New mom to toddler

Angelica - posted on 07/08/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I want to get my story out there because I feel there's not many I can talk to.
Back in 2015 I found out I was 4 months pregnant. And I was shocked because I had my period through out my pregnancy and my stomach was about the same size.
2 weeks later I went into labor,
My daughter was born at 1pound 2 oz
She was diagnosed with hydrocephalus and was given 5% survival.
I was just destroyed..
I couldn't believe what was happening, she was just in the hospital 5 months.
Anyways, after brain surgery they gave her to me..now she's going to be 2 years old in 2 weeks. Every night I cry because I feel like a worthless mother.
I don't know what I'm doing. Having my first child at 20 years old and her being disabled makes me worry a lot. She can't walk yet or speak and I feel it's my fault..but I'm doing the best I can.

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Priscilla - posted on 07/08/2017

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I'm 2015 I found out I was 3 months pregnant after some bloodwork showed I was low in vitamin d which contributed to my breaking my ankle instead of just spraining it. She made it to "full term" minus a day despite some scares that led to an emergency c-section. Now she's happy and healthy though with a personality that has some behavioral concerns of its own.

However there are times I wish I could change the past. Maybe she could have been better if I was diligent enough to keep my blood pressure down, or notice the signs that I was pregnant sooner (with irregular cycles it's hard to tell). But we can't change the past. Just do your best for the present to help the future.

I know it's difficult with disabled children, I grew up with my brother, but you are only human. Don't be afraid to ask for help from family, friends, or community programs.

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