What can we do about aggressive behavior of 3 & 1/2 yr. old?

Suzy - posted on 04/13/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Our 3&1/2 year old has been sent home from nursery school several times for hitting and kicking. What kind of consequences will help him stop this?

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Suzy - posted on 04/14/2012

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I think this is A good idea. When I ask him what happened he immediately tells me what the other child did to him first. I think he is probably telling the truth, because he answers so quick w/out taking time to make up a story. I tell him that instead of hitting back he needs to tell his teacher what happened. Hopefully he will learn to do this soon.

Suzy - posted on 04/14/2012

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I think this is A good idea. When I ask him what happened he immediately tells me what the other child did to him first. I think he is probably telling the truth, because he answers so quick w/out taking time to make up a story. I tell him that instead of hitting back he needs to tell his teacher what happened. Hopefully he will learn to do this soon.

Suzy - posted on 04/14/2012

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Thank you Audra. That sounds right on the money. Lee has a 4 month old sister and he often tries to rub her head too hard and this gets him attention. When he gets sent home from school and I ask him why he hit or kicked, he resells what happened. He tells me what happened and he states that another child hurt him first. He's so yoUng. that I doubt he is making it up.

Audra - posted on 04/13/2012

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He shouldn't be allowed to go to nursery school if he's going to hit and kick, but what was happening just before he was caught hitting and kicking? Did he do it in defense of another kid stealing a toy away, for example? You should be welcome to sit in and monitor him to see if you see any pattern, and then at least you'd have a place to start when it came to correcting him. My 3-year-old continues to test his boundaries, what is allowed/appropriate, and the outcome of his action...sometimes it seems he just wants to see if knocking his little brother on the head will make him pout...

Amy - posted on 04/13/2012

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What are the triggers for the behavior? Does the school say what happens right before this aggressive behavior? Does he have the language skills to express he's angry and why? If you don't know the answers I would try and figure that out. Unfortunately disciplining at home at 3 1/2 is too late he won't understand why he's being disciplined. If the school isn't able to somewhat curb these outbursts I would probably look for a school with a smaller class size where he can get more individualized attention.

Girlnextdoor - posted on 04/13/2012

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Hi Suzy,
Hmmm... while I realize you are asking for appropriate consequences/discipline for your child's behavior, I'm wondering if you are aware of the reason for the behavior. If not, maybe it might be something to think about and get some advice on. I work for Focus on the Family and we offer free counseling over the phone with a licensed therapist. If you want to get some input about this matter, just call 1-855-771-4357 weekdays between 6:00am and 8:00 pm MT. I hope this is helpful. Blessings!

Suzy - posted on 04/13/2012

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This is a new behavior at school. He has occasionally acted this way at home when he has been put in time out.

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