OT-cliques

Stacey - posted on 04/17/2012 ( 21 moms have responded )

13

0

1

I hate you...even at the age of 36. Everywhere I go and it's driving me nuts. I thought I had friends and apparently I don't. Everyone is getting together on their own & setting playdates. I'm having a very hard & stressful time right now and could use a friend to talk to and someone for my lo to play with. I take her to parks etc but it's not like other kids play with her, she's 18 mo. It seems like she tries to play with but that's it. I just wanna tell dh I want to move just to try and make some friends. I've lived in the same place for 6 years and still have no one. Wth, do I smell?

Sorry, just need to vent

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Louise - posted on 04/18/2012

5,429

69

2322

Start afresh. Go to mums and tots groups you have not been to before. The friendlier ones are run by the church and you do not have to be religious to go. Keep going every week and eventually people will accept you and let you in. I was in the same situation as you and I joined a mums and tots group. It is hard to go at first feeling like an alien, but after a while somebody will take pity and talk to you and then strong friendships are made.

I always went to speak to new mums at these sessions because I remembered how it felt to walk through that door. Scary. You will always get women who go in groups and only talk to those people. Well sod um! You are a good person and have a lot to offer. There loss.

Look up a new group in your area and go this week. Fresh start!

Karenda - posted on 04/30/2012

50

12

0

It is hard - I agree with Monica that it's harder to make friends as an adult. We had no friends with kids when my daughter was born. It was hard for a while. Once she started preschool a couple days a week. I asked the teacher who she played with and had a halloween party and invited those kids. Out of the parents who attended we hit it off with one family. Through them we have met a couple other families. Even though it's hard you just have to keep trying, eventually you'll find some friends with kids. Good Luck!

Monica - posted on 04/18/2012

5

0

0

Man, I feel the same way. All my HS friends all moved away or we lost touch. I think it's harder making friends as adults. Whats hard for me is working full time, you barely have time to cook and do laundry, much less play dates!! I have my son in a home day care so he's bonded with the kids there since they are so close in age. He's 3 but other that there, He does not have anyone else to play with and there are only mom groups in this area for stay at home moms, very frustrating!!

21 Comments

View replies by

Cassidy - posted on 01/20/2015

32

0

0

Hi, I've met other moms through church groups (look for family events at your church), storytime at the library, and my daughter's gymnastics class. Try to get involved in something that meets often so you get a chance to get to know people.

Good luck!
Cassidy
http://tuesdaystantrum.blogspot.com/2015...

Julie - posted on 05/01/2012

631

96

24

That's o.k. - VERNT!!!

♥ being a mother is a very sacrificial thing...

Find a good church with a mommies' group - and GO!

BTW - being a mommie is THE most rewarding thing you can invest your time and efforts into... I know, I was a single mommie for almost 29 years (5 precious souls)when my husband died... without the love of my children I'd''ve died, too ♥

and, IT GETS MORE REWARDING AS TIME GOES ON if you do it right!! ;o)

Stacey - posted on 04/25/2012

13

0

1

So just out of curiosity, where is everyone located? Even general, doesn't have to be exact.



It can make for awkward conversation when the other people with kids are such a big age difference. But, I still try but it can get annoying if you KWIM.

[deleted account]

I have the same issue.....I'm a SAHM to a 3 1/2 yr old & 2 1/2 yr old girls and a 7 month old boy......the older one is in dance but my mom mostly takes her, besides everyone knows each other from church or whatnot.....I'm only 23 so my friends from highschool are just graduating college and getting jobs in the field......I do but I don't Want to have playdates only because we live in a 2 bedroom apt and hubby's sleeps during the day....I think my life would change for the better if we had a house.....playdates whenever my kids want. Too bad I do t know anyone with kids :(

Tee - posted on 04/25/2012

278

15

17

@Stacey all of my friends except one had kids and we had our kids together so they are all in the 18 - 21 age group, my son will be 20 this summer. Now a lot of them are grandparents and here I am potty training. Before I moved from my apartment complex my daughter had a playmate that was her age and here I am 16 years older than the girls mother. We didn't see eye to eye on so many parenting issues.

Stacey - posted on 04/25/2012

13

0

1

Tena, I feel ya!! My girls are 19, 12, and 18 mths, it makes it very difficult!!! I've read numerous articles where many people lose touch after having kids because others have chose not to have them yet or the way they parent differ greatly. I don't have any close friends but I can say I've met some moms over the last year that I'm okay with not hanging out with them. I mean what mom is going to constantly yell at theirn9 mo because they put leaves in their mouth, I mean, really, move them, they don't understand!! So now at 15 mths she wonders why her lo doesn't respond to "no."

Tee - posted on 04/25/2012

278

15

17

I am also in the same boat but with a twist. I have friends but we don't have anything in common anymore. Their kids are late teens or grown. My oldest is grown but I also have a 7 and a 2 year old. All of the people that I meet in "real life" with toddlers could almost be my child.

Cara - posted on 04/20/2012

29

16

1

I am in the same boat. I am not a stay at home mom so most mom clubs that have activities have thwm during the day so my daughter and I cane make if. The one play date that we went to it was so hard to talk to them. My daugter is almost three and the only kids she knows is from day care.

Joy - posted on 04/19/2012

350

63

7

Online then and start looking around the area for pregnant women who will be new moms.

Stacey - posted on 04/19/2012

13

0

1

We attend a music class & same there, they're all friends and already know each other (even the teacher) btw it's a rather small town.

I guess I'll just stay on our current outings and hope to cross paths with someone new. Maybe we'll head to the library tomorrow ;)

Joy - posted on 04/19/2012

350

63

7

Never really got invited to playdates, but then my daughter goes to daycare at a home-daycare of a college friend of mine.

Do you live in a small or large town? I'd second (or third) the idea of looking for more moms' groups. Or if there's activities available for young ones to do, that's also a way to meet more & new moms. My 2 year old's in swimming, dance & music (the dancing & music will end up dropping in the next few months because she's too old for music & dance schedule doesn't work out for us.) We've also met several mother groups through the local hospital that holds 'Mommy & Me' classes for babies. Another idea is to look for people online & set up a new moms' group. I belong to a few online communities based on my parenting style and have found some local people to talk to that way.

Stacey - posted on 04/18/2012

13

0

1

I work second shift so am able to try and take my lo to something. I went to a mommy and me group today that's offered by our county health dept. I felt soo out of place and awkward around the other two girls. Their kids are 3 months younger t I know they get together almost every day of the week. I use to have playdates with them all the time and my lo mostly sat on my lap. It's like she was afraid of all the craziness. Yes, I'm older and I guess more down to earth. Oh well, I guess we'll hit the library Friday, can't be gone everyday of the week!!

Btw, there are soo many SAHM around here it's crazy. (We're close to navy base)

Tiffiny - posted on 04/18/2012

84

32

1

if you move i live in Delphos ,OH , and i could use some friends too, lol... i've lived here a year and really the only people i talk to are my neighbors, (which are old, no offense) , maybe one or two people besides the ones i work with but they don't count cause i never hang out with them.... i know the feeling.... it's like high school even though ur an adult chin up mand say screw them.... ur better than they are

Casey - posted on 04/18/2012

38

12

0

I know, people are creatures of habbit so if they have friends with kids they usually hang out with them. I only recently have started hanging out with different people because many of my friends don't have kids yet. It is really difficult at first though. Try to set up a play date at our place or something.

Katherine - posted on 04/18/2012

65,420

232

5195

I feel you!!!! I have tried groups from meetup and they are SO clique!!! I'm a VERY outgoing person so I just couldn't understand it. I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms