No windows in my toddlers' bedrooms...

KL - posted on 10/16/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and I rent an affordable apartment from my parents with our 19 month old and 3 year old... But their bedrooms are dark and windowless... No sunlight, only the lights installed in the ceilings. Even though they're both healthy and happy tots, our son continues to sleep from 9 PM til 10-11 AM, and I'm afraid it's because his room is cavelike, but I continue to abide by the old saying "never wake a sleeping baby." Despite the fact that they're only ever in their rooms to sleep and, occasionally, play there instead of in the living room, I'm afraid the darkness might harm their emotional and mental development... I'd like to move out and my husband would LOVE to, but my parents struggle financially to keep their oversized home and our monthly rent is half their mortgage payment... Not to mention that my mom sort of manipulatively makes me feel guilty if we talk about moving out and renting elsewhere, even if she doesn't realize she does that...

How do you feel about this? The subject of no windows in a kids room and the situation with leaving the apartment at my parents' house?

Thanks XO

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Michelle - posted on 10/17/2013

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I always wake my children in the morning because I have to get to work.
Your parents financial struggle isn't your responsibility, your family is. If you feel your family would be better off somewhere else then you need to make the move. Your parents have made their decisions in life to be where they are, not you and you don't owe them anything. You have the right to live your own life as a family.
If you are willing to let your Mother control your life then you won't move. If you want to take control of your life and finally cut the apron strings then you will move.

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Sarah - posted on 10/17/2013

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If you live in the US it is illegal to have a bedroom without a window. That is a HUGE safety risk. If there is a fire then the children would not be able to get out. If your parents are renting this space then they can be in trouble for renting out a place that has illegal bedrooms.

If your parents have over spent what they can afford then they need to look at moving into a place they can afford. If they don't want to do so then that is their choice, but there are consequences to their choices.....just as we tell kids. We teach our kids to make wise decisions and if they choose not to then there are consequences to those actions.

As far as you renting from your parents. That is your decision, but again then there are consequences to that decision. It is not wrong for you to find a place of your own. You have your own family and that should be number 1. You need to make the decision that is right for you, your husband, and your kids. Personally, I would not be living somewhere where there are no windows in the bedrooms. If something were to ever happen the risk of your children's lives is WAY more important then what your parents do or wish for you to do. I know many people don't expect to have a fire in their home. I know I feel this way myself. BUT you never know. My daughter was staying over night at a friends house. In the middle of the night there was an electrical fire that started in the bathroom right next to the bedroom where the girls were sleeping. Thankfully everyone got out ok, but this could have easily been really bad if their bedroom did not have a window to get out as they could not go out the bedroom door due to the fire in the bathroom.

KL - posted on 10/17/2013

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Thanks, Michelle. It helps to hear it from another mom. It's hard to get past the guilt I feel toward leaving home but you're absolutely right, and I'm definitely getting tired of being emotionally controlled when I have my own family to care for and an example to set. Thanks again :)

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