Our 3 year old has been rude/uncooperative to other adults (speech pathologist)

Dac1223 - posted on 01/08/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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3 year old son lately has been rude to other adults in my presence. We typically do not ignore rude behavior, dishing out some type of appropriate response, redirection or punishment (time out or taking a favorite away, not allowing something he likes or is trying to do)or telling him that his behavior makes the other sad, not rewarding it, and going from there to generate an apology (eg to grandparents) or better situation. I am not sure how to handle his behavior toward another adult where we are trying to gain cooperation and a bond (in home speech session).
We had our first in home speech therapy session, which was unproductive, after a repertoire of 3 year old behavior. He told her no, hid, made faces ignoring her, had tantrums, kept coming to me and interrupting, asked me to have her go, kept telling us he was done, closed and tossed books- anything he could do to not cooperate and distract. She told me not to worry that he was challenging me (my presence). I do not hesitate on follow through after the 1,2,3 warnings. In the public, I am very consistent. I will execute a time out in the middle of the store if I think it's due (which works for my son). So, I don't want to be forced to ignore behavior in my own home, company or not, but I don't want to make it harder on the Speech Pathologist. A timeout is likely what he wants (a break or different activity) and any parental interferences undermines what she is trying to accomplish or will cause another crying fit. Positive reinforcement and redirection was just not working today.

We are reconsidering time of day of the session (naptime, and prior stimulation) and she also plans to bring play methods to interact, maybe pulling me out of the room the next few sessions until they form a working bond (he is very social), and continue trying a positive reward system. I am going to talk to him too on expectations before she arrives. He is not reported to act like this in preschool where I am not there and he has his peers.

Would be interested in others thoughts/similar experiences.

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Dac1223 - posted on 01/09/2013

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Thanks for your response. He has a clinical speech pathologist (repaired cleft) and a school pathologist, who both given the language and articulation, suggested we supplement with private sessions this year. He has speech in school 4 days a week. For this reason, we think it may have been overstimulation too. He just was "done". His off day doesn't work right now with schedules, but we pushed the next session to later in the day, post nap, before dinner. I will give him a snack when he wakes up. We do need to make it engaging. I really like the library idea as an alternative;ours is somewhat contained in terms of distractions. She lives up the street and suggested her home too. We'll see. The next session may be better.

Amy - posted on 01/08/2013

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Well I would give it a couple more sessions to see if it improves because he is 3 and what you described is toddler behavior. When my daughter was assessed they brought toys for her to play with and she flat out told them no and got her own. She warmed up to them by the end but it took time, she also clicked with one over another.

Since he doesn't act like this at preschool maybe reconsider the setting, could they pull him out of class so he can meet with her, or can you drop him off earlier or have him stay later so you aren't there. Also maybe meeting at the library in the children's area would work.

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