My son doesnt acknowledge his dad as his dad.. he just got out of jail..what to do?

Nicky - posted on 07/01/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Well I posted before about my sons dad getting out of jail soon and hasnt seen my son in over 2 years and I didnt know what to do. Well know he's out and he came to visit my son 3 days after he was released. My son doesnt know him as his father. When he told my son he was his dad my son said "no..he's my dad" (meaning my bf) IDK what to do. Today he came and visited him for about 10 minutes and my son still doesnt think of him as his dad. My son calls him "that man". I dont want to pound it into his head that he is his dad because hes never been there for him. I also dont believe he will keep coming to visit. Hes visited him 2x in 2 weeks for only about 10 mins each time. I dont want to pound it in his head because I dont believe he will see him much more and I also dont want to confuse him. What should I do? I really need help with this. My bf has been there for my son since he was 1 1/2 yrs old. So hes all my son has known as a father figure. He is now 4. My son doesnt call him dad, he actually calls him "babe" because thats what he hears me call him. Its actually adorable..lol But anyway what do I do about his bio dad? Any help would be great!!

3 Comments

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Julie - posted on 07/03/2012

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you all need to be patient and let a relationship between father and child build again. spending time together as a family and the father taking the child out to the park etc will be needed too. it will take time but they need to form a bond again and this can only be done by spending time together

Megan - posted on 07/02/2012

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Im in a situation similar to this. I have been raising my 1 yr old nephew for about 4 months while his mother was in jail. Now she is out and even though he does seem to recognize her he still looks at me like his "mommy". I have never told him any different than I am his aunt but hes young and doesnt understand which Im sure even though your son is older it is still very confusing for him. I told my sister that she would just have to visit more often and rebuild her relationship with him slowly and eventually her role in his life would change in his eyes, but this is going to take time. If you sons father really wants to have a father son relationship with him after being gone for so long he is going to have to put the time and effort into it. There truely isnt much you can do except encourage him to come and spend time with your son.

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