What do you do when your 3-year old won't listen

Jennifer - posted on 04/09/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )




I have a 3-year old girl who will not listen. What do you all do to get your toddlers to listen. I am at my whits end and not too sure what to do. My husband thinks she acts the way she does because he says I spoil her, but I don't see how that has anything to do with it. Please help.


Sarah - posted on 04/09/2012




Be consistant and Follow through. Also remember you are her parent not her friend. She will have many friends thoughout her life but only two parents, so you need to be the parent and not the friend. There are going to be times when she does not like you or when you have to tell her "no". No only gets harder as they get older. Have another adult that you trust be more of the "friend". I have a sister that shares the same values, beliefs, and morals that I do. She is my kids' friend. She is there to listen to them when they are mad at mom/dad. She may say the same thing we would (often times she does) but coming from her they take it differently then coming from me or dad.

I would have to agree with your husband on the spoiling. If you give into her or give her things without her having to work for them then that is what she is going to expect and demand. Kids are smart they know who they can go to to get what they want. You have to set boundries. For example in my house you are expected to use table manners when you eat. I start teaching these as soon as they are sitting at the table with us. By age 2 yrs old I then start to discipline if you are not using your manners. It is either a time out in the time out spot for 2 consecutive min. or it is plate pushed up further on the table so you can reach it and you sitting in your chair...when you are ready to eat using your manners then you get the plate back. A few times of testing the limits and then they tend to sit nicely and eat with not much issue. But I have to be CONSISTANT and FOLLOW THOUGH or my words mean nothing and they know that.

To me Grandparents are the ones for the spoiling. That does not mean that every now and then instead of eating a healthy lunch we go out for ice cream instead. Those are the fun every now and then treats. My husband will take off two days during the school year when the kids don't have school. He has them make a list of things they would like to do with him (they are a bit older). This is special father/child time and certain things are bought or done during this time that are not usually done/bought. Here and there is fine it makes it special, but on an everyday or normal day situation then it becomes excepted and demanded. If is something you have to work for or something that does not happen regularly it is appreciated more and valued more.

September - posted on 04/09/2012




We remove our son from the situation, take him to a quite place in the house, wait for him to calm down, then we talk, hug and move on. Works great with our 3 year old. Whatever you do be consistent. Good luck!

America3437 - posted on 04/09/2012




Make all direction simple and get on her level. Stay consistant when it comes to dicipline and she'll catch on. If you put her in time out and she leaves early without permission then she goes right back to time out and time starts over. The only advice I wish I had listened to was to stay consistant.


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Consistency, consistency, consistency. They will test you. I suggest the time out method, and taking away things she likes. Also explain the reason for the punishment and what can be done to prevent future punishments.I had the same problem with my step daughter at the age of 3, and she was spoiled by her dad and her mom. But not with I, I put my foot down and it stays down! She is 4 now and has a good understanding that if she does not do what she is told, she does not get to ride her bike, play with her toys, watch her favorite shows or get desert. Now I get full cooperation.

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