Resentment towards a friend who is a SHM

89brookeelliott - posted on 01/21/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

8

0

3

I am not sure if this is the right circle to put my question in or not. Anyway, the subject line pretty much explains it all. I will briefly try to explain my friends story. She went from being straight, to bi, to straight. She met a guy and 6 months after they started dating he proposed and then 6 months after that she was pregnant. Before they even started dating she moved in with him. He makes good money so she doesn't have to work. I am happy she found someone who makes her happy and can provide for her. I wish nothing but the best. But here is my problem and why I need help getting over my resentment! I am a working mother, in school and take care of my toddler. My significant other is a great father and also works very hard to provide for our family. We unfortunately have other bills and things to take care of so I really cant be a stay at home mom. I get upset sometimes when I think about how my friend went from not even liking guys to being able to be a stay at home mom. I wish so bad I could spend all day with my little girl. On top of it all, my friend is always busy when I try to hang out. She knows I hardly have any extra time and then says, "oh, I forgot you were in school.." or oh, I forgot you work full time...". I know she doesn't mean to come off in any bad way. I just would like some advice how to get over my resentment, I don't want to feel like that! Please tell me I am not the only one! And I know being a SHM is no piece of cake either, don't get me wrong!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted on 01/29/2015

10,893

0

27

Have you considered that she may be jealous of you? That she is not really happy as a SAHM? Maybe if you lay your cards on the table, you'll feel better.

Trisha - posted on 01/29/2015

551

0

13

None from me. :( Sorry that you feel that way.
I can tell you I probably would feel the same way - and I am not sure how I would be able to get past it.
I have an-ex friend who recently told my husband that she loves and misses him and wishes that she could be me, even after she saw how much work I put into getting to the stage were I could start planning being a SAHM (FYI, lol...never try open relationships. They just give the women involved the indication that they should be able to try to take your men at any time- even after monogamy is established later).
Edit: Envy/Jealousy/Resentment will happen when you see people get what you want from life, ESPECIALLY when they don't have to do much to get it.
Maybe it might be worth talking to her about it. Just a simple coffee, letting her know that your are upset about it.
Sometimes I feel that being able to communicate my feelings, helps take off some of the stress/upset away... Light a small weight being lifted off my shoulders.

3 Comments

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms