Question about DBD(Dead Beat Dad)

Jessica - posted on 11/29/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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you see i had my son 3years ago with another man and then over a year ago i meet my husband and just had a baby girl 5 weeks ago.
well to the point. when my son was born i told the father he could see our son any time he wanted as long as i got atless a 24hour notice. well for the 1st year nothing. then i called and talk about visitations and ended up pick the day and time for him like he is a child. well he did that for a while and still did not understad that our son did not reconize him as the father. well he moved out of state for a year to try and get a job. well after a year no job so he had to come back and move in with his brother. well same thing happen i set up his visitation for him again and he did do it for a while then i got merried and was expecting but befor i was going to let him know about it, due to i would be in the hospital for about a week, he stoped comeing to see our son, for over 6monts now without and explanation untill i final got him on the internet to talk and it is due to he can not get a job to pay for gas to get a ride over here.

but what i dont get he was getting more mad at me for not telling him i was having another baby then anything else.

can some one tell me why he should care and be more focused on something that does not affect him that he had to care and be mad about it that much that he did not even ask how out soon was doing or anything like he has been doing for the last 6months.

i mean do you think he realy cares about our son?

2 Comments

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Iysha - posted on 12/01/2011

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If it's something you cant control, don't worry about it. You can't control his feelings about you having a baby. You can't contol how he thinks, what he says or how he feels. You cant make him see his son and you cant set his priorities for him. If he really wanted to see his son, he'd find a way. There are busses, he may have friends, his brother maybe... he is not without resorces. It took me going to counseling to figure that out with my daughters father. He kept saying that I made it so he can't see her. He is allowed court ordered visitation once a week. He has not seen my daugher in almost a year come Feb. 2nd. That was the day he wasnt allowed to come to my home anymore. He complained that he didnt have the money to come and visit. Well, he has a job now and still hasnt exercised his right to see his daughter. Don't baby him. If he really wanted to, he would visit. I mean, if the tables were turned, would you let the lack of money stop you from seeing your son?

As for visitation, go through the court system. It makes things a whole lot easier on both parties. He will know when and where he can see his son and you will too. No last minute arrangements, it's set in stone and nobody can argue with it.

Katherine - posted on 11/29/2011

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Yep, sounds like he has issues. I think he cares he just doesn't want the responsibility IMO.
As far as you not telling him about the baby.....well really it's none of his business. He doesn't want to be involved he has no right to get mad. Let him visit your son, and keep as little contact with him as possible.

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