Pls HELP me!My Boy is KILLING me!

James - posted on 12/17/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




Hi Mommies out there! Can someone pls help me on this? My boy is 2 years old and he really has a problem! In fact, he is getting bad to worst day by day. He as the usual cries and "Give me wat i want attitude", but he does it all the time! He just doesnt listen to anyone at all and when you try stopping him from doing someting, he just cries and cries and out of 10 times, it's 9 that he acts out his cries as he will start laughing and becoming normal the moment he gets what he wants. The best part..NO TEARS! I know its normal for kids to do that but he reallly is overdoing it!!! It just seems like nothing can get in his way and cries at the slightest, smallest, tinniest, miniest thing!!!!!!!!!!! Pls help me! And the way he cries, he just gets on the floor and start kicking his legs and rolling himself and cry and shout and scream and he does that ALL THE TIME even at the smallest thing!!!! The best part, he hits his granny when she tried to carry him away from the electric point he was attempting to play! He throws a plate at his mom when i try to stop him from playing the cupboards! He becomes normal AT THE INSTANT when u give him what he wants! He acts like he is really such a spoiled brat but we do discipline him time to time like teling him not to do this as it will hurt him or just a small light hit on the back of his palm or mayb a hit pain enough for a 2 year old to feel when things gets out of hand. But now, he is getting so much worst!!! nothing seems to be able to stop him and its killing me and my husband! Pls, anyone?


Gigi - posted on 12/20/2012




It sounds like he is running your household. And of course he is getting worse, why wouldn't he if he just needs to cry to get what he wants? In his eyes he probably by now doesn't understand why the crying part is necessary at all since you both know you will let him do exactly what he wants in the end. I am sorry this sounds harsh, but it is only up to you to change his behavior - by changing your own.
I know I am now repeating what other has said - but if you say "no" it means "no". If you continuously let his crying change your answer you are esentially teaching him that he can do whatever he wants and that won't work for anyone in the future. Not to mention that it can be very dangerous - aka playing with electrical point.
I am against any form of spanking since I think it just teaches the kids that there are situations when it is ok to hit. I try to keep calm and if my daughter is doing something she shouldn't I tell her to stop (I do explain why), if she doesn't I will either put her to time-out (her crib for us) for few minutes - and i do that only if I want to make an impression or I take the "problem" away. that works for us and she listens most of the time at initial request to stop.

In your case, you will have to start being very consistent and firm while staying calm because he will probably go into full tantrum mode for a while until he understands that rules have changed and that his tears won't change your answer. How and where you do a time-out is up to you and what works for your family, but once you do it try to be consistent, otherwise he will get confused and you will have constant crying on your hands.

good luck. I think you will be surprised how fast he will change his behavior with you enforcing rules.

Amanda - posted on 12/17/2012




It sounds like you aren't being consistent enough. When you say no, the answer is no. Count to 3, he continues, then time-out. Check on him during his time out and ask him if he's ready to come out, tell him he has to stop crying/kicking whatever misbehavior he is using to try to get his way. Once he stops, or tries to stop, bring him out. You will have to do it over and over, but he will begin to put it together and understand when you count you mean it When you say no, it means no, you MUST stick to it. Teach him the correct way to ask you, word by word if you have to. "Mommy. May. I. Have. Juice," so that he begins to understand how he should be speaking to you when he wants something. It doesn't sound like he's doing anything to hurt himself during his tantrums so just make sure he is in a safe place when you do it. When you hit children they learn to hit back, try to keep your smacks to a minimum. Counting to 3 works for me almost all the time, it's like a warning for them that says 'I'm serious.'


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Michelle - posted on 12/20/2012




This line says it all:

"He becomes normal AT THE INSTANT when u give him what he wants!"

That's what toddlers do and all you are teaching him is that if he has a big enough tantrum he WILL get what he wants. YOU are the parents, YOU need to run the house NOT your toddler.

You need to let him know that if he doesn't behave there will be a punishment, count to 3 and if it hasn't stopped the CARRY THROUGH with the punishment you told him about. You need to be consistent and not just punish him from time to time, that just sounds like you aren't very interested in teaching your son the way you expect him to behave.

Eva - posted on 12/19/2012




Where's the punishment? Why are there no consequences for his actions? When my daughter (who is 2) misbehaves, I give her a warning first ("Stop, or you'll get a time-out."). When she continues to misbehave, I put her in her time-out space (for her it's her old crib). I leave her alone in the room until she calms down. Remember, when you start doing this, you kinda need them to be upset/mad about it. If they like it, it's not a punishment.

Generally, she calms down now when I warn her she will get a time-out. She doesn't want to be left alone in that boring space.

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