NC Parent rights when child has fathers last name

Shyanna - posted on 09/05/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm only 19 years old I have a 3 year old and he has my last name, don't wanna give all my business out cause I'm new to this and this is my first time asking for others opinions online. Please be 100% honest with me. I am expecting to have our second child in October with the same person, he wants me to give our unborn baby and our 3 year old son his last name. I'm not really comfortable with doing it just because we aren't married and not to say he would but I wouldn't put it pass him trying to take my kids away from me. My question is, if me and him aren't married and I do decide to give our baby his last name is he able to take my child(ren) away from me and get full custody? Just because the baby has his last name and his name is on the birth certificate? Please I really need help here, my family is telling me not to do so, because it can and will happen. Me on the other doesn't see him doing that but then again he's a abusive person mentally and verbally. The type to do things out of anger and not think during the process. Please help me.

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Raye - posted on 09/08/2015

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The last name does not matter regarding custody. The father has some rights no matter what name the child has, if it can be proven with DNA that he is the father. Having his name on the birth certificate would only take out the step where he would have to get a DNA test. Either way, he has rights to be in his children's lives.

What you need to do with the child that you already have is go to court and get everything spelled out as to what the father's rights are. You should get primary custody, but he should get visitation so he can form a relationship with his child. When the new baby is born, go back to court and get custody for you and visitation for him. Having court orders is the only protection you have. If you only have a notarized agreement (as Hailee suggested) that's not worth the paper it's written on, and the police can't help you if the father took off with the kids. Police can only uphold court orders.

If you're not comfortable with the father, and he's not a good person, stop having kids with him.

Hailee - posted on 09/07/2015

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No matter the childs last name if the father is on the birth certificate he has rights to the child. WRITE EVERYTHING. This is the best advice, write everything down, if he's helped you support them, if he hasn't, anytime he does something unfit as a parent. I'm going through the same thing right now and sadly, if he were to come take the kids without yall having a custody agreement that has been notarized, you can't do anything. It's terrifying but just know that he can't get full custody unless he can go to court and prove you to be an unfit parent. Like if he has proof you abuse alcohol, drug use, abusive to the kids. The state won't grant him full custody unless he has a lot of proof!! Again, i'm in the same boat, hang in there and just be the best mommy you can be!

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