Need any and all help possible to sleep train my 20 month old!

Sara - posted on 07/21/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom that lives with my parents. I have an amazing 20 month old who is my world! He is a really good kido. My only issue with him his sleep! His crib is in my room because like i said we live with my parents. I have tried letting him cry himself to sleep but it ends with him getting so incredibly upset that he throws up. I have tried the whole bed time ritual also that doesnt work. There are only 2 ways I can get him to go to sleep. The first is to just let him fall asleep in the living room and carry him to bed and the other is to lay with him in my bed until he falls asleep. Our other problem is that he wakes up in the middle of the night around 2 or 3. I can get him back to sleep without giving him a sip-pee cup only if I put him in the bed with me and we both go back to sleep together but this has to stop! I want my bed back! Please share your wise guidance or things you have tried that wont work for your kido but might for mine.
Thanks!!!

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Sarah - posted on 07/21/2012

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I didn't have many problems with getting my daughter to initially fall asleep. We did have to let her cry when she started waking in the night though. We would check on her after 5 mins of crying by going into her room and silently patting her back, laying her down and then leaving again within 30 seconds or so. Usually this would result in harder, louder crying! And then 5 mins later we would do the same thing. Then moved it to 10 mins for 2 times, 15 mins and so on. She never cried past the 30 mins. But this took about 2 weeks! Longest 2 weeks but totally worth it. She never wakes in the middle of the night anymore. After that it totally stopped. She finally realized that whenever we came in it wasn't worthwhile for her anyway.. we were still there somewhere, but not going to stay with her. And I wouldn't worry about easing into it. We went to this method after about 2 weeks of her crying in the night without finding something that worked. You have to be strong though and use a timer! Good luck!

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Lisa - posted on 07/31/2012

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I also just let mine fall asleep in the living room. For a long time she would wake and come to my bed, recently she just stopped and stays the whole night in her own bed. she is 2.5 years old now.

Belinda - posted on 07/24/2012

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Im no expert but if theyre not going to sleep theyre not going to sleep. This whole cry it out thing ended up in my daughter being sick too, mind she has severe reflux so thats not any great feat. I know its easier said than done given your situation but it sounds to me like hes having attachment issues, he needs his own room. It doesnt really sound like thats an option for you though so unfortuanatly you just need to ride it out. I Avoid stimulating things before bed and stick to the quiet things like books puzzles etc which im sure you already do then when its bed time its bed time. I put her down give her 15 mins to settle (trying any longer than this for us is a waste of time if shes not quiet by then she isnt going to) then I get her up let her pick a new bedtime story or let her sit quietly and watch a short cartoon telling her once its finished shes going back to bed. I give her a chance to do this and calm down and she usually goes straight down. For us its a comprimise and a chance for her to calm down, its so hard for her to settle after getting that wound up. When she wakes in the middle of the night I have to do the same thing anything else is a waste of time. Its annoying getting up for 15-20mins but i know she will go down after. I stuck to the same thing everytime and she soon learnt it wasnt worth a few extra mins so she would just go down and stay down. A much kinder way in my opinion as to letting your kid scream for ages. Especially coz at this age they are so knowing and with my kid when she behaves that way its for a reason sometimes shes just scared and needs to know mummy is here for her.

Dayna - posted on 07/23/2012

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if you would like i can email you a copy of the sleep sense ebook. its working really well for my 2 year old.

Kristin - posted on 07/23/2012

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When I was trying to sleep train, we would let him cry it out. That's after I did the bed time ritual and such.
But since he is older now, 2 years old, everything has changed. He refuses to go to bed while my step kids are still awake, 10 and 13. I've tried taking him to bed but he will scream and cry without ending. If I have my step kids "pretend" to go to bed then put him to bed, that works until he hears them downstairs again. So we have compromised and just let him fall asleep in the living room. After that I carry him to bed when I go to bed.
If letting him fall asleep like that works for you, just go with it.

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