Need help with 4 year old.

Tiffany - posted on 02/28/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

4

16

0

My 4 year old son is a sweet heart sometimes. But latley he has been hitting me, yelling at me saying i'm a bad mommy, and wont listen to anything i say. I have a nother child on the way she is almost here.. Only a month left! But i don't have anyone to help me with the problem.

I have tried to put him in his room and all he does is play and open the door. I have also tried to spank him but he just laughs and says ouch and then hits me twice as hard back. I have tried taking his toys away but grandpa gives them right back to him. I'm so stressed and tired i dont know what to do anymore. Does anyone have the same problem or any advice that you could give me to help me out.

Please help... i'm about to pull my hair out!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Marcy - posted on 02/28/2011

1,042

1

277

Take his little hands in yours, get down to his level and say "We don't hit in this house." that bring said, you shouldn't spank him since you are punishing him with exactly the same thing that he is doing wrong. The best advise I can give you is to get him outside or someplace where he can blow off some of that energy. A few hours on a bike or outside running around make a huge difference. my son is 4 1/2 and I have to remind him on a routine basis that we don't hit. Also, try something along the lines of "We don't hit in this house. if you hit me one more time today we are not doing xxxx" whatever that xx may be...Then, stick to it. We missed a birthday aprty awhile back because my son was acting out. I was very calm the entire time but I reached the end of my rope and that was when I told him that if he continued we would not be going. Good luck.....

Deepti - posted on 02/28/2011

492

16

152

hi Tiffany, it is a situation in which you have to find solution NOW AS UR SECOND CHILD IS ON THE WAY...
may be ur child misses the time u used to give him and the way u used to play with him... make up some story that God is sending a nice little friend for him and both of u have to take care of him or her... also that if he hits then the little friend will get hurt.. so be soft towards her.
also prepare him now for the future ..tell him that your mamma needs ur help and love besides u can play some in door games like crossword or verbal game with him so that he feels satisfied and happy.. this is absolutely necessary for ur family that elder child is well attended... ask his grandpa to devote more time to him and play with him especially after the baby arrives.
ur problem is well handled at this site and u will feel better:
http://perspectiveofdeepti.blogspot.com/

8 Comments

View replies by

Marisa - posted on 03/04/2011

24

0

1

Buy the book Your Four Year Old - Wild and Wonderful. It talks about the disequilibrium stage at 41/2. Just an awful augumentative stage. Mine does not hit but has had me in tears a few times recently due to frustration.
What shocked me about what you said is that he hits you back hard. Do you think he has anger inside? Do you think he has anxiety about the baby?
I third lots of excercize!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It helps.
Check our Love and Logic classes. Google them to find them near you. Or just search on you tube and get some advice. And just keep saying he will be five, he will be five.

Sarah - posted on 03/03/2011

13

25

1

Your the parent, you've got to tell your parents that you make the rules, i know its hard but i went through the same thing and my parents didn't really take me seriously until i told them that if they didn't respect the fact that im the parent and that they have to follow my rules then i will not be letting them babysit or have her over there without me ( i once even walked out of a car dealership because my mother didn't respect my rule). Second it really does help when you get down to their level, i put my daughter in time outs a chair in the corner and its usually 4 mins if she gets off i place her back on and tell her that because she didnt listen to me it is now 6 mins, if she got off another time id take her back to the chair put her on it and stand in front of her but don't say anything to her or look at her. My daughter is also a hitter and a kicker i do the time out and tell her that she can not come off it until she can say that she is sorry and can explain what she is sorry for.

Rhonda - posted on 03/03/2011

17

1

0

I second Marcy--that boy would do well to get lots of exercise in addition to discipline. It leaves him less time and energy to direct at you and raises his endorphins.

Jenifer - posted on 03/02/2011

22

5

0

yup yup, you have to get on their eye level, not him up to yours, sit down hold him and tell hm what is acceptable when it comes to how to treat you and others. I think he is just acting out because he is scared and jealous of the fact that you are about to add another to his life and he more then likely feels like he doesn't have any control of the situation. I sure hope things get better for you. maybe giving him some control like let him pick out something for the baby, some books to read to him/her, and have special time for just you and him might curb how he is feeling.

Charlie - posted on 03/01/2011

53

4

13

hi there i had the same problem my kids were 2 and 3 when i was preg with my 3rd and they really scared me in there behaver towards me but what helped me was sitting them down an explaining to them that they were going to have another brother or sitter but that didn't mean i loved them less they would always be mummy prince and princess then i got them involved with almost every-think like putting the cot up sorting nappy's out and baby clothes out and kept saying ooooowwww you brother or sister is going to be so happy with you them i went out and bought them a small toy and said that's off your sister when she was born after that they settled rather quick and were great :)

Erin - posted on 02/28/2011

212

17

34

All I can say is being that he is 4yrs old he should be at the point where you can sit him down and talk to him what you say you need to keep to it, with the hitting and push etc try not to hit him and to show him that there are other ways like using his words with my kids and taking toys away i had to put them in clear container with a latch on so onone could get them out besides me or my parnterand i then had to sit down with the other members of my family and talk to them about the fact that they have lost there toys for whatever reason and not to give them back and explain to them that it no right for them to undo what i have done or am tring to do because the kids are asking them for it back and that i needed them to be strong with it to to help me maybe try a timeout room what he doesn't have anytoys or anything besides a chair i go by how ever old they are thats how long they are in time out for for example 4yrs = 4min, 5yrs =5min these have been very helpful for me and hope all will work for you

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms