WHAT ARE SOME METHODS OF TIME OUT?HELPPPPP

Sherrie - posted on 11/17/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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MY DAUGHTER HAS CHANGED SO MUCH FROM A SWEET AND ,HYPER YET LOVING CHILD TO A very scary child.She screams at mostlyme,mom, she bites me, hits me,spits at me,tries to lick me???.i have no idea what to do i hate spanking and have tried time out in her room, but with the door shut and she FREAKS OUT!The chair time out ,she just sits there like nothing happened.So i am lost.Help ,any ideas???Thanks so much!And God Bless!Sher

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Rachel - posted on 11/19/2011

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She's two? Well, not to dismiss your concerns, but that sounds like she's exploring and experimenting with her boundaries. You are very good and kind? Then she can experiment fully, without fear, because she is secure in your love for her. I think your right that diet may have precipitated that. A multivitamin and maybe some omega 3's would help stabilize that aspect. But she sounds like most other well loved 2 yr olds the weeks after Halloween. Of course, don't tolerate it - show her the boundaries. But I wouldn't be overly concerned. Growth spurts can also precipitate these grumpy, defiant outbursts. Great advice on here, the only one I'd add is that I have never tried to stick to a time limit on time outs. Their needs vary wildly from day to day, and so they just stay in there until their emotions are under control. She should 100% be allowed to freak out in her room. A bedroom is a safe place to feel, and a 2 yr old has a tremendous amount of emotion. It may not seem this way to you, but the freak out may be a tremendous relief to her, because she doesn't have the coping mechanisms yet to process her emotions. Let her scream.

Aimee - posted on 11/21/2011

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i did all that 2 and gave up for a long time then someone told me to take there fav toy or somethin they really like off them and they can only have it back if they earn it back. i also found if rewardin them for the gd things with a star chart and when they miss behave they lose a star worked hope 1 of these helped and gd luck

Kelina - posted on 11/18/2011

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freaks out how? is it safe for her to throw a temper tantrum in her room? is the light on? I think Katherine's right if this change was overnight maybe take her to a behavioural therapist, they can give you some ideas....

Katherine - posted on 11/17/2011

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How old is she?
You may want to have her evaluated by a behavioral therapist IMO.

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i agree that she is throwing a temper tantrum. time outs in her room is a secure place for her but you have to have a stern voice so you show youre the boss.

Elizabeth - posted on 12/26/2011

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i don''t'' know I am having the same problems with my five year old step son

Susan - posted on 11/20/2011

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Maybe you should take her to the pediatrician and have her checked out physically to see if something is bothering her. Is she tender anywhere? Have you changed her diet? You mentioned she became this way after too much Halloween candy - have you taken sugar out of her diet? If there is nothing physically wrong, then perhaps she is just going through a stage where she is trying to find her boundaries. Stay calm and be consistent. But maybe something physically is bothering her?

Sherrie - posted on 11/20/2011

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Rachel thank you great ideas i am going to try to help her in any way i can my love for her is so ,so strong .My husband and i actually figured it out and she has actually been going through this since sept.1st (approx.)It;s horrible and WE ARE LIKE THE most calm parents you'd ever want to meet.Just feel defeated, but will try harder.Just say a PRAYER,PLEASE for my Desi and Us if ya'll will.God Bless Sher

Susan - posted on 11/19/2011

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Lead her to a place where she can hit a pillow until she winds down. She is very young. Maybe the sugar affected her. It won't do you any good in the long run to hit her. She is trying to find her boundaries so be consistent. Go over your household rules every morning, then enforce them. It takes lots of patience and stamina to enforce rules and consequences but staying calm and being non-physical works - unless you want to hold her until she quiets down - but hitting, spanking, yelling, scolding and nagging don't work. Stay firm and be consistent and she will find her boundaries.

Sherrie - posted on 11/18/2011

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Thanks Katherine, thats my next step.I just have to speak to her Ped.God Bless you all and thanks (just so you know shes 21/2 born Feb.12 /09,and doing everything else very normal to good range(school wise) But i am home with her 24/7 and i try so hard, but something is way off.thanks again!Sher

Sherrie - posted on 11/18/2011

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Kelina, she freaks out by hitting me,biting me throwing things and licking things which, i hate cause i'm always onto her about germs and washing ect,not eating laughing when put in time out.And she never behaved this badly.I Behavior specialist is a DR?And as far as her room the light is on,i just shut the door and she FREAKS OUT(I THINK BECAUSE SHE CAN'T SEE ME)not sure?But i am so sweet and good to her and my husband is also,we just want her back to normal,i'm going to call to get a behavior DR.I need a referral.I believe they will give me one.Thanks so very much all of you and i'll keep you posted.It started on Halloween when she ate to much candy and hasn't stopped and i watch her sugar intke really carefully,so thanks again.Sher

Erin - posted on 11/18/2011

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I have two boys (4yo and 2yo). For their age, we have 3 household rules: Be Nice, Be Polite, and Listen. Under each of the rules (which are posted in our home) there are examples of what situation fall under each rule. I do time out (1 minute/year of age) with the boys facing a corner. I chose standing in a corner because even out in public or at someone else's home, there is always a corner some place. Following through is important. When I first started, my boys didn't want to follow the rules in public some days. That is, until they found out that Mommy would put them into time out in Walmart! After time out, we talk about why they were put there, followed by an apology for the behavior and hugs (so they know that they're still loved). You can't threaten and not follow through. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Good luck.

Rebekah - posted on 11/18/2011

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First off, take a deep breath and calm down. Your frustration will actually increase the bad behavior in her.

Second, if you want time out to be successful, you have to be consistent with it. Choose the option you know you can do "every" single time and come up with the boundaries you want her to remain in.

What we did in our home was come up with a list of rules (small list) that we wanted followed. Then we did a consequence chart, so when the rule was broken, the same discipline would be followed through with every single time.

We are Christians, so we based our rules upon Scripture.

I have different measures for different things:

Being Mean to People/Pets = Time Out for (minute per age). If my son hits, bites, pushes, pulls, etc... he gets put into the time out chair. I have on the wall hung up in front of him, a picture of a child praying, and smiley face. The point is to ask for forgiveness, then come out with a smile on our face. After time out is up, I review the Scripture with my son of what he is supposed to do, then we pray together, hugs, kisses and move on.

Other forms of discipline could be:
- Take away a favorite toy (trains would great in my house)
- Have a Time IN. This method works too, instead of time out, they have a time in with mom. You go to a particular area that you call the "time in" area and spend time with your kid - first calming them, then reading a book together, then you talk about what you want your child to do and then move on.
- Do a mommy time out! (this works great with my son too, especially if I get too frustrated, I have to walk away from the situation) - I put myself in time out for a few minutes till I am calm and can handle the power battle in a calm manner. "A gentle answer turns away wrath" Proverbs 15:1

You can see my house rules, consequence chart and timeout prayer cards on my blog: http://princesspartygirl.blogspot.com/p/...

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