Striking a balance with a toddler & a newborn

Sandra - posted on 12/18/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

7

17

0

I could use lots of advice regarding dividing up my attention to a 3 yr. old toddler and a newborn when they are both in need of my help. I do try to take care of the newborn first, but when I'm getting my toddler ready for preschool, I have to let my newborn cry, so I can brush my toddler's teeth, wash her face, get her to the bathroom, get her dressed for school and fed and her hair fixed and her coat and boots & hat & gloves on. That's stressful for me to do, but it has to be that way. How can I make things run smoother in the mornings?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Cindy - posted on 07/20/2013

4

0

0

hi I m mommy of 2 kids 4 year girl n 5 mont boy

well my experience is giv attention to elder 1st than the baby coz baby doensot know but the elder knows for sure

Mandy - posted on 12/18/2009

375

16

149

It certainly is a balancing act when you add a newborn to the family. You're probably used to getting your 3yo dressed but she could probably do a lot of it herself. I was trying to remember how I did it with my 3. My oldest was 3 and then I had an 18 month old and newborn. For the most part, my 3yo learned to do everything for himself rather than waiting for mommy to help him. Now my oldest is 5, and my 3yo now even does most everything for herself. My youngest is almost 2 and wanting to dress herself already. I'm almost out of my morning job of dressing everyone. Just know that it does get easier. Your newborn will also have to learn how to be patient as well as you divide your time. Good luck with everything!

Amanda - posted on 12/18/2009

19

8

3

Maybe you can try and have your 3 yr old do more things on her own. My son who is 3 loves getting ready by himself. I let him brush his own teeth in the morning and he loves being able to do that by himself. Also try waking your daughter up a little earlier so you have a little more time to get your daughter ready and to tend to the baby if needed. Good luck.

16 Comments

View replies by

Cindy - posted on 07/20/2013

4

0

0

hi u shod giv ur atetion first to toddler


I hv kids same as ur kids age wen evr I take toddler to bathroom n I put baby on bed n let him cry for a while n then when I dress her so I hold the baby
hope it help

sory my eng no gud as eng is not my 1st lang

Amy - posted on 12/20/2009

191

26

23

i had a 2y/o and a new born so i know ur 'pain'. lol. although my toddler didn't go to school, i know how the day to day workings can be difficult. one thing i did was to try and do things together as much as possible. if my toddler needed to get dressed, i'd bring the baby into her bedroom (providing she was in something portable) and we'd get my toddler dressed together. i couldn't bring her in the bathroom but she could sit in the hall in her bouncer. if she was in her swing or something else that was not portable, we'd come to her. my toddler has brushed her teeth in the living room or gotten dressed out there. whatever it took to keep the peace. we cook together and fold laundry together. it takes some adjusting of the ways i was used to but it seemed to keep her busy and just hearing our voices kept her quiet i think. but there were times when she would just have to cry it out for a few minutes until i could get to her. i'd just try and talk to her and let her know i was coming. my toddler is now three and my newborn is now eleven months. we all survived and, aside from traveling as a pack no matter where we go in the house, we all made it through.

Kasha - posted on 12/19/2009

105

17

8

It's hard but somehow I have managed with a 23 month old and 3 year old. My husband helps but ummm I still do a lot of heavy supporting. In the beginning it was rough when both would cry I would cry feeling helpless.

My husband and I each get one child ready in the morning. I set close out the night before and try to pack baby bags for possible future outings in advance. This prevents that whole baby bag shuffle before leaving the house. Good luck!

Jaime - posted on 12/18/2009

214

16

12

I agree that a sling may be the thing that makes it easier! Maybe you should try to feed the newborn before the older one wakes up, so that you can get the newborn back to sleep before the olderone wakes up! One thing that may help is if you get the newborn fed and ready to go before the olderone wakes up, and put them in the carseat! My babies always slept good once they were snuggled in the car seats! And then you won't have to fuss with the baby after you have gotten your preschooler ready. Once the little one gets used to what you do with him, he will be easier to handle. Whatever you end up doing with your morning routine--- stick with it, because that will make your life much easier later!!! Good luck!!!

Jamie - posted on 12/18/2009

160

5

25

I used to put the baby in the bouncer while I did things for my 2 year old. There were times when she'd cry but eventually it became a pattern for all of us. My girls are only 20 months apart. At first it was a juggling act but between the bouncer and swing it helped greatly. I also at bath time would lay the baby down in the crib with the mobile on and that seemed to work like a charm if I was quick.

Davida - posted on 12/18/2009

7

36

1

before my new baby came i sat my toddler down and told him he had to be a big boy now and help mommy out by starting to do things for him self ect brushing his teeth and getting dressed things like that and when it came to the birth he was ever so supportive and was such a big boy he got straight in to doing it as he said he was a big boy now lol and when it came play time we all joined in even my newborn even tho he wasnt old enough yet and because we started that hes never fought or tryed to hurt him in anyway because thay both have my undivided attention but even when i could deal with the both it dosnt hurt for a child to cry if they dont need anything. gd luck

Collette - posted on 12/18/2009

12

23

5

i am in the same boat i have a 3yr old boy and a 9 month old, and it gets very very stressed out quite often, what we do which seems to work for us is we involved our 3yr old in everything possible with our newborn for example taking nappy to bin and getting the wipes, also we tend to get our eldest dressed in eye sight of youngest because he is always talking to him and also we can involve youngest as we tend to give him stuff to play with like my eldest's clean socks or something he just looks at them but it relaxes him more from crying cos we are involving him with stuff and his attention is averted we are doing this quite consistently and 70/100 times it succeeds in distracting him and then we can do whats needed to get eldest dressed. Hope this helps and good luck.

[deleted account]

I also read in an article that you deal with the one that will remember first, unless of course its an emergency :) I would try getting your 3 yr old ready earlier? or wearing your baby to help...3 is still too young to brush her teeth alone she needs to have an adult go back through because 3 year olds are NOT thorough enough by dentist standards!!! This is only part of the reason why our 3 yr old is waiting til next year before he goes to preschool, having his brother in the same month school started had alot to do with it too :) Good luck! You'll find your niche!

Christie - posted on 12/18/2009

60

14

7

I'm in the same boat as you are. Someone told me to help my toddler first, because he will remember where your newborn will not. Also this will help the older one not get so jealous if his needs are met first. Good luck!

Temeka - posted on 12/18/2009

48

18

4

I am a stay-at-home mom with two little ones - 15 months apart. The first thing I had to do was prioritize. Some things just didn't get done! Secondly, the newborn wants to be held A LOT!!! I put my baby in a sling or the Baby Bjorn and was able to accomplish just about everything!! Granted, I had to do a lot of it side ways cuz the baby was in the way. Telling myself the whole time, err, chanting, "It's only for a short time, it's only for a short time!"

Melissa - posted on 12/18/2009

85

27

14

It's hard to get things to move in the morning, But it sounds like you doing a fine job, dont get to stressed, when I had my new baby at home with me i had a 3year old, a 13month old, that was hard to do simce the 13 months old had no idea what was going on. You can only do so much, Maybe you new born wants to be in the same room as you are when you get her ready. Things will get better when the baby is a little older. good luck

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms