My heart broke at daycare today....it seemed like I should report it!

[deleted account] ( 33 moms have responded )

My 22 month old daughter goes to a Mothers Day Out Program at a Baptist Church, Private School near our house. Two days a week til noon and til 2 if you want them to take naps. Shes been there since the Fall and alot of the teachers are youn and dont have kids but one of them. I saw they were hiring for those two days while a teacher was on maternity leave and got the job. TOday was my first day teaching in the 16-18mth class. Another girl who informed me she had done nanny jobs for six years but has no children of her own, showed me the ropes. WHen it came to naptime I was very upset as she showed no compassion or patience. Her class is crawling and walking so i think they are around a year old. We combined classes at naptime. She told me they had to take naps. SHe turned off the lights and i found a stereo with soothing music. They dont even take off the kids' shoes and they are rough with them, they I mean she was. I soothely patted one little boy as he laid down and sang to him in his crib. My other little girl went straight to sleep and then there was one baby boy left who wouldnt. he wasnt being bad, just sitting in his crib with a blanket. I sang to him and a laid him down a few times but his mother told me he doenst take naps and if he didnt then to give him milk in his sippie cup. Not to make him nap he could at home if he was tired. SO, i was just going to let him sit there until he was tired. She went up and down the rows of baby beds forcing the kids to lay down holding them down, patting their backs hard, like you would a gassy baby who cant burp. I got upset when she stepped in while i was rubbing his back and singing to him. I told her what the mom said and she rolled her eyes. She laid himon his belly and his face was facing the wall and she held his head down with her elbow and began to pat his back hard like the others. I wanted to leave then and find the admistrator in the office or something. I do not agree with forcing babies and kids to sleep or eat, it makes it a tramatic experience. He never went to sleep, but she is rough with them. The one baby i sweet talked and sang to went right to sleep. I did try to rock the baby boy that she held down before she got ahold of him. He was not tired. She told me he will nap,if not he rocks his crib and wakes everyone up. He did that the last five minutes of the hour and a half we were in the nap room. WHat do i do? My heart is broken because if she did that to my baby id be upset. I told her that too. I said what his mother said and she said they have to nap, i said i hope they dont force my baby to nap down there in her classroom, i dont agree with that. She didnt say anything.

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Very Concerned - posted on 07/22/2014

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my daughter who just turned 6 came home today and told me that her daycare teacher took her by the arms and held her down and screamed in her face and 'she bust my ear drum' she said, then my almost 9 yr old daughter told me that 'it's true mommy & I told her to call home'.....I am so upset, this teacher is always yelling at the daycare kids when I show up there, and she even said last week that my daughter wouldn't nap in the airconditioned room so she took her to a room not air conditioned (29degrees) outside, but I didn't; think much about that until the episode today, now I am wondering what to do....

Tiana - posted on 04/21/2014

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I think you should report,if your son has such fears it means he is being harshly treated. That's not what you are paying for.you either lodge a Serious complain or withdraw your child.

Lillian - posted on 08/01/2014

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First, I will say that you cannot have the same rules for daycare as home. At home you are on your on with your own child or children. In licensed daycare you are dealing with a room full of children from all different backgrounds and home care situations. Also, you are regulated and checked by DHS rules. Having cups and bottles in a bed can be dangerous when you are dealing with trying to pay attention to a room full of young babies or children. There is a choking issue to consider. At home you can more closely monitor your child or children. I do not believe in forcing children to do much of anything at these ages. You do have to maintain order and it is difficult when a couple of children are awake and squirming and making noise. But this is just part of the work. I have been in many daycare rooms where these young women were yelling at children. I don't like it either. And I have seen many things I disagree with. The answer to this problem is to require experience and education in early childhood from all hired staff. Examples are getting a CDA or Early childhood degree. More and more this is getting to be the norm. I do not have these degrees but I am near retirement now and I have had years of experience and good references. However, if I were younger, I would get some kind of degree. I have had many teacher training hours. I feel we need to require
more from hired staff. They should be professionally oriented, not just looking for a wage somewhere. We are not supposed to be just "baby sitters". We are entrusted with the lives of children. This is a serious responsibility. We don't need little girls or boys who just want to make their hours and get off quick to go party. Let them work in fast food if this is all they care about. It would be easier.

