Too scared to let my child sleep alone. Am I the only one?

Liz - posted on 09/29/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Its rather obvious that my 3 year old is WAY too big to be sleeping in bed with me & my man as she has been since she was little. I've found the problem is not with her, but ME! When she is in her "big girl bed" I can't sleep. I have to get up multiple times to check on her (even though she's fine) and end up having a terrible night. When my man puts his foot down, I end up sleeping with her in her room, or on a pallet on the floor. Is it absolutely ridiculous to think I HAVE to have a monitor in her room. I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who has this problem & if anyone has any advice! I miss my sleep!

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Janessa - posted on 10/11/2012

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I know what helps me is knowing there is a higher power in control and I can tell if I am being paranoid or if there really is something wrong. God is the one that helps me. I know bad things still happen, but recognizing that we are not in control and that God will bring us peace and strength through everything, and he'll warn us and let us know what to prepare for, does a world of good for me. I still have paranoid thoughts rise up, but I can sit back and rationally think about it, and tell when it is just that. The fact is bad things happen no matter what you do, to everybody, no one is spared that, and if you live your life in fear, you don't live. The only promise we have is that we will be given peace in this life and eternal life in the world to come. If we place our hope and trust in that it gives us strength and peace of mind. I have literally felt God lift me up through difficult times, in which I could barely feel the pain. This life was never meant to be it, our home is elsewhere, this is just a test, and we can either learn from it and become like our Father in Heaven full of love for all, or we can become bitter and angry. In saying all this I am not suggesting something is going to happen to your daughter, chances are nothing will, I am only saying this is what helps me. If we believe it is up to us to keep our children alive it can seem an impossible task because the fact is we can't be there all the time, because we need sleep, and other things. All we can do, is our best, which doesn't mean we do it perfectly, God takes care of the rest, and we have to trust to him. Hope that helps.

Renjeismama1103 - posted on 12/07/2016

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I have the same problem. Most of the reason I'm terrified of my toddler sleeping alone is because of all the sickos in the world who break into your home when your sleeping and terrible things happen. No disrespect to anyone believe in God ECT. But the lady that commented talking about how her comfort is believing in a higher power helps her let her child sleep alone makes me laugh out loud. So ignorant. To me if their is a god, God wouldn't let babies and toddlers and children getting brutally murdered and tortchured on day to day basis. I'm not trying to be negative Nancy but religion is not going to save your child if an intruder breaks in trying to harm you or your child. So the only solution I have is to talk to your doctor or a phycologist. I'm going to . For me it's hard for any parent to take that risk night putting our children to bed. We live in a world with a lot of sick people and we rather be safe than sorry. But I know my son needs to sleep in his own room. He needs to build more independence and not be scared of monsters that aren't even their. One day at a time.

Jessica - posted on 09/29/2012

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What is it that you are scared will happen if she sleeps in her bed?



I think we all have mom fears when it comes to our children. Sometimes I make myself anxious thinking about different things that can happen to my kids. I think when we become moms, we also become slightly crazy, lol. Really, there is such a strong bond between a mother and her child(ren). It is our instinct to protect our kids, and it's natural that having your children near you makes you feel as though you are doing just that - protecting them. It's not such a bad idea to try and loosen that protective nature though... at least in terms of letting your child sleep in her own bed. Although it makes you feel good, in the long run, you may be impacting her sense of security and independence. Maybe you can transition to an every other day, or only have her sleep in the bed one or two days a week?



I think that if this is keeping you up at night, then really what you must do first is address what your anxieties are about allowing her to sleep in her own room.

Alba - posted on 10/10/2012

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I had the same problem with my little girl when she was about that age. I realize that it was me who had the problem so I spoke to my sicology doctor and she asked me " If you are okey with your daughter listening to the noices that you and your husband make at night?" This question helped me to think differently.

Suzanne - posted on 10/03/2012

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your not the only one on this 1.I too get/feel the same way.But there are other reasons to why my 3yr old is in my room.He did have his but had to put him back in my room because his 8yr old brother wont let him sleep/keeps waking him up from sleep real early in am and pm when i get him to sleep.6pm.my 8yr old also refuses to share a room with his brother.(he has adhd/mood disorder).He is stubern at times.So what i did was put my 3yr old's bed(twin size)and my bed(queen size)together.He sleeps on his own.but it works we all get sleep he gets sleep and he feels comfortable too.And by the way both me and their father are perfectly fine with this setup.So do what make you comfortable and works.their only young once/and growing up fast.Some pple may not like the idea but your the mom your raising your own kids it up to you not anyone else.That's how i see it.

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Dollygirly07 - posted on 08/14/2016

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I feel the same way. I keep thinking what if someone sneakily comes in and tries to take him away or something. It's the worst. My sister in law and brother still sleep with most of their kids and their oldest is 5. I guess that is the culture she grew up in though. Her whole family slept in the same bed I guess. Wish my husband would be on with that. He was for the longest time. I think it is because our baby has gotten bigger and kicks now. It just makes me so anxious to leave him alone.

Dollygirly07 - posted on 08/14/2016

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So obviously I did something wrong. When I clicked hugs too many times it turned it into negative hugs. Lol

Basically I feel the same way. My toddler is only 15mo and I'm afraid to let him sleep in a room alone. I want my husband to sleep with me but he won't because I'm still sleeping with our toddler in my bed. I'm trying to convince him to bring the other bed in the room but he says there isn't enough space for it. :/

Liz - posted on 10/26/2012

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Thanks for all the help. It's always nice to know others feel the same way. I've recently been doing well with letting my daughter sleep in her own bed. I bought a new twin size bed with a guard rail so I feel a little better! Again thanks for the help & advice!

Elizabeth - posted on 10/07/2012

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No monitor at 3 years old firstly. My son was 4 when we finally got him out of our bed, so I know the feeling of one in your bed too long. And it was so relieving when he slept all night in his own bed. He just did not want to sleep in his room, and we didn't make him. It wasn't me wanting him there, but him not wanting to leave!!!! We eventually let him pick out his own "big boy bed" and only let him sleep with mommy and daddy on special nights.(which did help too) Now my daughter, she slept in her own bed since she was born. We used a monitor with her til she was around 18 months old. After that, we just kept our door open to hear them. Does she have trouble sleeping in her own room? If not, you may wanna seek some kind of help of why all the paranoia. Unless you have a 10+ bedroom home, you would hear her cry out if she did. Here's hoping you break you of this habit!!!

Courtney - posted on 10/07/2012

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when my daughter was born i was the same way. however, i just had to come to terms that she will be ok sleeping in her own room. As long as you have monitors it should be a good comfort because you can hear if she makes any noise. I check on my daughter a couple times but once shes asleep i know she'll be ok. i would try just using the monitors and tell yourself she'll be ok sleeping by herself. i didn't want my daughter getting used to sleeping in my bed unless she was sick then that was different. But as long as nothing is around that she can get to that she shouldn't have she will be fine.

But you aren't the only one who had that problem. Good luck and give it a try.

Liz - posted on 10/04/2012

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haha It's nice to know I'm not alone. I think of the worst case scenario, crazy things like break ins, spiders, ANYTHING. Do those who have children in their own bed still use a monitor, I just don't want to spend 100$ more dollars on another monitor ( the last one broke) I've been told by friends that they stop using theirs after 2 years.

Sandy84 - posted on 10/04/2012

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You're not! It's normal, I think!! :) My little boy is only 9 months old and I want him around 24/7 :)

Katherine - posted on 09/29/2012

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Nope. You're not the only one. My 3 year old sleeps with me still and she likes to sleep in her big girl bed. However I freak out when she does. I don't sleep either. I have a rail, but I can't figure out how to put the darn thing together. It's makes it that much worse. I'm a single mom too, so THAT makes it worse.

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