Sleep over invites (and a faux pas on my part)

Susan - posted on 12/11/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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How do you handle invites for your kids to play and/or spend the night at a friend's house when you haven't met the friend or the child's family (and your child is 5 years old)? A parent sent a note home with mt 5-year-old kindergartener,yinviting him to stay overnight that same night, never having met us & vice versa. We declined, and invited the family over for dinner. They declined and invited us for dinner, which we accepted. Dinner was tomorrow, the invitation was cancelled (via the children, without any written communication or call to us), but an invitation was issued again for my son to come play and spend the night.

The issue is done overall, because of a faux pas on my part, however I wouldn't have committed the faux pas if the situation didn't make me so uncomfortable. That said, it doesn't make my own actions any less offensive.

In trying to decide, I researched the parents via the only means available to me -- FB. I sent my husband an email with a few factual observations about their FB pages. They are conservatives, they hunt, and they both work in a plastics factory. I didn't offer any opinions about these things, Unfortunately, I accidentally sent the email to the mom in question rather than my husband (who I'm emailing because he travels extensively for work, and is gone until the week of Christmas, and I wanted to make sure that he feels OK with everything, and to check on conversation topics).

I felt terrible about missending, and then emailed the mom similar information about ourselves (all of which would have probably come up at dinner had the whole thing not been rejected... But we are somewhat different in views, and it was probably because of that I was so concerned that she might feel judged. We are liberal in our politics, though there are certainly some subjects on which we lean conservative and my husband and I often poke fun at ourselves because 90% of our friends are conservative... and we've learned to avoid talking politics like the plague! We were vegetarians prior to trying to have children; 1 of our children refuses to eat meat in any form (she's 3 -- it could be textural) and our son is struggling with eating meat because he's asking us where the meat comes from and then gets really upset. We actually think that hunting is one of the best ways of obtaining meat, and have discussed that we'd like the kids to have the opportunity to learn to hunt, but we know that we can't teach them because we've never done it! And then I stated that they both work at a plastics factory, or did.

I didn't intend the information to be judgmental, but the mom has no idea of the subtext in our family or why my husband and I tend to communicate via brief email blurbs. She has uninvited my son, permanently. While I can't blame her, and I made the crazy mistake of hitting a reply that I thought was to my husband but was actually to her -- I have literally cried more than a little about this in self-loathing... I didn't mean the information the way she understood it, and I feel like I have damaged my son's relationships accordingly. But -- what an idiot I am!!!!

Also, we're both newly arrived to this community this school year. We literally know no one bu the crossing guard and my chiropractor, so we had been hoping to make a connection.

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