Please Help!!

Raquera - posted on 03/11/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am a single mother of twin 2 year old girls. I am having trouble when it comes the bed time and potty training. I work fulltime and I am in college fulltime(online) . Its hard for me to do my school work, when my daughters wont go to bed until midnight! By then I am already in bed, but keep waking up in the middle of the night to make them go to bed. I really don't know what to do !! Please help!!

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Pam - posted on 03/13/2015

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It depends on when you get home from work. I'm not entirely sure what you do either, or how old you are. Uh, not knowing some key factors I could try to assist but I'm not sure if I can.
Your 2 year olds should be in bed by 7:30 and asleep by 7:45. You need this for your sanity and for their health(I'm a RN). Anyway, train them by having a routine starting at 6:30. That way they will know that bedtime will be soon. Don't take no for an answer either. If they cry at 7:30, come back into the room 5 min later, the next night 10 min later for a few nights, then 15 min. for a night or 2. After that they should be comfortable and asleep by 7:45.
This is a short version of my philosophy, read up on the Ferber method if you need further help. Most important is staying tough and not letting them stay up that late!!

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Teresa - posted on 03/15/2015

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Hi Raquera, I would like to say firstly well done for achieving all the things you do, and still doing everyday. I can only say that you may be trying to achieve to much in a very little time, you may have to call on some help to get you on track.
By help, I mean a good friend who is willing to give up some time to spend with you, to help you get the children in to a good sleep routine, and begin the potty training.

The routine is very important and will show the girls that you mean business, and also with the potty training, Make sure you have reward system in place, every time they successfully use the potty make a lot of fuss over them, and give them a small reward, they will soon realise that using the potty will be rewarded. As suggested it may be that you have a trusted friend helping you over a couple of weeks on odd occasions (or parents grandparents) ask for help explain your trying to potty train your girls and would like some help.

The sleep routine is not going to happen quickly, and again may need some support, however if support is not possible ,then a good routine should work, although your girls will not like the change eventually they will get used to the routine and will soon except what they must do.

1/ Always calm down the situation at home before bed time, no noisy, loud, games.

2/ Bath time , calm bedtime story, then bed time,

3/ Tuck them into bed say night go to sleep .

4/ If they get out of bed, put them straight back , done speak, no cuddles, no conversation, straight back into bed. Leave the room.

5/ If this is to difficult for the children ,and they become stressful and upset, put them back into bed sit next to the bed so they can see you, don't talk to them, gradually move towards the door (five min intervals), if the children get up just keep putting them back into bed, sit no conversation, eventually they get that you are not going to give in and that they will have to stay in bed .

6/ This may take a couple of weeks for the routine to fit into place, and you will have good days and bad days ,but don't give up it will happen, the quicker you except the routine the quicker the children will.

Don't try to do it all in a few days give yourself some time, allow yourself to make mistakes and get some support , there are some things you will be able to do on your own and some things you may need help with. You sound like a wonderful mum, and a fantastic person who is doing everything she can for her family and yourself, I wish you luck and lots of support with everything.

Raquera - posted on 03/14/2015

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Sometimes I don't even know how I do it. I am a very patient person, which plays a big role . But in my head , I think to myself I don't want be thought of a single mom that's limited to whAt I can do . Also I want my daughters to see that they can do whatever they put there mind too. I do not have a sex life or even friends to say the most . Most of my time is on my daughters and school. Don't get me wrong , I do have those days where I have broken down, because things are getting rough . Also, I feel like people telling me I can't do something because I am a mom , motivates me even more !

Brittany - posted on 03/14/2015

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I'm sorry I don't have advice to give to you .but I have advice to get from you! How do I get like you! lol...seriously that is amazing what your doing. I have a 18 and 5 month old wanting to do exactly what your doing full time job n school..how do you do it????

Raquera - posted on 03/13/2015

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I'm 22 years old. I'm off of work at 3pm but don't get home till 4pm after. I am currently going to school to be an RN, therefore I am trying very hard to get them on a schedule, since I need that extra Time to study . And I'm starting to get drained , since I'm waking up in the middle of the night to make them go to bed . It's getting to the point where I can't take it anymore.. And I will start the method that you have listed.

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