Potty training stubborn child

Katie - posted on 05/01/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is a strong willed child. He was doing great with the potty for a month or so. Now he wont go. I have tried to get him excited by letting him pick out big boy underware. I had potty treats in beside his cars potty. I used a sticker system for a little while where he got a sticker for going potty and after so many stickers we got to go pick out a toy. None of that works for very long. He knows what potty training is all about. He will tell me he has to go potty when he sits in time out. He will also tell me after he pees if hes wearing cloth underware and will tell me he has poop in his diaper. I'm getting so frustrated because he knows what its about but just wont do it. Ive started to ask him every hour or so if he needs to go potty and sometime she will say yes and get excited and run into the bathroom. Another problem is I live with my mother and she watches him while I'm at work and college and I'm not sure were on the same page or do the same thing. She claims shes to "busy" to take him potty at times but with taking summer classes and going to school pretty much year round since i started college I need her to be on board with this potty training thing. UHH! Frustrated and irritated. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks :)

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Heather - posted on 05/03/2012

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Not much you can do if your mom won't take him potty. You can put his potty where he can get to it with a roll of TP so that he can go on his own when he needs to. But she needs to take him and not be too busy to do so, that's mean. I can't believe that she is too lazy to take him. Time to have a talk with her or find new childcare.

Audra - posted on 05/03/2012

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The inconsistency probably doesn't help, and it can be difficult to get others on board. We are right there with you. My son went from excited to UPSET, after praise, rewards, stickers and all. I decided to put him back in diapers for a couple of weeks, but the condition is that he MUST tell me as soon as he needs a diaper change. I'm hoping saying this out loud will help him to learn how he'll feel when he needs to go, and make toilet training a bit easier.

The fact is, most kids learn how to go in the toilet. I know the 'when' can be so frustrating, but they really should approach this big step as they're ready---physically, mentally, and emotionally. We tend to view it as them knowing how to do it and just refusing to spite us, but we don't KNOW how hard it is for our kiddo to change their entire view on peeing/pooping.

Best of luck!

Maren - posted on 05/02/2012

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I understand 100%. I started potty training my my daughter at 2 1/2, within a few weeks she was potty trained OLNY if she was naked. If we put underware or a diaper on her she would never use the toilet. So she ran around naked while home, I am a sahm so it was easy, but if we went out she was in a diaper. It wasn't until she was 3 1/2 that she finally started telling us if she need to go. Once she was ready to tell us it only took 2 weeks until she was wearing underware all day. But we still had the issue of night training. She stayed in pull-ups for a while, and after a couple of months she was waking up dry every morning. So we left her in her underware over night. The first night was fine, the second, third, and forth night she woke up every morning wet. The next night she was in a pull-up and dry once again. So we left her in pull-ups and since she was dry every morning we would reuse them 3 or 4 times before getting new ones. If we ever tryed putting her in underware she would always wake up wet. Then around the time she was 4 1/2 she decided she wanted to wear underware to bed. We let her try, and she has been dry ever since.

If the child is strong willed it is going to be on their time, not yours. Keep trying, but don't push to hard. Just because he knows what to do does not mean he wants to do it. Also talking with your mother could help. Make sure you are on the same page, and can use the same techniques. I am assuming she was sucessful in potty training you, so since you live with her, and she watches him, she would be a great resource to use.
Good luck.

Rachel - posted on 05/01/2012

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Hi,
I had the same problems with my son, one Sunday morning I decided that I was going to do the following.
We went outside with the potty and I kept offening him a drink of water, with drinking all the time his bladder kept getting full and needing to go to the toilet as soon as I saw him looking like or going wee wee I put him on the potty. This was when he was approximately 20months old, he is now almost 3 and is fully toilet trained and even gets up during the night and takes himself to the toilet. I know the idea of making him need to go to the toilet isn't the most practical, but it worked for us. We had in the past tried putting the potty in the toilet and one of us on the toilet and him on the potty, but he thought this was a great game.
That is all Ihave to offer, I hope this helps.

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Katherine - posted on 05/01/2012

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I'm in the same boat with my 3 year old. She is too stubborn! She knows where to go and when she has to go, she just won't do it! I have tried the rewards system too, she just doesn't care. So I guess I have no advice, just that I know how you feel.

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