new baby on the way

Racheal - posted on 03/31/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My son was 2 in november. He is still within normal for speech and understanding but just a little on the later side...we are going to have another baby in august. i keep trying to explain to him about the baby but he just has no idea what im talking about. he nows i say baby and stuff and kisses my belly but i really dont think he understand he will have another brother soon. im afraid how this is going to effect him after the baby is born. has anyone else had any similar situations like this? and how did your child handle. what else can i do to prepare him? thanks in advance!!!



ps. i just don't want him to be completely blind sided by this

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Kay - posted on 04/01/2012

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I don't know that my three, almost four year old really "got it" until his little brother was here. He told people on various occasions that Mommy was having a lizard and a bird.



We just kept talking about it. We read books on being a big brother. We talked about how Mommy and Daddy were a big sister / brother respectively.



Then, after all the work and preparation, we got to the hospital, he met little brother, was enthralled for a day or so. As we were getting ready to go home, he asked if the baby could stay at the hospital. Yep, he wanted Mommy home, but the baby...not so much!!!



If you are talking about it, getting him involved in preparations, and reading about it, you are probably doing everything that you can do. Much like with parents, reality doesn't really set in until after baby is home and part of "real" life, so to speak. Good luck. :)

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User - posted on 04/10/2012

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I sure did! my son was 18 months old when my daughter was born. My son is a little slower on the speech development as well......and didn't understand at all that I was going to have a baby. (his speech is still a little slow...he's 28 months now) all will be ok. he understands more words from you even if he can't speak them. show him the new baby's room or crib and let him know a new visitor will be coming. I did with my son....he didn't seem to understand anything until the baby was brought home in the carseat and he realized it was staying. (he visited me in the hospital too and didn't even look twice at the baby....not even sure if he noticed it!) Good luck! he will be ok. it will take some adjusting on his part of course but they'll be good buddies before long!

Janessa - posted on 04/05/2012

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None of my kids were quite to the 2 year mark when their next sibling was born. They all had a very positive reaction when first meeting the baby they loved them. My latest they were 22 months apart, and that is the farthest. It will continue to be positive as long as you let them know they are still special to you. One thing that is great, is that newborns sleep a lot especially during the day, so you should still be able to give your son plenty of attention, whenever you need to give the baby attention like feed him make sure your son feels like he can help too. I have nursed all of mine, and so I let my others snuggle with me when I am nursing, especially my youngest ones. I let them hold them, even while they are small, of course I stay right by them, but they still get to hold them. My husband and I take turns taking our children on dates. They get to have 1 on 1 time with either Mommy or Daddy. If they don't feel like they have to compete for your attention or love, it should run smoothly. Another thing I do is I always ask them if they will help me with a younger sibling, but I do not tell them that they have to. This last time it was my almost 2 year old that had the least problems with the new baby, it was my 4 year old that was loving her to death, trying to make her laugh by screaming and saying boo when she was a newborn, or being too rough with her. When you know your child is not trying to be mean when they accidentally scare the baby or hurt the baby, stay calm, don't get mad, calm the baby down first, and then go talk to the older child, and explain what happened and how they need to be instead. Make sure they know they are loved too, and that you are not mad. If it was intentionally, almost the same steps because they didn't necessarily want to hurt the baby, they just wanted your attention, so take care of the baby first, then go talk to your child and there might need to be some form of discipline in that case, but make sure it is done with love in mind. Anyways, sorry this went on forever, these are just things I have learned, believe me I haven't always followed these steps, but it is these steps that have worked the best for me. It isn't so bad in the end. Good-luck, I know it can be scary. Hope this helps.

Julie - posted on 04/04/2012

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No sense in trying to get him to understand anything as this young age.



When you come wome with the baby then he will adjust... make sure you tell him this is his baby and allow him to help out (little kids honestly love to help!)



Too, don't worry about his speech - boys are often slower than girls ... and he does understand your words - so, no worries!



ENJOY him now as your time is never going to be the same... ♥

Valerie - posted on 04/02/2012

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My daughter was 23 mths when my son was born and we talked about it all the time and she would kiss my belly and sing and talk to it on a regular basis. When I had him she went with grandma and kept asking grandma when she got to go see her new baby brother. She understood exactly what was going on and was so excited to see her baby brother. She insisted on coming to the hospital and wanted to hold him immediately. I made sure to include her with taking care of him, she would sit on my lap while nursing him, once I started pumping she would sit on my lap and hold the bottle and we even allowed her to have him on her lap to feed him under very close supervision of course ;). When she was 8 and her brother was 6 I had our 3rd child and she was a pro at that point and was explaining to her brother what was going to happen I brought them to all of my ultrasounds and they would hug my belly etc... and when new baby came they wanted to hold him and help take care of him. I think that kids understand alot more than they let on or that we want to believe they do. As long as you remember to include your kids and have them help you take care of the new one everything should go great. Good luck and congrats on your new addition to your family.

Laura - posted on 04/02/2012

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My kids are 2 years 9 months apart (it's ok to laugh). My daughter, had a good concept of the idea of a new baby. Plus, her friend down the street got a new sister baby. So that, combined with age appropriate explanations seemed to be enough. When she came to see me in the hospital that evening, she came banging in the door stating "I want to hold my brother now".



I think your son will be fine. He doesn't sound any different than millions of other 2-year-olds who are about to be big brothers. Keep talking to him about the changes coming up and stay positive. He'll feed off of your energy. If he feels loved and included he'll be just fine.

Michelle - posted on 04/02/2012

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I agree that he'll be blindsided, but you can help him adjust to baby once he/she's here. First get him used to sitting beside you, not on your lap for snuggle/story times. (Hard to feed a baby with a toddler on your lap!) At our house the new baby gets his/her older siblings a small present. I also try to have at least a baby scrapbook done for each child so they can see themselves in the baby carseat, bassinet, being fussed over by visitors, etc. Also the big brother will really like to hear about himself as a baby and how he was similar or different than his new sibling. "You slept all the time when you were this little." "Look his hair is just like yours when you were a new baby." "Baby is so lucky to have such a (smart, helpful, loveable, funny) big brother." We've never had a problem with newborn sibling rivalry at our house and we're currently expecting baby number 6. Good luck.

Heather - posted on 04/02/2012

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He will be blind sided no matter what you do. My son was 22 months old when his sister, my daughter was born. We tried to prepare him, he was totally fine after she was born though. He went about playing as normal and I took care of him and kept him on his schedule just fine. My baby girl adapted to this schedule quickly, and it was easy to nurse her inbetween taking care of my son! He will be fine. He does understand to an extent, but once the baby is here, he will get it.

Happy - posted on 04/01/2012

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Unfortunately, he's going to be completely blind sided. There is nothing you can do to change that, except, give birth. Your 2 yo has never experienced what it is like for Mom to have another baby. My 6 year old was the same when his baby sister was born and now that the baby sister is 21 months (I am due with babe #3 in 4 weeks), he is an old pro and my daughter is clueless. It is part of those things in life that must be experienced to be undrestood. He'll be fine.

Erica - posted on 04/01/2012

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My daughter was the same way... Once my belly got biiger we talked about it a lot, took her to all my ultrasounds and had her help get the nursery ready. We got her a baby to take care of so we both had babies. We read stories about becoming a big sister and watched cartoons on the subject. Don't think she really got it until he was here! He is 9 months and they are 2 peas in a pod!! Good luck!

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