Tough Times with Toddlers

Jaime - posted on 01/27/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I am having trouble with my 2 yr old from time to time. He seems to have a lot of frustration and talk back to my husband and i and try to hit us or throwing toys. He is talking a little, that may have something to do with it, but I don't think that his time out on the steps or taking toys away is working as well as I would like. I am talking to him explaining that he can't do things like that and why he gets his toys taken away, it's not like I just kept telling him no......He is usually the perfect little boy. Any other suggestions? Help

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Heb - posted on 07/11/2013

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Stephanie - posted on 03/27/2010

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The corner. I do endorse a light hand slap now and again but only when your calm so he doesn't take it as you're punishing him out of anger otherwise he'll always react and hit out of anger. For hiting and throwing I start taking things away. she throws a toy I put the toy box in my room she hits me I take her sippy away for a while. But reacting and executing a punishment ASAP is important they don't have much of a memory at this age

Lyndsay - posted on 03/27/2010

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Just try to keep in mind that they don't call it the "terrible twos" for nothing. Every child is going to act out from time to time, and no kid is perfectly well-behaved (especially as a toddler). I'd say that if he is *usually* a good kid, your interventions are probably working. If he is running around like a lunatic, destroying things and beating up on everything in sight... then I'd say they probably are not.

Diana - posted on 03/26/2010

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I also don't believe in spanking... specially if you're trying to teach your son that it's not ok to hit people. My son went through this phase about a year ago. And it definitely had to do with the fact that he couldn't tell us what he wanted/ needed. I got a simple sign language book and to my surprise, he picked it up right away. He is now 26 months and he can tell me almost anything and he still signs a lot.

Melanie - posted on 03/26/2010

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I like your idea Thrishta! I am going to try that when my turn comes. So far he's only 1 so I am not there yet, but ill remember your advice!

Trishta - posted on 03/25/2010

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try putting him in a chair he can't get out of and have it for his time out seat. i have a 4 year old little boy and he does the same things. spanking doesn't help in his case so we had to try other solutions also. good luck and keep in touch...

Mari - posted on 03/23/2010

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My little boy is 2.5 years old one and he did go through exactly the same phase about half year ago. He had allot of frustration in him and it was because he did not talk much yet. He did not get his word across and that was the reason. Now that he talks bit more his frustration is gone. we were worried with my husband then since at first we didn't understand why h was behaving like this. Just be patien, it will go over. Just imagine how hard it would be for you to get the message ocross to others if you know only so few words ... frustrtrating. You will have you little angle back soon ... actually when he had this period I read in on of the parenting books that you have to talk toddlerese to them. I know it sound completely idiodic but to my surprise it did help allot. The book is called The Happiest Toddler on the Block. I still have it if you would like it. Good luck!

Tracy - posted on 03/22/2010

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I don't believe in spanking, I think it teaches that hitting is ok, even though your telling him not to. Tell him no hitting or throwing, put him in time out and walk away. Come back and make up and discuss after he's calmed down. A frustrated, upset child isn't listening. You may have to leave him crying in the corner for a while. It's hard not to go back in there! My son is 4 1/2 now. The phases come and go. Hang in there and try to be patient.

[deleted account]

Hello jamie are you still having issues if so I can help lets chat mollyanderson19@yahoo.com new to the group

Jaime - posted on 01/27/2009

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Thanks ladies.  Just wanted some reinforcement.  I know it's a phase, just seems like he has been doing good for so long and has a little of a set back.  Thanks again for your advice

[deleted account]

You have a typical 2 year old who is pushing the limit to see how much he can get away with.  You must set limits for them and be consistent. Each time he hits or throws toys you need to have a consistent "Go To" action....the action must be an action you and your husband both follow through with and agree upon. Such as, smacking their hand and saying a firm NO, or a paddle on the behind, or telling the child NO we don't hit or throw toys and put them in their room with the door shut for 2 or 3 minutes.  Consistency is the key and it's hard b/c this is a normal behavior for this age....but the more you and your husband are consistent following the same regimen and the older the child gets...this will stop.  It's hard but just try to take a deep breath and tell yourself this phase will pass. GOOD LUCK!

Angela - posted on 01/27/2009

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Hi,
It sounds like you are doing a good job talking with him and explaining that he cannot throw or hit. Terry Brazelton wrote an excellent book called "Touchpoints" about behavioral development ages 0-3. Most toddlers hit and/or throw toys at least occasionally, it's normal. A time out for hitting and toys taken away for throwing + a short explanation afterward about why it's inappropriate is good punishment. The results are not permanent or immediate, but your child will grow out of this phase. Treating his outbursts calmly and with consistent messaging and consequences will help him to eventually understand that hitting and throwing are wrong. Our key phrase (courtesy Brazelton) is "I don't like to be hit, and no one else likes it either. I will not allow you to hit." If he does it again, an immediate time out- no explanations or reasoning. Same drill except toys taken away for a period of time when they are thrown. A brief, simple explanation after punishment is over is fine.

Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2009

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I can hear my Mom, "You have to IMMEDIATELY correct that action!"...lol. She's the best Mom and I look to her for guidance. If Joc does something like that, we take immediate action.

Jaime - posted on 01/27/2009

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Yes, well I meant to put that we sometimes pop him on his butt or hand when it's bad or I've had it.  He knows it's bad immediately and comes back with hugs and kisses, but that initial instinct is to yell or hit or if he has something in his hands throw it......Thanks

Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2009

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Hey Jaime. Well, my husband and I are firm believers in spanking. Time out just doesn't work for some children. For some, it works fine, but not for ours. Our 2yr old (who will be three in March) went through a hitting phase also. Popping her hand or leg certainly gets her attention. It isn't a fun thing to do, but we as parents have to set rules and guidelines. If "time out" or taking the toys isn't working, I'd see if this does.

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