Morgan - posted on 04/23/2014

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Defiantly report it now. That is NOT a way to get a child to take a nap. If my daughter went there and she came home with ANY bruises I would be livid and make a report immediately. It may cost your job but in the long run it will help the children there receive care they deserve.

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Asher - posted on 04/23/2014

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This is horrible and heartbreaking. Makes me so happy that I am a stay-at-home Mummy and that my children will never see the walls of a daycare. Not all daycares are like this-but I've heard countless horrible stories of how the workers there treat the children with total disregard-including pinching,yelling at them, and etc. Most of the women who work there do NOT have children so of course they will not handle them with care-its very sad and unfortunate.

Sarah - posted on 04/21/2014

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This is seriously my biggest fear. I'm thinking of going back to school but my baby is 8 months. Man I would be sooooo mad! I rock my baby to sleep still and I can't imagine what she would think if she was held down.

Tatiana - posted on 09/16/2013

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Hi there,

My son has been at this daycare for 2,5 months and he never cried or complained after I dropped him off. Last friday he complained he cried a lot and this morning after I dropped him off as soon as he saw one of the workers he had a melt down. he didn't want to stop crying or didn't want me to leave.
My concern is that he is a pretty good boy and he takes advices well but I got concerned after that. What should I do? Should I just keep my eye on him or talk to the the manager there? I am sad and confused.

Bethany - posted on 09/21/2012

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omg what the fuck! you so did the right thing no child should be forced to sleep if they dont want to! i actually started feeling sick reading what u had posted and the fact that you trusted them with your child made me feel for you in a way only a mum could! regardless of how long this "girl" had been caring for children and even not having her own makes me think that if she ever did would that child survive, as a mum who sends her child to a daycare where there are stringent laws i have felt safe leaving him there but now i wanna stop in and check, we had a biting issue that seems to have been solved by the child being removed from that class to another (but did it fix the problem? i dont know) i do trust in the carers but now i have a fear that my trust is naive, no matter who much i dont want it to be)

all i can say is you did the right thing and the children are benefiting from it and i just hope that you stick to your guns and if they make your life hell then make theirs worse! im sure bulling in the workplace is unexceptable no matter where you work!

Janice - posted on 03/09/2012

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I'm a bit shocked by the fact that nothing happened. I just want to say it is not like that everywhere. If that happened where I worked the girl would have been fired. And leaving kids is illegal in the daycare setting! That would also be grounds for immediate dismissal. I am also shocked by the child teacher ratio standards in some states.

Here in NY

6weeks to 18 mo. - 4:1

18 mo. to 35 mo. - 5:1

3 yrs 7:1

4 yrs 8:1



Renee you are very lucky to find a daycare with ratios that are better than state regulation. I hope this new place woks out and restores your faith in others :)

[deleted account]

Well Lori, its obvious between certain hours they know the parents arent going to be coming in so they pretty much do whatever they want. but when the parents are dropping off and picking up kids they are all smiles and hugs to the kids and very sweet. It doesnt mean that when youre not there they are still handling kids roughly. I saw it first hand. after the four weeks i was there, i didnt want to be apart of it. i since left after the girl wasnt disciplined or fired. the teacher i subed for came back from maternity and i enrolled my little one in a program similar at a different place where they dont take naps. this is where the teachers got to physical i saw. plus there are two teachers always in the class with the eight children. in the other class it was one teacher with eight kids. who would leave them unattended to go to the office or bathroom or use their phones in the hallway. so i feel safer at the other place.

i would do a surprise pickup where they dont expect you. or bring your daughters sippie cup for lunch and say you packed the wrong cup she wont drink out of it unless its the one you forgot. do something like that once a week to where they know you are unpredictable and could pop up anywhere. even if its half a day or full day. reporting it to another teacher isnt going to get anywhere as usually they are all friends as i found out by reporting this girl. they all turned on me the next day because she was confronted by the adm lady. Too many bad things happen in daycares so if you have the oppertunity to put your child in one that has cameras you can log onto anytime then that would be great.

Lori - posted on 03/08/2012

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There is an aide at my daughters daycare that I have seen handle two of the kids roughly. I informed my daughters teacher about what I saw and told her that I didn't like it and that I didn't want her to do that to my child. If I see her do it again I am going to the director(s) and voice my concerns. Mistreating children in any way should not be tolerated. Inform as many people as you can and start looking for another daycare for your child. That is what I would do. Good luck.

Gabrielle - posted on 03/08/2012

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I would find out who all the mothers are and talk to them about how she treats the babies. They should know that she is doing that to their babies. I am always worried about what someone is going to do to my children. Thats why I stay at home and raise them myself. At least that way I know what happens to them during the day and they are being raised the way my husband and I want them to be raised.

CJ - posted on 03/04/2012

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That's like the daycare I worked in for awhile, but it wasn't the worker's it was the owner. She had many rules I did not agree with, and was in the end the reason I left. She ended up getting shut down 6 months after I left when one of her worker's walked off her shift, leaving the kids there alone for an hour before a parent showed up and found them, the oldest kid was 6 yrs old. But she had rules about bed time like that. All the kids had to lay on mats on the foor and sleep (unless they were young enough to be in a crib). We weren't allowed to rock or hold any of the kids to help them get to sleep (even the babies). They were just laid down in a dark room and told to go to sleep. Most of the workers (including me) broke the nap time rules and would rock the ones who needed rocked, and rub other's backs, or hum lullabyes. And for the older ones (the daycare had kids newborn-9 yrs all together in one group) we tended to let them lay down and watch a movie quitely in the front room while the other kids napped so they didn't wake them rather than force them to lay down and try to nap, when they obviously were too old to be taking naps. All kids go to sleep differently. Now my daughter has to be put in her room, alone, with quiet music playing to get her to sleep. She's always been an especially difficult child when it comes to sleeping. She's three now, but when she was a baby, she would not sleep anywhere but on me, and it took us until she was a year and a half to get her to sleep in her crib (just in time to move her to a toddler bed). As for how forceful that lady you were talking about is with the kids, I'd definantly talk to someone higher up about it....that's not right at all. And if the parents specifically tell the person watching their kid that they don't take naps, they need to respect the parents wishes.

Wendy - posted on 03/04/2012

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Be strong, you are doing the right thing to protect the well being of these children. If it happens again tell the parents when they come to pick up their kids. When the admin gets complaints from a bunch of parents they will likely fire her.

Andrea - posted on 03/01/2012

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If the daycare isn't going to get rid of the girl or take the necessary steps to improve the way the children are being treated then I would tell the parents. Word of mouth can be most powerful when it comes to clientele....



A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

~Mahatma Gandhi

Janice - posted on 02/18/2012

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Daycare can be a rough environment to work in considering the pay. I live in NY and the standards are very strict. Teachers absolutely can not leave their classrooms. Another teacher must come in to relieve them even when the children are sleeping. And being understaffed is the norm.

[deleted account]

once it was reported and the adm lady and her assistant came into the nursery for nap time, i did notice the other girl barely patting the babies to sleep. I wish they would of gotten rid of her because its liable to happen again. since then, her and the other girls have treated me rudely and nitpicking how i do things with my classroom. so, i knew if i spoke up they would act that way. because the administration couldnt ignore my complaint and she and i were the only ones in that room when it happened. i think they are understaffed and didnt make the right choice by keeping her on. none of the other four teachers seem to be compasionate or loving, even in my littl girls room. but when i go on break i pop my head in to see whats going on and the teacher sees me doing that, she knows im watching how things are being done. ive noticed how at naptime they leave the classroom to go get drinks or talk toother teachers or work on projects but in the manual it says to check the children every ten minutes during naptime. this could be for fevers or choking or anything but the first two weeks i was there, i didnt have lunch or breaks everyday, i ate when my class ate and waited til they went home at 2 to use the restroom. so i may have some adjusting myself to do instead of always going into new situations trying to change them, though im trying ot do whats right and better things.

Samantha - posted on 02/17/2012

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i taught daycare same age before i had my son... but we were not allowed to hold them down. we would sit next to the kids that had a harder time falling a sleep and do what they need. some kids just needed you to be there others needed you to rub there back or head (softly) we had 18+ kids everyday with 3 adults for nap time and it never a time to get nasty with them. Im glad you reported it i always think of those kids as my own when there parents arent there. if you dont stand up for them who will.

[deleted account]

oh i understand. if i were you i would stop in a different times if i were you. before i worked there, i would go get my little girl at different times even though pickup time was at 2. when they have lunch at 1130 i showed up at that time to see how the teacher handled feeding all those little ones by herself. and during nap time to see if she was looked after while she slept.

User - posted on 02/03/2012

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you did the right thing by reporting it! again please dont take offense to my earlier post.. yesterday was my daughters first day in daycare.. its a church day care in my county as well.. it would make my blood boil if that hapened to my daughter

[deleted account]

Well its called a crying room, our mothers day out program is within a church. so all the rooms for the kids are divided up by age up until pre school aged. its two days a week til 2pm. so if one doesnt nap in the room with his class, we go to another room that is empty to play or read books. thats where i took him today so we read a book and i gave him a bottle and rocked him.

Janice - posted on 02/02/2012

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There is a crying room? Interesting.

Anyways, I'm glad you said something. Although she didnt get fired, hopefully she was scared by the boss enough (as in they said she could be reported and go to jail) to never do it again.

[deleted account]

well i did email the administrator lady in charge of all six classes. she told me if the little boy couldnt take a nap then someone has to take him to the crying room during naptime. so i sat with him today. she sat in with that girl along with two other assistants with the rest of the children and of course the girl who did the forceful elbow thing, sat in the rocking chair with another little kid the whole time and didnt touch any children. . I do know she called her to the office today but i do not know what happened.

User - posted on 02/02/2012

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If someone were doing that to my child.. holding her head down with their elbows.. id probably take my elbow into her mouth.. that is awful.. u need to report that and if u dont ur just as guilty.. not being rude. but if it bothers you that much.. u know the right thing u need to do... that is terrible.. they r babies and do not know any different..if she doesnt have the patience to tend to small children she need not work with them.. my opinion

[deleted account]

I just sent an email to the administrator, I didnt know how to approach it since it was my first day. But, I couldnt think about how i would feel from the other teachers, I had to think about that poor baby. I did tell his mom that the other teacher said he had to take a nap and couldnt have his sippie cup. So we will see what the administrator has to say.

I am new and Im afriad they wont take me seriously, but i am also a mom of a toddler that takes naps there with other teachers.

Sarah - posted on 01/31/2012

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I would be having a discussion with the administrator and the parent. If I found out my child's head was being forcibly held down with someone's elbow, I'd be reporting them to the police for abuse! She should not be working with children.

Amanda - posted on 01/31/2012

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You need to tell the admin. This is crazy. She held his head down with her elbow? That sounds a lot like abuse to m!

Janice - posted on 01/30/2012

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You must say something! Her holding down babies like that is abuse! You can not force a child to sleep! Do not let this continue. I understand the frustration of getting multiple little ones to sleep but her frustration is now being taken out on babies and that's not okay.



As for the cup and shoes - I worked in daycare and NY regulation requires shoes for all walking children at all times, even nap and no bottles or cups are ever allowed in cribs or on mats. Plain and simple its the law. So that may not have been just her being mean.

[deleted account]

i know! Im just sick about it, Ive cried all afternoon since ive been home. That I didnt protect him. To tell her to stop.

Nicky - posted on 01/30/2012

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omg. i would turn her in! what she is doing is not right by any means she should not be aloud to work with these small children, they cant defend themselves and cant tell anyone what is going on..something needs to be done with this girl!! i can guarentee that none of those small babies parents would be happy to hear about this. they should be notified and that girl should be turned in and fired! my child doesnt even go there and this story has me very very upset!!

[deleted account]

SHe wouldnt let him have his sippie cup of milk either. My little one takes a sippie cup of milk with her to nap and shes almost two. She told me they werent allowed tohave milk in there. Maybe for infants to not have propped up bottles but these babies were 18 months like i said. So, what the mother asked for and wanted was ignored though I tried to enforce it. It makes me upset. i told the mother when she came to pick him up, that he didnt nap, they wouldnt let me give him his milk that it wasnt allowed and that the other girl kept trying ot force him to sleep. That if she didnt want him to stay for naptime to let the office know.

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