Please help two year old son is out of hand

TashandaKeys - posted on 01/26/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am a mother of three young boys my oldest is two, second is one, and my youngest is six months. Each of my children have very different personalities my oldest is very aggressive, and energetic. He doesn't like to go to anyone he kick, he screams, and even fall out. After a few hours of him being away from us he calms down. When I am asking him to do something he yells back at me "No mommy". I don't know how to discipline him. He doesn't do any of this to his father, his father look at him one time and he straighten up. When he interact with his one year old brother he sometimes tend to bite, pinch, and yell. Other times they run, laugh, and play well together. He is always very loving towards my six months old. He shows him lots of love, hugs, kisses, and he loves talking to him. I am in the process of going back to work. I am a little scared of sending my two year old to daycare. I am not sure if this is just normal two year old behavior or if I should be extremely worried about long term behavioral problems.

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TashandaKeys - posted on 02/10/2015

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Thank you Kenya, I appreciate your response! I am extremely overwhelm, however I've found ignoring his bad behavior has been working for my husband and I lately. I asked my son to clean up his room he laid in the floor and threw a tantrum. Instead of me breaking down, like I normally do I walked away. He must have yelled and screamed my name a million times, I was determined that I was not going to respond to him until he had settled down. Thank God it worked! Now I have to remain consistent. Thanks again for your advice and feedback to my post.

Dr Kenya - posted on 01/27/2015

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Hi Tashanda!
I have a 2 1/2 old daughter and 5 month old son. My daughter was jealous when our little guy arrived and showed out the same way to seek attention. I am not sure if your oldest son is doing the same thing especially because the youngest child needs so much of Mom and Dad right now. Every child and every parent is different but I believe consistent discipline will help you.

For example, I used to tell my daughter, “If you don’t stop, I am going to put you in time out…tap your end, etc.” and after a while that was just a waste of breath because my words never followed consequences. Thus, she knew I wasn’t serious. I started researching online and asking other parents what to do because I was so frustrated that my child was not listening to me. Finally, I found some advice that worked for me. I spoke to my daughter very straightforward and explained her behavior and why it was not ok. I told her that I will give her a warning when she does not obey and then there would be consequences if she did it again. My form of discipline is usually time out and I tap my daughter’s hand in more serious situations where she just knows better and is testing me. I am not suggesting you do the same but I suggest you find a solution that works for you and stick to it so that your son will know that mommy means business and that you are not playing around.

Consistency is the key to successful discipline and it’s more likely to work if your husband is on board and backs you up with the same technique. Basically you need good House Rules and consequences that you and your husband enforce, so get him on board.

Always remain consistent – if your son knows that you’ll give up after 10 minutes of tantrums, he will continue to scream, bite, kick, etc….which is not ok! But eventually he will realize you are serious and will change. Remember, your role is to teach that behavior which you have agreed is bad has real consequences. It gives your child the opportunity to think about his actions, to know the importance of saying sorry and for you both to learn how to move on. Best wishes.

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