asn.au and kellymom.com. Best wishes with your journey :)

Amy - posted on 05/06/2012

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Angelina just because a child breastfeeds beyond the age of one does not mean she is going to develop a milk addiction! It's common in many cultures to breastfeed till the child self weans and sometimes the natural duration is 4+ years. Besides a child still needs dairy so you would switch her to whole milk, or find alternative sources to offer.

My question for you Michelle is are you ready to wean? Take out all other factors and what other people say is it something you want to do? My daughter is 2 years and 2 months she has for the most part weaned except for maybe one feeding in the middle of the night when she climbs into bed with us, she just comes in I don't go get her. I know it's uncomfortable to talk about extended breastfeeding especially with non supporters so the only person who knows is my husband, my son, and my parents. It's no ones business but ours.

If your partner isn't going to help then tell him to stuff it :) If you want tips on how to night wean check out Kelly mom, it's a website dedicated to breastfeeding and it has lots of great tips for just about every problem you can encounter. Good luck and remember you're not the only mom who has breastfed beyond the age of one.

Janice - posted on 05/06/2012

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First of all don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Many people bed share and continue to breastfeed into the pre-school years and it is a personal choice.
However, it sounds like YOU are ready to be done with both these things and that is okay too. You need to choose which you want to work on first. I night weaned and stopped co-sleepin with my daughter at 10 months (I still BF till 17 months, I just night weaned 1st).
I started by refusing to feed her after her initial bedtime. When she woke during the night I would cuddle her in bed but no breastfeeding. Of course she was upset at first but it took only a week for her to stop looking to latch on in the middle of the night. Once she was sleeping with out nursing I started sleep training in her crib. She always napped and spent the 1st few hours in her crib anyways so when she woke I would go in and hug her and comfort her but I didnt take her out of her crib. I basically let her cry it out but I stayed with her so she wouldn't feel abandoned. It took under 2 weeks to get her to sleep thu the night with out me.
Also my hubby was not helpful either. A few of the rough nights I would get frustrated and if daddy had to step in he always caved and rocked her to sleep. He is still a sucker for her now at 2.5 too ;)

Good luck!

Standra - posted on 05/07/2012

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I also stopped breast feeding my son when was 2 weeks before turning 2. The only reason was because I had his brother. Anyway, I was doing to get him to sleep just like you. So I basically had to be paitient with him because he would cry every night before going to sleep. His father or I would rock him to sleep, and it would take a while but eventually he stopped asking for it. It's going to be a process but you can't give in and you have to be paitient.

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Michelle - posted on 05/07/2012

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Angelina, I dont want her on the boob anymore, Ive never heard of milk or dairy addiction and I have done research into if it is harming her and there is no harm in breast feeding past 1, also she does not have any issues being by herself she goes off and plays by herself, I go to work and she is fine whether she goes to daycare or stays home that day so I strongly believe she does not have any sort of issues in that area. Thanks though. Thanks Amy, Katherine and Janice, I have had the talk with my partner but he is like a child and turns around and lists all his problems (which is constant as he always has some sort of illness or health issue he is a bit of a hypochondriac)

Katherine - posted on 05/07/2012

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A dairy milk addiction????? What is that? It's VERY healthy for her to BF beyond 1. They thrive and get a lot of nutrients that way. If I could have done it I would have.

Your partner needs to help, hands down. Mine didn't help and I had to give him the talk lol. I could NOT do it alone. I was so exhausted. There is nothing wrong with breast feeding after 2. And kellymom.com is a great site.

Angelina - posted on 05/06/2012

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I never said every child WILL develop these things. I said could. i also said it was ultimitly their(the parents) decision to do what they want with their kids. Just do the research to be sure you know all the facts to make a well informed decision on what you think the best decision for your children. If it sounded as if i was saying what anybody should or shouldn't do with their children i apologize that was not my intention. If i came across as if< "I KNOW FOR A FACT" if you do "that" ... "this" is going to happen to your children for sure> i am also sorry as i did not intent for it to sound that way. I thought i had worded my comment carefully and i am truly sorry if i offended anybody in any way.
If you knew me you would know that i am not a malicious person nor do i ever tell anybody(other than my daughter) what to do. It is ALWAYS the child's parents decision. I simply try to offer my input and knowledge, if it is of no use or do not agree than thats fine and you can do what you want.
Again i want to apologize if i offended you(Amy) and say I respect your decisions for your children. And that every child is different just as every parent is different and finding what works best for every individual family is hard and knowing what others have done in similar situations can help parents find a suitable solution for them. Thank you for your input, and thank you for letting me know i needed to be more clear in my words.

Amy - posted on 05/06/2012

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Oh and we also co sleep with our oldest when he wants it works for us. Cosleeping doesn't work for every family and that's fine. My oldest is 6 and has anxiety so it actually makes him more independent because he knows we'll always be there for him.

Angelina - posted on 05/06/2012

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I know you love your daughter and want her to always wannt/need you. If my body had let me i would have breast fed my daughter till she was 1yr. As a child passes 1 yr old their body starts to lose its ability to process milk. Potentially you could be setting her up to have a dairy milk addiction as she gets older(which isnt healthy). Just a warning but you can do what you want as far as that part is concerned. I miss sleeping in the same bed as my daughter sometimes. I found that my lack of a good sleep was causing gaps in my day time parenting. I suggest that if she stays in her room you need to learn to leave her be and stay in your room. Not doing so can cause future separation anxiety issues. As she gets older she could become more and more unable to be apart from you, and as she gets older you will find that you want or need your space while doing something that could be important. I suggest that you at least teach her independence and alow her to choose if she wants to continue to be by your side. But think what continuing this routine could do to her self esteem as a teen or adult or even just in grade school. All in all she is your child and you make the decisions, but since you love her as much as you tell us you show her, at the very least do some research on the dairy milk addiction and the separation anxiety and see what the repercussions of your actions could be.

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