My toddler is so mean to her sister! Is this normal?

Miriam - posted on 07/29/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




I just want to get some feedback from other parents of toddlers - my eldest daughter is 3 next week and her little sister is 10 months. My toddler is sometimes so sweet to her little sister, but more often than not it's "Don't touch me!" or "Take away!" as she snatches up a toy her sister is playing with. She also will push my youngest over when she has pulled up on furniture. The baby doesn't seem to mind, but I DO! It just seems so mean-spirited, and I'm not sure if there is something I'm supposed to do other than remind my older daughter that we don't push and that she should find another toy for the baby if she wants what the baby has. I'm the youngest of my family, but my older brother and I NEVER got along as kids and I'm a little worried that my toddler's behavior will continue.


Louise - posted on 07/29/2011




This is quite normal for an older child to behave like this, they are suddenly realising that your youngest is developing and can do the same as them for example walk or get around. She is establishing herself as top dog that is all, but that does not mean you should let her get away with it. If she is unkind to her sister send her to the naughty step and after her three minutes get down to her level and explain what she has done wrong and enforce the fact that her sister is only small and needs her big sister to look after her not hurt her.

She probably only reacts like this with your younger daughter and not other children her age. She will snap out of this eventually and realise that having a little sister is fun and when your daughter is old enough to play properly with her then things will settle down.

Jami - posted on 08/01/2011




I have the same thing in my house except vice versa, my daughter is 2and 1/2 and my son is 1 and 1/2, And in my house it is the youngest who does the same thing as your elder, he bites her back or arm out of no where while she was busy playing or watching tv, and he thinks every toy she has belongs to him and takes away from her, and he is strong every time he wins then my eldest run and come to me for help. Eventually, me and my husband decided to learn my daughter how to defend herself from biting, snatching, and pushing, we told her to protect herself if he grab her randomly to do the same so that he is aware of she is not scared of him but if he comes nice and easy to share her toys as he is her brother. by taking the same response he does if he takes of her staff, and we are still working on that but seems he is frighting her a little than before. And i think what you should do with your daughter depends on how she is willing to react with her youngest sister try to tell her sharing is a good thing, and fun to have a younger sister, make a play time and play with them peekaboo, sing them songs and little by little she will learn to get along with her sister. Good luck


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Joy - posted on 08/09/2011




This sounds like my 2 sons 3 1/2 years and 20 months. We taught our oldest to trade toys with our youngest that way the oldest could have his toy with out being mean to his brother and now our youngest is starting to trade without us teaching or prompting him. Also maybe your older daughter would enjoy some playtime by herself with her favorite toys or maybe get her something special to play with in her room (not as time out, just time with out little sister), my oldest had gotten Thomas the train set so he would go up to play with his train in his room while our youngest stayed downstairs with us.

Katherine - posted on 07/29/2011




My 5.5 year old is really mean to my 2.5yo. She get's a lot of time outs. I think it's jealousy personally.

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