Pre-K Challenging Tantrums

Maria - posted on 06/08/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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When my playing with my 4-year-old son, I sometimes tell him that I don't like it when he threatens to kick or hit me and I tell him so. He continues and I tell him to stop or he will get hurt. I tell him to stop at least 3 or 4 times, and then I spank him so he gets the idea and then he wails and tells me that I am mean and that it is all my fault for him getting hurt. How am I supposed to handle this?

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Amy - posted on 06/08/2013

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Does he actually hit and kick you, or is he just saying that they will? I don't believe in spanking either and the fact that you are spanking because he says he's going to hit you IS actually sending mixed messages. Personally if my kids were doing that I would just tell them that I would no longer play with them and walk away. You do that enough if he really wants to play with you he will stop threatoning you.

I also think at most he should only be given two warnings, 3 at the most before you implement a different form of punishment (other then hitting), because he never knows when you've had enough and you're going to hurt him.

Cmoline32 - posted on 06/08/2013

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Have you tried time out?
This allows him and you time to calm down and then address the situation. Tell him that it isn't nice to tell someone you are going to kick or hit them. I personally don't believe in spanking because I feel it sends a mixed message to the child. You are telling him not to talk about hitting or kicking and then when he doesn't listen, you hit him. In his mind that means that hitting is in some way acceptable if you don't like something someone else is doing.

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