Needing opinion from parents that don't have twins!! PLEASE HELP!!!

April - posted on 04/29/2010 ( 30 moms have responded )

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I have twin boys that will be turning 2 soon. My husband and I have told everyone not to get two of everything (gifts) because it is overwhelming, but no one listens!!! For their Birthday I was thinking about making a wish list just to give an idea on things that would be a great for them to share or get one gift for one and accessories that go with that gift to the other boy. I also feel that if you buy one big gift it could be easier on your wallet than buying two gifts ya know? How would you take it if you got a wish list in your birthday invitation? Should I put something like, "Here is an idea of gifts that they can share...." PLEASE HELP!! I don't want to come off greedy for my kids, our house is over flowing with double toys and I am going to lose my MIND!!!

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Lisa - posted on 05/06/2010

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I love the idea to be honest! Make either a wish list or even register at the local toys store. I would just put a note in there that says something to the fact of the boys have so many similar toys that you know they would appreciate some unique one of a kind toys. It will save them from having to ask what the boys would like or need cause they already have a handy list and if there is someone that doesnt want to shop from the list add the option of gift cards!

User - posted on 05/06/2010

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i can really feel for u ...i don't have twins but my boys are 18mths apart n at 4 n 6 get given matching toys ....recently a requested that family give them books n no more toys as even with the new extension we have no space!!!.....it was received with mixed reactions some were understanding others felt i shouldn't b allowed to choose for them,,,,personally i would go with the parental request hey were able to give them book sets which they were able to share...n in fact they cherish them more i feel than they would've toys....good luck why not request "no boxed gifts" or ask for vouchers so they can pick things out for themselves.....i know the kids love being able to choose for themselves even at that tender age!!...x

[deleted account]

Make up two separate wish lists for each boy of items they would enjoy that are inexpensive.

Then attach a note with each list saying here are some things things that (insert child's name) in interested in.
Try encouraging different toys for each and maybe people will catch on.

My Mom says people are dumb when it comes to twins and gifts (I am an identical twin). They were an awful lot of upset people when they would buy identical (not even different coloured) outfits and my Mom would never put us in them at the same time. She flat out refused to dress us 100% identical, different colors of same outfit, from time to time, but when we got old enough we got to choose.
But then these were the same people who would buy my sister and I one present at birthday/Christmas and my brother 2 gifts because supposedly my sister and I got more because there were two of us.

Good luck!

Tania - posted on 05/06/2010

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i do that when its my daughter's (hannah 3 years) birthday. last year it was outdoor equipment and this yr ballet lessons. its way better because generally children already have toys and its always the big things that are harder to get or afford. people will give as they feel lead. just put it out there parents will give or they will buy a gift of there choice but theres no harm in putting it out there. It also makes others feel that what they giving will be appreciated and worth while.

Jacqueline - posted on 05/06/2010

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Well i think its a great idea it saves parent's asking you what your children have actually parents will appreciate the ideas .I can well understand that you prefer not to have double of toys it can drive any parent up the wall x

Dawna - posted on 05/05/2010

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Instead of listing specific gifts, if you feel that might insult some people, you could try making a list of each twin's interests. Say something like: Johnny is currently interested in turtles, boats and puzzles, and Bobby is interested in cars, trains and building blocks.

That gives guests ideas for gifts, without taking away their fun in picking the actual gift. It also points out that although they are twins, they are two distinct individuals, with their own tastes. That way, maybe you'll get fewer duplicate gifts.

Shelby - posted on 05/05/2010

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at target.com you can create a wishlist and name it whatever you want (i.e. Joe and Johns Birthday list) people can access this from online or in store. they also allow you to pick a quatity and post a personal message when they access the list, so you can remind people that they can share toys and hopefully people will but 2 different items. This also helps avoid duplicate gifts and if you do get duplicates, they are easy to return/exchange even if you dont have a receipt. I have done this for my kids at christmas, they are only 15 months apart and people buy 2 of the same thing thinking they will both need one. It has worked well. Good luck!!

[deleted account]

maybe gift certificate from a bookstore or a toy store...less hassle for the gift givers and you and your twins can get the things they really need or want

Keri - posted on 05/05/2010

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I agree that is a good idea. I know of an idea where the mum asked for a gold donation (here in New Zealand) or a dollar to the kids education or to their favourite charity.

Desiree - posted on 05/05/2010

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I think that is a great idea to be honest because I have this friend who has two boys a year apart but born on the same day, so she throw's them a party together every year and gets double gifts.. this past year she put like a little list in there of there sizes and ideas.. it turned out pretty well

Mary - posted on 05/04/2010

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I have an almost two year old and a three month old, and there are toys everywhere in my house. I hated to be mean, but I told everyone not to buy the kids toys. They needed clothing and shoes, and the oldest loves hairbands. Giving your guests a list of what the kids need is a wonderful thing, just let them know that though you appreciate the toys, they have to many.

Molly - posted on 05/04/2010

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A friend of mine put on hers "Esme has her eye on a few larger toys at Walmart. Mommy and Daddy can't do it on their own but if everyone chips in she can get her special toys and remember everyone who made it possible every time she plays with them!" So I got her a little something from my daughter with a $5 limit ang got her a gift card. I didn't want her to feel completely bored with only gift cards but it helped her toward her goal, Plus we picked out a fun gift card !

Erin - posted on 05/04/2010

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they should understand my son just turned 1 and im very picky about the clothes he wears i put on the invite no clothes and told everyone toys money or giftcards i dont think that anyone was offended. i would explain to them if they ask y snd also ask for gift reciets in case of doubles

Teresa - posted on 05/04/2010

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i know many families that ask to donate a toy/food/$ to charities in lieu of your childs birthday. The children are right into it as well. And the parents will get the gift that really need or want.
But if your kids are like mine they like the "present". And I don't think it is a bad idea to ask people to get a together gift. In fact in might make it easier for the shopper.

Tricia - posted on 05/04/2010

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When you send out invitations put in suggestions for each child. I always ask for clothes we have enough toys but you can never have too many clothes.........especially with twins. good luck

App+7mnejhu - posted on 05/03/2010

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If you don't feel comfortable making out a wish list then what ever you feel u will not need or get two of take back to the store they came from and get them what you would like them to have or if you can get cash back, you could open up a savings acct for them.

Brittany - posted on 05/03/2010

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I wouldn't be offended if I had gotten that, not to mention it's hard picking out a toy for a kid you don't really know and trying to do that double would REALLY suck. It is refreshing to get a little help from the actual mom.

Paula - posted on 05/03/2010

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I would not be upset to get a gift suggestion/wish list list from a parent at all...it actually makes shopping easier. I usually ask the parents anyway so that I don't buy unnecessary things. Doing the gift registry is also a great idea. You can put a quantity so that you don't get more than you need of anything and you can put items on there at every price point.

Desiree - posted on 05/02/2010

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I think that is a great idea, it's totally understandable to do it that way. Since you are already overwhelmed with all the things they have already. So i think you should go with the idea that you came up with. Hopefully it turns out just the way you want it to and that's best for everyone.

April - posted on 05/02/2010

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Thank you guys!! I feel better! I just didn't want everyone to think I was crazy!! lol I looked at ToysRUs.com and I made a small list just for an idea kind of thing! :)

Jessi - posted on 05/02/2010

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i had cousins that were 6 monts apart (they were adopted) and i always tried to give them different toys. I was a little offended once when another aunt of mine gave a sort of wish list for her daughter, but then i started doing it on invitations too because people just don't know and then they give gifts that we already have or my daughter would never play with because she didn't like them. Another thing you could do is just have a garage sale every year for the double toys and then let the kids buy the toys they want with the money you make. Something I do a lot with my daughter is just return the toys that she doesn't like and let her pick what she wants. Your relatives are probably just trying to be helpful in trying to prevent fights between your boys.

Another thought, no matter what you say, people will always get what they want to get. We have been telling family for a couple years now to not get our daughter clothes. She is very picky and refuses to wear certain clothes (she will not wear jeans, anything with buttons/zippers about the neck or waist or any jackets inside (sweatsuits with a hooded jacket)) and we tell them her rules and they never listen. We end up just shelving the clothes or returning them if we can

Jane - posted on 05/02/2010

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i would love if a list was given - i hate picking out gifts, i'd rather give what is wanted or needed. ask for "gift receipts" if you can so you can bring one back or just don't unwrap one and keep it for the next b'day or christmas gift to someone else's party - "oh, they loved this so much we wanted to get the same thing for your kid!"

Amanda - posted on 05/01/2010

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That sounds like a great idea. By that age they're probably favoring different kinds of toys anyway, and just because they're twins doesn't mean they are going to like the same kinds of toys. And from my experience most parents ask what kind of stuff to get anyway. I wouldn't be the least bit offended if I got a wishlist in an invitation!

Tiffany - posted on 05/01/2010

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First, ask for a gift reciept in case of mulitple doubles. I made a wishlist before my oldest daughter's birthday last year b/c I had 2 girls that were 14 mos apart and I knew they were getting to the age to share toys. I would definitely make a list of suggestions and make a point to put on it that you only want one of each item for them.

Kate - posted on 04/30/2010

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My twin boys are 9 months old. l like the idea of registering at a store. We had our other son's 3rd b-day last month and everyone l invited asked for ideas.

[deleted account]

I think what you are suggesting is very sensible... The other thing to look at is one child looking at leaning towards different things then the other. I quite often let my fgamily and friends know what we are looking at for the kids and i tell everyone different things so that we don't get the double up. Some suggestions for you.. Duplo they can get a set each but can be played together.. Train set and different trains each... And sport equipment... Good Luck and i think everyone should be happy with knowing what it is your children need or want... Other thing is if you need a swing set or something bigger see if they are happy putting in.. I got my in laws to all put in for a trampoline for my two kids 3 and 2 for christmas..

Sarah - posted on 04/29/2010

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I think a wish list is nice. I too am always wondering what to buy and that would be nice to have. I don't have twins, but do day care and have twins and another one that is only 6 wks older than the twins....so in many ways during the weekdays I have triplets. One thing I have found it that it is nice having double of toys. I have found that if one is playing with something the others will want it. I totally understand the lack of room that occurs when you start getting two of everything. One thing that may help is trying to mix up the toy list including some toys that are inside toys and some that are outside toys.

Katie - posted on 04/29/2010

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idk if i would include an actual wish list per say unless you are very close to that person but you could register at a store like walmart , target or toys r us and include that on the invite. but for the grandparents and other close relatives you could just out rite tell them what you would like to get them. if it doesnt work out you can always return the items that are the same and then get them what you would rather them have.

Jennifer - posted on 04/29/2010

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Maybe you can register them @ ToysRUs and just include a line at the bottom stating that they are registered there?

Ashley - posted on 04/29/2010

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i think that is actually a good idea. i know when i rsvp for a party for one of my childrens' friends i ask "what does so and so like or need?" i know shopping for kids is tough, i can only imagine with twins. i know getting ideas would be great!! i hope it turns out ok :)

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