My son cannot stand to be away from his father.

Laura - posted on 05/30/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son is 3. His father and I are not married but we remain very close friends. There is a lot of love between the three of us. However, my son is going through a phase now where it almost seems painful for him to separate from his Daddy for any length of time. We share custody 50/50 (split the work week and every other weekend). I am so grateful my son's father is (in my humble opinion) the best father on the planet but I am also a wonderful mother. Once we get back to my house (or even before, on the car ride home), he is fine and is all about me. But it's SO hard on everyone at pick up time because he throws such a gut wrenching fit. If anyone else has been through this and has any suggestions, please let me know. I'm at a loss......

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Elfrieda - posted on 05/30/2012

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That must be hard. My 2 year old is a Daddy's boy, too. He always has been. But since we're together, he sees him every day and I don't have to worry about "Is it my parenting? Am I doing something wrong?". (sometimes I do, but nobody else is questioning it at least)

These days we have a meltdown with tears and screaming and banging on the door pretty much every morning when he leaves for work. :( It seems to go in phases of a month or so long, where he's devastated for a month, and then only mildly upset for a month, then insists on playing on the front porch so he can wave bye-bye for a month, then we're back to devastated, etc.

I don't have any suggestions other than just to give yourself some positive self-talk, which it seems like you're doing, and just be matter-of-fact about it and do what needs doing without trying to reason with your son. "You had a great time with Daddy, didn't you? I'm glad you like Daddy so much. Now you're coming with Mommy. We are going to go to the park now, and then we'll make supper." Maybe something fun after every pick-up will ease the transition a bit.

Cmoline32 - posted on 05/30/2012

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My daughter is almost 2 and she gets very attached to whomever she is with at the time. My husband and I went on a date a week ago and when we got back she wouldn't come to either of us, only wanted the babysitter, and threw a fit when the sitter left. I know this is a hard thing. I would just suggest talking to your son about how he will see Daddy again soon. Just try to stay positive and maybe have something fun or distracting for him so that he might not be so focused on being upset about leaving. It's great that he loves his Daddy so much though!

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